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Out with the old, in with the now


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In our new mode of no communication, I am comfortable. Feels right. Then today, at precisely the right time before my flight, Slushie wishes me a great vacation. When I arrive I reply with a pic. I make a v-day date remark to the likes of "If nobody thanks you for x, remember I already did... and if somebody does, she heard it from me first"

 

To which he replied

You're the only one thanking me

 

Which was downright nice.

 

My weekend is already perfect. Tomorrow, I run, hit the farmers market, and take a nap.

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Sounds like you're enjoying the flirty texting -is that something you feel you can keep as lighthearted flirting without getting re-attached/hampering you from moving on?

 

Absolutely. He was intentional about finding out when I was leaving town, and was intentional about wishing me a good trip. I like that affirmation. It seems we know each other well, and we don't communicate otherwise, so that is meaningful.

 

He is someone who is out there someplace, someone who likes and respects me, and nothing more may come of it. I am okay with that and I feel completely available.

 

Also had fun text exchange with the man I am meeting this Thursday. He also was thoughtful to wish me a good trip. Looking forward to that date; he seems fun. In person, it can all go up in smoke, and I am glad to have an opportunity to qualify him.

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Second prospect. Two red flags... he's told me so many things about himself, like, who is trying to impress? Also, so much, so many experiences. Is he omnipresent? Also,aybe married twice. Otoh... lots and lots in brain power. Worth looking into.

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HVD wishes from Slushie this morning.

 

Sent my dad an affectionate VD email - not lame because of the photo album attached to it.

 

New appreciation for why I like texting... been having group chats with family members. Way more fun to do that by text than by conference call. We can all hear each other, and respond at our own pace, and keep multiple threads running. F2F is best, but as that is impossible, group texting fun with some. One of my sibs can't do it. She is hyper sensitive to tone and power dynamics, and she loses the threads and gets annoyed at the volume of incoming. All understandable and reasonable; I just don't text her.

 

Two more dating prospects. One whose family seems much like mine; I don't know much about him yet. The second replied enthusiastically but can't yet further qualify him either. So far, this dating app is much better for me! Nobody has asked me out, I am not sure what that's about, but it could be because I am traveling. Will see what happens next week.

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Just spent two hours talking to an ocean rescue worker who lives his life to surf and has been surfing 50 years. Has little education and makes little money, but has traveled the world - easter island, hawaii, mexico, various parts of the coastal US - with friends at all the surfer spots. Surfers loving surfers in the circle of trust year after year, season after season. Talked about surfers who strive to be the best surfer, and after that run is over, have nothing. No kids, no family [his examples], no sense of something bigger.

 

Same as corporate America, I thought. Isn't it funny how values have the same impact everywhere, no matter what skin you're in.

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Second first meet date planned - well, no, calendars didn't sync up so I've got to look... This one, I don't quite understand. Multiple countries, job skills, military service, degrees. It's a lot of life. I quite like that, but I don't see how it fits together yet.

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Feeling so good today.

 

Why? Because I am starting to live my life, my way, without any help. No family, friend, bf, or babysitter was needed for me to get myself out of town for the weekend, my kids taken care of, and my projects under way. People around me notice, acquaintances. "You get up and do something about it" was a recent comment. And it's true. It isn't that it's easy, I'm done, I've arrived - far from it. I'm doing me. That's it. It's quite something. I feel pretty special about that.

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That was an interesting read lol. I posted it on jays fb wall and told him "it was nice knowing him. Since he's the best person I've ever dated, I'm supposed to marry the next guy that's better than him." I think deep down he likes it.

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We actually thought of marketing my brother years ago: Date JK and marry the next guy.

 

Seemed every woman he broke up with married the next guy she dated. My brother owns own company, avid golfer, skier, volunteers with handicapped and looks like Richard Gere. Took him until 45 to find the woman he would marry.

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MHowe, I am your brother's soul sister. (Not sure if that means we're related.) The number of men who marry after dating me is unnerving. I am hopeful (and sense) that trend is fading.

 

That's good. Because any man who has dated me for any significant amount of time....has never married!

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Together we could have really spun some heads into madness.

 

Oh, I have to take that back. College bf, whom I dated two years post grad, got a woman pregnant while HE was off at grad school and somehow forgot to tell me.

He married her and is still married.

 

All other "loves" ---- are still single. Twenty-ish years later. And they aren't gay either!

Edited by mhowe
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