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Collegeguy

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Hello all,

 

Looking for opinions on this situation. I started talking to this girl from a dating website for maybe about 2 weeks. We talked by messages, texts, and had long phone calls. We haven't met yet, but in one week its like we're talking like we're in love (she shifted the conversation to that tone). There's some signs of Catfishing here. She's on vacation for 2 weeks and is back home out of state and now her grandfather just passed away. We seem to have everything in common and she seems to really likes me. All the stories and details we talk about are consistent and I had a friend run some searches on her and all her information checked out with no warnings. It was just a holiday so the vacation does make sense and she does know exact details of the area we're from. Besides the progression of our conversations there is nothing that draws suspicion. Apparently, she had some traumatic family event happen and her boyfriend cheated on her all this past year. Is it possible that I can be getting Catfished of am I just being paranoid?

 

Thanks,

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Sounds really suspicious.

 

I had this woman try this on me but her big mistake was sending me a picture or a Spanish novella star that I recognized. I played along for a while and listened to her excuses why we couldn't meet blah blah blah. Then I dropped the bomb on her that I knew. She was catfishing another guy I knew and filled him so he could bust her too.

 

By the way she checked out too when I searched but it turns out she did her homework too and followed a script of someone else's life.

 

 

I would tell her you are sorry for her loss and let her know when she has taken care of her family and has time to meet in person to contact you and that you do not want to get in to deep emotionally until you have had a chance to get to know each other in person.

 

See how she reacts and go from there. She should be understanding.

 

Lost

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She sounds legit to me. I don't see any red flags. If you're lucky, maybe a few times before you're 40 someone will come into your life whom you just totally click with and have so much in common with. Like you've known each other forever. Try to enjoy it

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Pictures don't mean anything unless you know someone that knows her and can verify.

 

2 weeks of long talks and no meet? That is way to much time and not have met. Ask her to skype and see what she says.

 

 

 

Lost

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Whatever u do, meet in public so theres nothing bad that happens the first time. Try to ask her what shes doing at that moment (like working for example or at the gym) and be like....hey send me a selfie now! It works! If shes a catfish youll see the excuses.

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Yes she has sent lots of different pictures of herself.

That means absolutely nothing. Anyone can send lots of pictures, but not f themselves. It would be easier to confirm via skype - at least that way you know (and can see) who you're talking to.

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Cut back on the chit chat and arrange a firm meet. If she is being evasive, move on.

It's the kind of intensive chit chat that is pulling you in and that's how con artists get to you. All that sharing and talking creates a false sense of connection and bonding and feelings. If you don't engage in it and keep things sparse and light with a firm meet date in sight, you'll avoid scammers as they will quickly scuttle away from you because their chat game is not working on you.

 

Sure, people travel, go on vacations, things happen. However, a real person who wants to meet you is perfectly able to say, "I'll be on vacation for two weeks. Let's meet on Wed. at 7 at X place the week I'm back." If you can't nail something like that down with them, time to move on. If they have time to chat, text, spend hours on the phone or Skype, they do have time to meet, they are not meeting for a reason or two.

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I wasn't saying the picture were proof of anything...I was just asking.

 

Two weeks is a long time but if she was on vacation and then had an emergency it's understandable. I wouldn't go past 4 weeks with no meet though. I agree with the others who suggest a skype or facetime chat...if she says no to that then there's a big red flag. I hate video chat so if a guys asks me I usually just ask to move up the in person meeting. lol But I'll do it if it's what he really wants....if he just needs some reassurance.

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What the ?? is a catfish?

 

LOL

 

from the urban dictionary but really accurate for this use of the word (although for our OP it extends beyond social media to OLD as well):

catfish

 

"A catfish is someone who pretends to be someone they're not using Facebook or other social media to create false identities, particularly to pursue deceptive online romances.

 

Did you hear how Dave got totally catfished last month?! The fox he thought he was talking to turned out to be a pervy guy from San Diego!

 

or

 

I was really falling for that gorgeous gal on Facebook, but she turned out to be a catfish."

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Just so you know, sometimes I can make myself sound really sexy over the phone, and send you a girl's pics.

 

 

Yes she might be real, but either meet up or skype before you continue to be invested.

 

 

Catfishing seems to have gotten more popular due to the show.

 

 

I used to pretend I was a girl sometimes in video games because guys would treat me like royalty and give me their gold

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Whether it looks like you're being Catfished is irrelevant. This all started with an online dating site. So, stop "text dating" her, and ask her out for a real date with a set day, and place to meet. You'll then know whether she's a fake, or for real. If she cancels out without coming up with an alternate plan, that seals her fate.

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Just so you know, sometimes I can make myself sound really sexy over the phone, and send you a girl's pics.

 

 

Yes she might be real, but either meet up or skype before you continue to be invested.

 

 

Catfishing seems to have gotten more popular due to the show.

 

 

I used to pretend I was a girl sometimes in video games because guys would treat me like royalty and give me their gold

 

 

Lmao!!! You cad!!

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Are there male catfish? I need a new hobby.

 

I don't know if it's shown in Canada, but MTV has a show on Catfishing. Pretty interesting. It's amazing in the # of people who are tricked by it, all because they can't, or don't make the immediate attempt to meet the imposter in person.

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"We haven't met yet, but in one week its like we're talking like we're in love (she shifted the conversation to that tone)"

 

This is the only red flag that I would worry about.

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