Qwerty72 Posted December 30, 2014 Share Posted December 30, 2014 My boyfriend of 3 months was supposed to be here at mine in an hour and half so he could come and get some sleep before he meets my parents for the first time tomorrow. He's just called me to say he's not noticed he time and had too much to drink ( he's been out with his friends in the next city since 1pm for a catch up and he intended on driving to mine and not drinking) I've told him that he's let me down and he knows I'm mad and we finished the call half and hour ago and he's still not even sent a sorry text or anything. Am I right to be mad? Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk Link to comment
mhowe Posted December 30, 2014 Share Posted December 30, 2014 You have a right to be upset...but he isn't meeting your.parents until tmw...so he has plenty of time to get his act together. Link to comment
Qwerty72 Posted December 30, 2014 Author Share Posted December 30, 2014 I just feel like he's lied to me. Why would you not be aware of how much you're drinking?! Why didn't he just say that he was having too much fun and wanted to stay! Ahhhhhhhh so mad. Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk Link to comment
mhowe Posted December 30, 2014 Share Posted December 30, 2014 Because he is celebrating with his mates and lost track of time. How far away does he live? Link to comment
Qwerty72 Posted December 30, 2014 Author Share Posted December 30, 2014 He's gone to see mates about 1 hours drive away. Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk Link to comment
mhowe Posted December 30, 2014 Share Posted December 30, 2014 So he has plenty of time. Are you upset because of who he is with? Link to comment
Qwerty72 Posted December 30, 2014 Author Share Posted December 30, 2014 He's not coming until tomorrow now. He's supposed to be coming here tonight and I had changed my plans for him arriving. So just feel stupid Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk Link to comment
mhowe Posted December 30, 2014 Share Posted December 30, 2014 Change them back. Go out and relax. It is easy to overbook...and over imbibe this time of year. He is being responsible for not attempting to drive. Link to comment
LKDag Posted December 30, 2014 Share Posted December 30, 2014 You absolutely have the right to feel angry at him, but don't let it consume you or anything. Yeah, it was a kind of important thing, but mistakes happen, and everyone makes them. Assuming there isn't a pattern of him ditching you at the last second, or ignoring/forgetting plans, it is what it is. Link to comment
Qwerty72 Posted December 30, 2014 Author Share Posted December 30, 2014 I suppose if I had had an apology or a text since he called to let me know I might not feel as worthless! Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk Link to comment
ThatwasThen Posted December 30, 2014 Share Posted December 30, 2014 At three months you're actually just getting to know this guy. This is your first disappointment. If those disappointments keep happening then I'd say you need to reassess your thoughts on this guy and who you're giving your heart to. As Mhowe says, at this time of year its easier to indulge more then you intended but with this and your other thread about going out with his friend and his ex without you, I'm starting to wonder just how invested this guy is in you? Don't panic, but don't sweep all the negative things he's doing under the rug either. If he meets your parents as planned tomorrow then that should be the positive you concentrate on right now because if he has an inkling that you're going to go all shrew on his (blank) then he may just come up with an excuse to bail on that as well. Cool and calm at this point. Link to comment
jimthzz Posted December 30, 2014 Share Posted December 30, 2014 I'm kinda confused. He isn't going to meet your parents until tomorrow, why was it so important that he sleep at your place the night before? Are you really saying that he was supposed to be intimate with you and he skipped that? Link to comment
mhowe Posted December 30, 2014 Share Posted December 30, 2014 He called to inform you...he didn't stand you up! His plans changed...he isn't blowing you off. I think that at 3 or 4 months...you are a bit possessive and need to be a bit more flexible. Last week I had a long lunch with friends...wine and good food. When I got home I called my bf and said that I wouldn't be coming over for dinner later and to enjoy his "free night". There wasn't a need to apologize. Link to comment
Qwerty72 Posted December 30, 2014 Author Share Posted December 30, 2014 It isn't important that he sleeps at mine he night before for any other reason than that was the plan! I don't make plans and let people down at the last minute. Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk Link to comment
Qwerty72 Posted December 30, 2014 Author Share Posted December 30, 2014 He called to inform you...he didn't stand you up! His plans changed...he isn't blowing you off. I think that at 3 or 4 months...you are a bit possessive and need to be a bit more flexible. Last week I had a long lunch with friends...wine and good food. When I got home I called my bf and said that I wouldn't be coming over for dinner later and to enjoy his "free night". There wasn't a need to apologize. It's not possessive. There has been plenty of times that we decide what we're doing on that day and I'm easy either way, but to let me down at the last minute to me isn't on. Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk Link to comment
mhowe Posted December 30, 2014 Share Posted December 30, 2014 Is it safe to assume he is spending tomorrow night with you? If so...then you need to chill a bit. Life happens...plans can change. Link to comment
jimthzz Posted December 30, 2014 Share Posted December 30, 2014 It isn't important that he sleeps at mine he night before for any other reason than that was the plan! I don't make plans and let people down at the last minute. Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk Take a breath and just go with it. He called you to say he was in no condition to travel. I think you may be overreacting. If this is the worst disappointment yo will experience in yor life, then count yourself as lucky. Link to comment
LKDag Posted December 30, 2014 Share Posted December 30, 2014 The drunk driving part is very true: Would you rather have had him be reckless and possibly endanger himself and/others driving back at less-than-100%? Link to comment
Qwerty72 Posted December 30, 2014 Author Share Posted December 30, 2014 No totally wouldn't want him drink driving. Just would like someone responsible enough to let me know a little earlier Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk Link to comment
mhowe Posted December 30, 2014 Share Posted December 30, 2014 He let you know an hour before he was supposed to show up...meaning he looked at his watch, realized he was supposed to be getting on the road right then...and wasn't in any condition to do so. I don't think he is being mean or irresponsible. As I said in earlier post...it is easy to lose track of time this time of year. At my lunch with gf...we sat down at noon. Had a glass of wine...had a cappuccino... And were getting ready to leave and had paid the bill when her hubby showed up. So he bought a bought a round. I got home at 4pm from lunch. Not normal. Link to comment
1Love1 Posted December 30, 2014 Share Posted December 30, 2014 If this bothers you then you're reallyyyy not going to enjoy married life. Men are forgetful. You have to get used to it or be single forever. Otherwise you'll live in constant disappointment. This is a very minor annoyance in the grand scheme of things. If this is your biggest problem in your relationship then you should be happy Link to comment
MisUnderstood9 Posted December 30, 2014 Share Posted December 30, 2014 You need to take a breath and relax. Loosing track of time, especially while catching up with old buddies is very very easy to do, this time of year or anytime for that matter. Be thankful he called you before he was supposed to be there and not a few hours afterwards and you waiting around. He had the curtosy to see the clock and be like "oh crap, Im supposed to leave now but, I think I drank to much, I should call my girlfriend and tell her I am in no condition to drive tonight". Alot of guys wouldnt have the decency to do that, most would of looked at the clock went, "Oh well, Im drunk cant go now, I'll call her in a bit". Remake your plans and relax. Theres no need to apologize, he gave you losts of warning, he didnt ditch you - plans changed. If you overreact over things like this it's going to make you seem possessive and controlling. Shake it off, let him chill with his buddies and he'll see you tomorrow. Link to comment
agent1607307371 Posted December 30, 2014 Share Posted December 30, 2014 That it's only 3 months in and he already is in the habit of making plans and then letting you down... are you sure you're ready for the meet the parents stage? And when people are casual with your time and effort, yes, you are allowed to be irritated. Link to comment
Qwerty72 Posted December 30, 2014 Author Share Posted December 30, 2014 He's not catching up with old buddies. He was with them last weekend too! But I am just going to chill and relax now and hope to god that it's not a regular thing. Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk Link to comment
Qwerty72 Posted December 30, 2014 Author Share Posted December 30, 2014 That it's only 3 months in and he already is in the habit of making plans and then letting you down... are you sure you're ready for the meet the parents stage? And when people are casual with your time and effort, yes, you are allowed to be irritated. And yes, I thought about this too but he's so perfect on many ways and I do believe he's a good guy. Just really don't wanna get hurt Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk Link to comment
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