larthur1 Posted December 17, 2014 Share Posted December 17, 2014 So I know, I shouldn't be analysing stuff. Put it behind me and all that. However, its a Wednesday. I'm bored and slightly hungover. So I read a thread about someone that had recently spoke to an ex and quite unnecessarily they were hostile. This made me think back to the last sort of contact I had with my ex where she was the same and I just wondered what it was all about? To give you some back ground: She told me she was with someone else over an email. I pretty much stopped talking to her then and there. I got home after travelling and decided I wanted my dog back, of which she said I could always if I wanted too. So I messaged her saying I wanted him back blah blah and then minutes later I got an agreement from her but in a very very hostile way. To the point where I said she didn't need to be so hostile (as I had been very polite and amicable) and that it was very sad that this was how things were after being 'best friends', she agreed and apologised and then said is was partly because she was frustrated and annoyed because I had blocked her on email (which I hadn't, hence we were talking over email) and that she had tried to send me an email 'I would have appreciated' about being friends and it kept failing. Btw this was like 2 months NC after she had told me about 'him'. Why on earth she was even trying to send me that message anyway, I don't know. I know, why don't you me and the new guy all get together for dinner and become best friends! Yay! Link to comment
kbbcoop77 Posted December 17, 2014 Share Posted December 17, 2014 Hahah yeah make sure he pays though and order the lobster Who knows why they want to remain friends, I guess for some support. My ex tried that too but it was just too painful for me so I needed to tell her we're not talking anymore. It was tough but was setting me back every time. Link to comment
larthur1 Posted December 17, 2014 Author Share Posted December 17, 2014 Haha ikr. *sneaks gun under table*. Poor fool IS paying for the lobster right now lol but why the hostility do you think? Link to comment
CraigHowes Posted December 17, 2014 Share Posted December 17, 2014 She is hostile because breakups are tough for both parties. She is hostile because she is hurting and is realising your not a part of your life anymore. Communications after such a major dynamic change will always be difficult. Just stick to talking about the dog and be the stringer person by not snooping to her level and playing her game. Your never going to get everything you want back especially material things after a break up somethings you just have to let go. Link to comment
larthur1 Posted December 17, 2014 Author Share Posted December 17, 2014 She is hostile because breakups are tough for both parties. She is hostile because she is hurting and is realising your not a part of your life anymore. Communications after such a major dynamic change will always be difficult. Just stick to talking about the dog and be the stringer person by not snooping to her level and playing her game. Your never going to get everything you want back especially material things after a break up somethings you just have to let go. Hey buddy. Yeah I know. I have let him go, hard one to swallow that to be honest. Loved my little man. Couldn't have him now with my lifestyle anyway so I had to take the high road. Just sucks because I know I was his 'mummy' if you know what I mean hahaha (lame). what a b****** though, she breaks my heart, ruins our life, home, leaves me ast a time when I needed her support most AND keeps our dog, that I will never see again...there is no justice in the world. I guess that is something. We haven't spoken for an age, this was months ago and it was only that I read a similar story that made me realise I never understood that response from her. I have almost contacted her a few times when drunk but haven't and woke up feeling the better for it each time. Link to comment
CraigHowes Posted December 17, 2014 Share Posted December 17, 2014 Yea i know buddy this world is cruel and sometimes you don't get what you deserve but as long as you've a kind, compassionate and caring person you'll be fine. To quote rocky "Life isn't all sunshine and rainbows. It's a very mean and nasty place and I don't care how tough you are it will beat you to your knees and keep you there permanently if you let it. You, me, or nobody is gonna hit as hard as life. But it ain't about how hard ya hit. It's about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward. How much you can take and keep moving forward. That's how winning is done!" Keep moving forward buddy and get excited about your future you never know who or what is round the corner. Link to comment
sky09 Posted December 17, 2014 Share Posted December 17, 2014 Mine, after months of nc and lc, emailed me her "sorry about how everything ended, never got a chance to tell you..." and said she was hurt for a long time. I could sense her anger when around her (I haven't said or done a single thing) after the bu. I bought it at first, but things she's done since didn't play into her remorse at all. She is seeing somebody else right now, about 3-4 months after the "final" bu. I guess, he took her pain away... Either way, man, anger means there is still some sort of "feeling" out there. Not necessarily a good one, obviously. Indifference is what would tell you she's completely over you and you don't bring anything out of her anymore. Don't torture yourself with these thoughts. Keep on moving on. Link to comment
larthur1 Posted December 17, 2014 Author Share Posted December 17, 2014 Don't torture yourself with these thoughts. Keep on moving on. I'm all good man. I guess its a sign of progress that I can be subjective now. I just find it interesting and also its good to understand all this rubbish so I am better prepared next time (hopefully there isn't one!). I find the whole thing a little odd. I guess its just guilt/remorse. I know my ex told a mutual friend, how can she expect me to forgive her, if she can't forgive herself. To be fair to mine, she also apologised saying that she was sorry for the way it ended and doing what she did and that she would always care for me. But its kind of like me stabbing you to death and saying, "I'm honestly really sorry about that, I just wanted your watch. Im sure the medics will be here soon". Link to comment
DancingFool Posted December 17, 2014 Share Posted December 17, 2014 She was calling the shots and she thought she could string you along and use you as a safety net, but instead you cut the string and walked away with your head held high. You showed her that you have boundaries and a spine. Good for you and keep going. Yes, that will make her mad, but not for any good reason, just feeling like she lost control over you that she didn't expect to lose. That's all. Get your dog back and get on with your life. I wouldn't entertain her any further in any shape or form. Link to comment
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