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" In a box not a bottle" Asperger's revealed


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In 1944, an Austrian pediatrician named Hans Asperger observed four children in his practice who had difficulty integrating socially. Although their intelligence appeared normal, the children lacked nonverbal communication skills, failed to demonstrate empathy with their peers, and were physically awkward. Their speech was either disjointed or overly formal, and their all-absorbing interest in a single topic dominated their conversations. Dr. Asperger called the condition “autistic psychopathy” and described it as a personality disorder primarily marked by social isolation.

 

Asperger’s observations, published in German, were not widely known until 1981, when an English doctor named Lorna Wing published a series of case studies of children showing similar symptoms, which she called “Asperger’s” syndrome. Wing’s writings were widely published and popularized. AS became a distinct disease and diagnosis in 1992, when it was included in the tenth published edition of the World Health Organization’s diagnostic manual, International Classification of Diseases (ICD-10), and in 1994 it was added to the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-IV), the American Psychiatric Association’s diagnostic reference book. However, scientific studies have not been able to definitively differentiate Asperger syndrome from highly functioning autism. Because autism is defined by a common set of behaviors, changes that were announced in DSM-V (which took effect in mid-2013) represent the various forms under a single diagnostic category, ASD.

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Maybe this is a thing in my generation but I literally see red when I see people, mostly people my age, proclaim that they have autism (self diagnosed, entirely). The vast majority have never been to therapy, never taken drugs for it, never had any speech development delays (of course Asperger's doesn't have that) but they also lack the other hallmark signs of autism or Asperger's. No learning issues, and they have social skills to the point that they DO have friends that they made (without social coaching) and most have even dated! They say that they have autism because they are "socially awkward" and have "some weird interests". It makes me want to punch things! It makes me upset because there are many people out there, like your son and my siblings, who have LEGITIMATE autism and struggle with it. People pretending to have autism or deluding themselves into thinking they have because they want to feel like a unique little snowflake cheapens the diagnosis and makes other people skeptical instead of supportive. It's not some stupid social label that you can slap on yourself to make yourself feel "speeecciall". Social awkwardness/anxiety does not = autism. I am actually very awkward at times and I do not have autism. It makes me so angry.

 

Sorry, just having one of those days I guess.

 

BTW, the window decals you posted...I actually do have an autism decal on my car. It's of the rainbow puzzle piece ribbon and it says "autism awareness". It's for my sibs, really. I also have to wear an ID at my job and instead of using the hospital clip like everyone else does, I have a rainbow puzzle piece lanyard. It doesn't say autism on it but most people hear recognize the pattern.

 

I will always be trying to educate others about autism until the day I die.

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On this list are many examples that most people with Asperger's have an enormous ability to forgive and don't carry prejudice or grudges. This is so true for my son. He has never carried a grudge in his life. And he forgives pretty much instantaneously.

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Not pick up on social cues and may lack inborn social skills, such as being able to read others' body language, start or maintain a conversation, and take turns talking.

Dislike any changes in routines.

Appear to lack empathy.

Be unable to recognize subtle differences in speech tone, pitch, and accent that alter the meaning of others' speech. So your child may not understand a joke or may take a sarcastic comment literally. And his or her speech may be flat and hard to understand because it lacks tone, pitch, and accent.

Have a formal style of speaking that is advanced for his or her age. For example, the child may use the word "beckon" instead of "call" or the word "return" instead of "come back."

Talk a lot, usually about a favorite subject. One-sided conversations are common. Internal thoughts are often verbalized.

Avoid eye contact or stare at others.

Have unusual facial expressions or postures.

Be preoccupied with only one or few interests, which he or she may be very knowledgeable about. Many children with Asperger's syndrome are overly interested in parts of a whole or in unusual activities, such as designing houses, drawing highly detailed scenes, or studying astronomy. They may show an unusual interest in certain topics such as snakes, names of stars, or dinosaurs.

Have delayed motor development. Your child may be late in learning to use a fork or spoon, ride a bike, or catch a ball. He or she may have an awkward walk. Handwriting is often poor.

Have heightened sensitivity and become overstimulated by loud noises, lights, or strong tastes or textures. For more information about these symptoms, see sensory processing disorder.

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On this list are many examples that most people with Asperger's have an enormous ability to forgive and don't carry prejudice or grudges. This is so true for my son. He has never carried a grudge in his life. And he forgives pretty much instantaneously.

 

People with Asperger's often have very little or no ability to play mind games because they don't see the point. They're thinking is very black-and-white so they do not play mind games.

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My brother has an amazing capacity to forgive. After that "thing" that happened at his school (I think I messaged you about it, in 2012?), he forgave the professor. Very quickly. He didn't hold any grudges. My parents still hold a grudge against her. I have one too. But not him!!

 

My sister, too.

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My brother has an amazing capacity to forgive. After that "thing" that happened at his school (I think I messaged you about it, in 2012?), he forgave the professor. Very quickly. He didn't hold any grudges. My parents still hold a grudge against her. I have one too. But not him!!

 

My sister, too.

 

Yes, I think you did PM me about that. Yes, they do have an amazing capacity for forgiveness. It is what is so wonderful about them. Me too I have a harder time with forgiveness than he does. They have such beautiful qualities.

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I can hold on to a grudge until I die. It's not a good trait to have. I feel like holding onto hate is something that can kill you but unfortunately I still have a knack for that although I don't have any seething feelings at the moment. I don't know how my siblings do it. How do they do it??

 

I don't mean to sound religious-y (promise I'm not) but there is something in Buddhism called "Buddha nature", about being loving and open to all around you. I feel like my sibs are like that. I am truly not.

 

Seriously, how do they do that?

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could it be because they can more often than many of us not be clouded by motions when making judgements - of course that's a generalisation, and I could be very wrong. when I hear Temple Grandin speak about herself, O sort of melt in aew at her inner beautywhich I am sure would completely baffle her. She wouldn't understand it.

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I can hold on to a grudge until I die. It's not a good trait to have. I feel like holding onto hate is something that can kill you but unfortunately I still have a knack for that although I don't have any seething feelings at the moment. I don't know how my siblings do it. How do they do it??

 

I don't mean to sound religious-y (promise I'm not) but there is something in Buddhism called "Buddha nature", about being loving and open to all around you. I feel like my sibs are like that. I am truly not.

 

Seriously, how do they do that?

I think because they process those emotions differently. And maybe they realized the futility.

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could it be because they can more often than many of us not be clouded by motions when making judgements - of course that's a generalisation, and I could be very wrong. when I hear Temple Grandin speak about herself, O sort of melt in aew at her inner beautywhich I am sure would completely baffle her. She wouldn't understand it.

 

Yeah ,I think they process emotions in a completely different way. I know for sure my son has very deep emotions but he keeps them very close to his chest and processes almost exclusively internally. During this past week we had something pretty devastating happen in our family and it's very personal for him as well. He had a brief period of crying for a few minutes after knowing of the situation and then bottled it all back up. Even at his great grandfather's funeral he didn't cry even though I know he loved him very much. My son's emotions are extremely private. But I know he has very deep ones.

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I just had to cry tonight . I miss my child. Any parent with a child with autism or has a sibling with autism will tell you they " miss" their loved one. My son was typically social until he was 3 and then he disappeared. And I only " see" him about every 4 to 6 months. It is heart wrenching.

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My brother never really developed socially at all, verbal was always fine but socially, he never developed normally. My sister, on the other hand was "normal" in her speech development until maybe 1-2ish, I don't remember the exact age, somewhere in there, I was pretty young then too. All I know is, she went from babbling like her brother to silence and there was only either silence or screaming for years after that. It was like something snatched a part of her away. I feel that's something about autism that really bothers me and it feels very cruel. "Cruel" was the only word that came to mind. When my sister became "sick" (I've said that for years), it was around the time when I started to go to church. My mind was cemented though on the issue and I never believed in God because of my siblings, because I didn't want to believe in a creator that would be so cruel to them. If I did believe, I would be too angry at the world, it was easier to not believe. (Sorry if that offends, that was me at 5-6, seeing my sibs and the pain we all felt). It was just burned in my mind and no one could ever say anything to me to change it and now it's 20 years later and I still feel the same way and I still cry about it. hell I'm crying now. It's something I've accepted because it's how I was affecting by seeing their disorders unfold.

 

So I guess, you are right, I have never "met" my siblings without autism, but I miss them. I miss what they could have been. I've never seen it but I miss it.

 

I'm so sorry Vic. Now you got me crying -hugs-

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Awww honey I am sorry I made you cry. No ,you didn't offend me at all. It is like individual prisons in a way because they are all so different. I just miss so much the reciprocity of conversation. You can have language and be totally unable to build relationships. I would just love to hear a conversation that was not about Yu-gi-Oh.

 

The only time I saw the emotional part of him in 6 month time span is exactly twice. He had an empathetic meltdown at the theatre and the other night due to a disturbing family development. He cried for a few minutes and then he was gone again and was talking about his cards.

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I wonder how to get my son to accept the fact that he will be receiving a disability pension. He states that there are more deserving people in the world for a pension than him. That he's not disabled he's just different. And nobody really owes him anything.

 

Also too he's been having trouble doing his journal for his co-op. Cause they ask him what he feels and what he thinks about certain things these are not discussions that come easy for him. So I have been told that I can scribe his journal for him.

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Will your son be able to work at all in the future and the pension will supplement his income or will he be relying on that solely. I have heard of some Aspies getting "stuck" on the idea of having a disability and so I'm really glad that both your son and my brother don't view themselves as disabled but rather, just different.

 

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The psychologist believes that he will be able to work but it has to be something that he will really enjoy ,his own special niche. He really wants to work. He doesn't want to be beholden to anyone. I think he has picked up on the idea that a government pension is stigmatizing even though it shouldn't be. He knows that his grandpa (my dad )has a disability pension and he sees his grandpa and doesn't like what he sees. So he doesn't want to become that.

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