The road back to happiness

[pfbsurf]

I hear you.

 

In my mind, sometimes a deeply planted root needs a little help getting weeded.

 

Adding in an activity that pulls you forward may help you see a new vision, and may make it easier to eradicate the old.

 

It can be hard to give up a crappy world view (oversimplified, I know) when that is all we have. We can't just be left with a void.

 

The deep issues will remain, but you may gain a stronger support system/internal infrastructure with which to address them.

 

Well I think my worldview is only crappy over the last couple of years, through some of my own choices, and most recently, due to my trust being broken... My whole life I have been pretty positive and optimistic, so hopefully I an get back to that. Trusting? Not likely...

 

I watched a SMART recovery video tonight - sort of an AA alternative. Good stuff. But the guy talked about weeds as a metaphor for addiction - and how they grow so easily... Funny.

[pfbsurf]

couldn't sleep last night. Still fixated on the visuals - still very upset that she lied to me. More upset than when I found out. Started really looking at our relationship and how it was always on her terms - i let that happen. I was so caught up in having a girlfriend, the sex, the companionship. Big mistake.

 

I need to move on, to focus on work, myself and my kids. The good news is that I don't have any interest in dating, and that i'm still not drinking. The bad news is that I'm pretty tired all the time and have a very low mood - the depression.

 

Give it a day or so, get to the gym, stay focused at work. I may need to get off this site. Soon. It has been very helpful - but i am starting to depend on it.

[pfbsurf]

yeah - signing off. Scrambling password (again).

 

Thanks for the support. Wish me luck!

[chr8st8na]

Don't drink, it delays the depression for a later time and it will crash on you. I know because Ive been there. Just stay sober and deal with it and go to the gym. Get outside too and do some activities.