Is it just me or...?

[Cynder]

I know you weren't saying that personally. I have been cussed out here. I've been called names. I've had people PM me to tell me how much they wish I would leave. So, it's a good assumption that I am not exactly popular here. Not to say there aren't people here I get along with. And obviously I'm not letting people's opinions affect me that much. I'm still posting here.

[Cynder]

So.... get some started. Make new friends!

 

I started this one didn't I?

 

Not too long ago I started a thread about people who post alost naked selfies on facebook. It went on for a few pages. No one argued. No hostility that I can remember. But it was closed because the mods "felt it went on long enough." I still don't really understand that.

 

So, I have to wonder if the social decline in OT is partly because a lot of people left and partly because the Mods don't want it to be that way. Idk...

[Cheetarah]

I admit that sometimes I feel like a rebellious child on ENA. Oh, you don't want me to say THIS? Well, I'll get around that.

[Liraele]

I started this one didn't I?

 

Not too long ago I started a thread about people who post alost naked selfies on facebook. It went on for a few pages. No one argued. No hostility that I can remember. But it was closed because the mods "felt it went on long enough." I still don't really understand that.

 

So, I have to wonder if the social decline in OT is partly because a lot of people left and partly because the Mods don't want it to be that way. Idk...

 

Pfft. Don't give up after one try! (Or at all.) You'll find something that will spark some interest. You did here!

[petite]

I know you weren't saying that personally. I have been cussed out here. I've been called names. I've had people PM me to tell me how much they wish I would leave. So, it's a good assumption that I am not exactly popular here. Not to say there aren't people here I get along with. And obviously I'm not letting people's opinions affect me that much. I'm still posting here.

 

That's just crazy. Sometimes people just baffle me. If someone thinks that they should just keep it to themselves I don't see the benefit in telling someone that they wish the person left. Nuts. Honestly, I don't really see anyone as 'popular' here. I think there are people we sometimes relate more to than others, but that happens in real life too.

 

All that said, I do think this place is well monitored. It's a hard job and maybe sometimes it might seem like it isn't fair but it feels much 'safer' than other forums where you can write anything you want and be attacked and bullied without anyone giving a stuff.

I'm on another forum it's very different from this one and man, the swearing, personal attacks, bullying and threats that go on are just too much.

[Cynder]

I admit that sometimes I feel like a rebellious child on ENA. Oh, you don't want me to say THIS? Well, I'll get around that.

 

Lol... you and me both.

[Cynder]

Pfft. Don't give up after one try! (Or at all.) You'll find something that will spark some interest. You did here!

 

I have five pages of potential blog topics. Maybe some of them could also be thread topics, lol.

[Cheetarah]

I know you weren't saying that personally. I have been cussed out here. I've been called names. I've had people PM me to tell me how much they wish I would leave. So, it's a good assumption that I am not exactly popular here. Not to say there aren't people here I get along with. And obviously I'm not letting people's opinions affect me that much. I'm still posting here.

 

That's weird. Why would anyone even take the time to send a PM like that...And do they not realize that the more you tell someone to do something, the less likely they are to do so? haha.

[Cynder]

That's weird. Why would anyone even take the time to send a PM like that...And do they not realize that the more you tell someone to do something, the less likely they are to do so? haha.

 

That happened back when I was in an open relationship. (The PM, I mean.) Posting about an open relationship really pissed a lot of people off on here. I still don't quite understand why. This is a forum for relationship advice. I've always been under the impression that means all relationship advice. Not just idealized, monogamous, traditional relationships.

[Cheetarah]

I think there's an easy explanation for that one.

 

A lot of people have been cheated on in this forum and have limited scopes on non-traditional relationships. I mean, if you go in any thread about infidelity and there's an author of a thread copping to having cheated on their partner, they get ass chewings that make me cringe. People take their anger/baggage out on them, and the shaming...I mean, the SHAMING. Holy crap. Cringe. It can get bad.

 

I don't think ENA is a good place for advice on open relationships, though. Not because I think it's wrong, I think everyone has the right to live their lives as they see fit so long as everything/everyone is safe and healthy, emotionally and otherwise. But because you are just primarily dealing with people in traditional relationships and that creates a roadblock in itself, to understanding. Throw in someone who hasn't healed yet and you could be a target between their misconceptions and rage.

 

I have said that I wish other sections were more active here on ENA but accepted this place is essentially a break-up/dating forum(mostly for traditionalists). Kinda sad. I can always tell who is into personal growth, the same people post on each of my threads

[Cynder]

Yea... misconceptions and rage sums it up pretty well. Not to say I didn't fight back and defend myself. I did that plenty. A lot of my threads were locked from that time. I wasn't just going to sit here and take it from people.

 

Having to constantly explain to people that I am using protection against both pregnancy and STDs got pretty old too. I mean, I post a thread with a question about something, and the whole thread turns into people lecturing me about how "unsafe" I'm being, when I'm not being unsafe and the original question had nothing to do with safety. Apparently there's this stereotype that people in open relationships are just riddled with disease. I've actually never had an STD in my life and I've never been pregnant.

 

At one point I had a husband (who I never slept with and barely even spoke to at that point) a male lover, and a girlfriend. My husband was dating someone else. My male lover was in a long term (open) relationship also. Everyone was fully aware of what was going on.

 

But oh my Gods, the anger from people on here... And the judging too. I had one poster come on practically all my threads to tell me what awful choices I had made and what a mess I've made of my life. Um... college degree, good job, never any problems with substance abuse, no unwanted pregnancies, no trouble with the law, in good health, yet I've messed up my life because I'm in an open relationship? It was really pretty funny looking back on it.