Best of sleeptalking- HILARIOUS!!

[browneyedgirl36]

This thread is hilarious!

 

I had a college roommate who occasionally sleep talked. She was obsessed with a certain major league baseball team, and one time, she sat bolt upright in bed in the middle of the night and yelled out the name of one of their players. Then, she just flopped back over and continued sleeping.

 

My mom has recently begun talking in her sleep. I don't know if it's age, or her medications, or a combination of things, but she says some pretty funny stuff. One time, I was visiting my parents, and at about 2:00 a.m., I could hear her, down the hall. First, it was just unintelligible muttering. Then, all of a sudden, I heard it, clear as day:

 

"[insert Name of My Recent Ex Here]...A**HOLE!!!!!"

 

I'm not lying. She said my ex's name, and then...a**hole. Now, granted, my ex has a pretty common first name, but...my mom doesn't know anyone by that name, at least not anyone she's currently acquainted with. At first I was freaked out -- she startled me awake, after all -- but then...I giggled. And went back to sleep. And we had a really, really good laugh about it the next day.

[mhowe]

That just reminded me...growing up,,whoever got in last (me or bro) had to wake IP one parent and say "all home". They would leave lamp on in their bedroom and we were to shut it off. Now..my parents were known to stay out late themselves...but not as late as us.

 

Suffice to say...the safer bet was to wake mom.

 

So...tap on her shoulder..."mum...its me..we are home."

 

Her: (out of sound sleep)..."hi doll...there is a naked man breaking dishes in the basement".

 

??? OK mom...I will take care of it. I ran from the room laughing.

[Seraphim]

When I was a little kid and if we had a babysitter when my mom returned home she would talk to me in my sleep just so she could find out information. Apparently I would answer . I was still fast asleep though.

[mhowe]

My young cousin was helping her dad stack firewood. They got out of synch as he tossed a log and it blinked her on the head. My aunt/uncle were going to dinner and I was taking the kids to see Star Wars. My aunt told me not to let Julie fall asleep too early...worried about concussion.

 

The kids had only been asleep @ 45 minutes when their folks got home so my aunt went up to check on her daughter. She woke her up.

 

Aunt: Julie...who am I?

Julie: You are mummy and you should know that by now.

 

Julie rolled over and continued sleeping.

[RainyCoast]

hehehehhehehehhhehheee this stuff is good

 

I came accross some new ones on the web:

 

-I said "oh we're running out of strawberries " and my brother who was still awake answered me "do you know you're talking while asleep don't you?" and in a brilliant moment i said "really?! And what am I saying?? "

 

 

-I sleep talk alot and ask my husband questions,one night it was " Have you seen those dolphins? Racist fu**ers took my ball!!" On another occasion I apparently said "I want a divorce" when he asked why I said "because you're a goddamn robot, fu**ing automatons taking over the world and " and kept mumbling about robots.

 

 

 

-I was sleepwalking one time and I went into my parents room and stood infront of their bed. Then i said "this is how you do it" and grabbed their blankets and tossed them on the floor

 

 

-My brother once yelled at the top of his lungs "I cleaned all of it I cleaned everything!"

 

 

-I once got up while sleeping and I walked to the outside door,opened it and said: "you can come in!"

 

-According to my family, once, when we were sharing a hotel room, I sleep-walked over to my father's bed, punched him really hard, and when he woke up yelling, I sat down on the floor, crying and saying: "I'm sorry daddy, I'm sorry, it's the submarine, it's blonde." They had to return me to bed. I remember none of this.

 

 

-My girlfriend says I talk in my sleep as well. Apparently one time I was trying to sell her a Christmas wreath.

 

 

 

-"look under the door, the bunnies are trying to get in" ( OP here, this is odd, i once had a dream about fuzzy bunnies trying to get in under the door! Just without the talking in my sleep)

 

 

-one time someone wanted to wake me up and i was like ''no wait i need to take all these little rocks with me!''

 

 

-"What's the integral of a lemon?" - My gf after a couple of days of intensive math studying

 

 

-Apparently when i was a litle kid I sleepwalked to the living room and asked my dad what he knew of the fourth banana.

[petite]

Okay so y'all that have sleepwalking partners I have a question. How do you sleep? I'm such a light sleeper that if my husband started talking in his sleep I seriously think I wouldn't be able to sleep in the same room.

[mhowe]

I am a very light sleeper ---- he wakes me up when he talks or growls. Luckily, it isn't every night!