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Will I ever find that one person?


DCron199

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Hey everyone.

 

I'm starting to lose hope on ever finding that one person who's right for me because infact I already had found her. I had an internet relationship for 4 months, I thought she was the person I had been waiting for all these years but it turned out it wasn't going to work due to it being distant, she was the first girl who ever made me feel happy, wanted, loved, cared for and now because of losing her I feel I may as well just give up looking. After losing her I feel broken hearted, I can't stop thinking about her, crying over not having her, basically thinking of the fact that she's never going to be mine again and I hate it so much, I felt the need to just kill myself. Throughout my life I've never had a proper girlfriend(not distant), I've never had any sexual experiences and I'm still a virgin at 20 years of age but I've kissed girls.

 

I occasionally go on the odd night out getting drunk, my intention of going out isn't trying to get a girl but to have fun. Everytime I go I always find myself seeing other girls looking at me all the time, whenever I look back they look away but I don't have the confidence to go up to them. I would consider myself to be quite good looking(7/10+) as I've had many many girls tell me I'm really handsome(and my HotorNot rating is 7.90 lol) but that doesn't matter because I lack in confidence which isn't very attractive at all.. It has got to that point for me were I have signed up on some dating websites to at least have a try, the problem for me is I don't know how to even talk to girls properly nevermind a stranger so I've had no luck there at all.

 

I have no luck in real life, no luck on dating websites, I have no confidence so what else can I do?

 

Should I just give up telling myself she's out there?

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Work on your confidence. Its hard work but it can be done. You want to know what you can do...if you want to change your life then work on your confidence. You're 20, you have your whole life ahead of you. You have your whole life to find a girl...the right one.

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"It has got to that point for me were I have signed up on some dating websites to at least have a try, "

- Good, at least on there, you can find someone more 'local'.

But, do make sure you are 'ready' and over this last loss.

 

As for your insecurities, how about some counselling to work on improving this? If you're really lacking and you fear it's going to affect your 'future', you may want to get on this.

Work on your self esteem. YOu have to be more comfortable with yourself in order to be successful in a relationship, otherwise you can become way too needy and/or clingy. That may not go over well.

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I think it might be encouraging to realize that such a thing as "that one person" does not exist. How would it ever be possible to know who that person was?

 

There are merely people with varying degrees of compatibility to each other. Even more importantly, there *are* a lot more than just one of a sufficiently compatible person who you could potentially have a good relationship with.

 

My situation is very similar to yours and I definitely recognize those feelings of doubt you've expressed here. Hell, my first (which came to an abrupt end a month ago) was an internet long distance relationship too, and earlier I even posted about my own doubts of finding another girl I could be happy with.

 

Being an optimist, though, I try now to fight those doubts within me, despite how much I used to think she was "the one" for me. We'll both find someone much better than what our first girlfriends were, I'm sure.

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