Mun Posted January 30, 2006 Share Posted January 30, 2006 I thought we had covered this back on page 64. Steve all this time that you should have been healing and moving on you hardly spent a night alone...did you? I can understand that maybe your ego was bruised after the break up with your ex and all those girls you dated this past year served to bring you some sort of comfort, but if you know you are not giving 100 percent to the current girl then maybe you should let her go. Do the noble thing, not the selfish one, if out of friendship for her...You can always look her up after you have fully healed and are ready that's my suggestion. I hope you do the right thing for yourself and for her... love Link to comment
darkblue Posted January 30, 2006 Share Posted January 30, 2006 It is with a heavy heart that I have to agree with Mun. In the end, it is your choice - and only you know what you are capable of. Link to comment
kate111 Posted January 31, 2006 Share Posted January 31, 2006 I don't think you should break up with her if you care for her. I do suggest you take things very slow with her though. Link to comment
Leges39 Posted January 31, 2006 Author Share Posted January 31, 2006 I have spent the last two nights with her and we have not had sex in a while. i am putting the breaks on at the moment, but i am not ready to call it quits 100% unless that is what she wants. she knows what is going on and i am not using her physically. we hang out and have fun, cuddle, count on each other....i have just backed off of the total intimacy at the moment. Link to comment
Leges39 Posted February 2, 2006 Author Share Posted February 2, 2006 As I feel i am preparing for a breakup with my gf, the ex shows up in my dream last night. Link to comment
darkblue Posted February 2, 2006 Share Posted February 2, 2006 That's probably because your mind is looking for comfort. Have you decided about what you want to do? Link to comment
Leges39 Posted February 2, 2006 Author Share Posted February 2, 2006 Not sure. She hasn't been sending emails or calling leaving messages as she usually has in past. I think she is stepping back. Link to comment
darkblue Posted February 2, 2006 Share Posted February 2, 2006 Isn't that for the best? I suppose it would be her giving you time and space to sort your head out. Maybe you should talk to her about it, or have you done that already? Link to comment
Leges39 Posted February 2, 2006 Author Share Posted February 2, 2006 maybe she would agree to another break, but i am not sure if that is just extending the inedible (sp) Link to comment
Leges39 Posted February 6, 2006 Author Share Posted February 6, 2006 Well, we (new gf) broke up sunday morning. I feel awful! Link to comment
darkblue Posted February 6, 2006 Share Posted February 6, 2006 Oh Steve, Maybe this is what you need to get your own life back on track. You can't tell what the future holds. How did it happen? Link to comment
Leges39 Posted February 6, 2006 Author Share Posted February 6, 2006 We were out saturday night....i was too tired to be out and she really wanted to be out with me, so there was the first issue. she started crying in the booth at dinner and told me she knew at that time it was over. she stayed in my bed that night because neither of us wanted to be alone and in the morning we talked. she feels that i am still with the ex and not with her as she is with me. her dream was that we were together, but the ex was sitting next to me and the ex and i were kissing. that says it all! i feel awlful and i still find myself wanting to reach out to her and feel bad and know how great of a person she really is.....all those things my ex felt about me but at a larger level since we dated for three years and not just three months. Link to comment
Leges39 Posted February 6, 2006 Author Share Posted February 6, 2006 being that this gives me a little glimpse into what the ex probably felt at a higher level of intensity, i feel bad for what she had to go through when she broke up with me. Link to comment
darkblue Posted February 6, 2006 Share Posted February 6, 2006 That must have been really hard to hear her tell you about her dream. Not good at all. Now you have a fresh start, at least. You can gather yourself, and do some soul-searching. You are now your biggest priority. Nothing else matters. No other people to have an emotional investment in. Time to change. Link to comment
Leges39 Posted February 6, 2006 Author Share Posted February 6, 2006 No other people to have an emotional investment in. that is basically what she said. Link to comment
darkblue Posted February 6, 2006 Share Posted February 6, 2006 It could work out better for you. Link to comment
Mun Posted February 7, 2006 Share Posted February 7, 2006 I do hope you take this time to be alone for awhile......... Link to comment
Leges39 Posted February 8, 2006 Author Share Posted February 8, 2006 I will be alone, but not giving up on a quick date here and there Link to comment
fantasia2004 Posted February 8, 2006 Share Posted February 8, 2006 Cpxism how long can you go with this post? Hi and how are you? Gotta go.. class begins soon! Link to comment
Leges39 Posted February 9, 2006 Author Share Posted February 9, 2006 Well, there is one more or so benchmarks. 1. her with a new boyfriend 2. I stop thinking about her (getting better) 3. I am happy again... who knows? we dated 3 years and i am told it will tak 1/2 that time, so soon i hope! Link to comment
SuzyQ Posted February 9, 2006 Share Posted February 9, 2006 You will get over it. Been there. I was with someone for 8 years, and I tried everything to make it work. I wanted different things then he did. I walked away, and well for a few years it was so hard. We have stayed friends and well he has a family now, and I am getting married, and have meet by soul mate, so looking back it was all worth it. Did I learn? Sure its part of growing up. You will be fine, you'll see, keep me posted. Link to comment
1824blue Posted February 10, 2006 Share Posted February 10, 2006 I just read all of your posts on this thread and I can relate to it a bit with one of my past relationships. You mention a few times "She makes me happy" "I make her happy" My thoughts are that it is great to have someone make you happy and vice versa but as soon as you start depending on them for your happiness then the other feels pressure and quite often pulls away. She says she want the old you back? Well I think that means that she wants you to be satisfied with you, be happy with your life as who you are with or without her. In a relationship you don't have two halfs you have two wholes who enjoy sharing their lives together. I have been apart from my exboyfriend for almost 2 years who I had a similar situation with, of me feeling like he needed me for his happiness, I felt over whelmed, honestly it made me run the other direction. He was the best guy ever and I still keep in touch with him, it took him time apart, time being single to turn into the man that I first fell in love with again. Whether it will work out again in the future I don't know but either way I learnt a valuable lesson in not losing yourself in a relationship. If you read my most recent post in Breakups, I am going through the aftermath of a much more unhealthy relationship then yours but non the less I lost myself, become dependent on him and the relationship. take care. Link to comment
Leges39 Posted February 13, 2006 Author Share Posted February 13, 2006 My thoughts are that it is great to have someone make you happy and vice versa but as soon as you start depending on them for your happiness then the other feels pressure and quite often pulls away. In the beginning of that relationship and mostly through it, she was dependent on me....then as soon as she wanted to move out and took control, i was depending on her. Link to comment
Leges39 Posted February 15, 2006 Author Share Posted February 15, 2006 haven't seen her since the letter or about two months.....i have stayed away from mutual friends too which helps....may run into her late next tuesday..... i think of her now on and off, but the thoughts don't come with the rush of emotion they used to. Link to comment
calgaryguy Posted February 15, 2006 Share Posted February 15, 2006 Glad to hear youre doing better friend Link to comment
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