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I would have kicked you to the curb with your baggage a long time ago.

 

No doubt this lady has some class....she is a kindhearted, patient woman and you won't find many like that Steve, I hope you know that.

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Thanks Mun. I can appreciate that. really. she sees qualities in me that she certainly likes and being a therapist, she understands that we are all human and deal with things like this. she knows the sincerity for which i started this relationship and wants to continue it. i just had some very deepseated issues i needed to release.

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If I was you I would take the exes number out of my phone and hide it somewhere where you are not tempted to call her. Also remove any reminders of the ex, put them in a box and hide them away for at least a year.

 

Every time your thoughts start drifting to the ex, tell yourself something along the lines of "its over now, she doesn't want me, i have a new girlfriend now".

 

In the meantime I think you are doing very well with the new girl. Spend some quality time with her, as you are already doing.

 

This new girl is clearly not a "princess" and is very mature. She can handle knowing the truth and can deal with it sensibly. I respect that alot. I believe great relationships can be formed with people like this.

 

Whatever you do, don't jump from being obsessed with the ex to being obsessed with the new girl. If you do, this new girl will detect this and instead of being flattered she will think this is a 'psycho' quality about you. Sleeping on the couch is good. It is good that you took a step away from her after your admission for this reason.

 

You are doing everything right, in my opinion, at this point in time.

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She is pretty special. She is a southern girl who has a masters in counseling and specializes in expressive therapy. She is a great dancer, very cute, and likes to fall a sleep in my arms….she has a dog that is a lot for me, but ultimately important to her. the dog is still kept in a cage due to separation anxiety and it trashing her apartment. I am hoping that stops….or it is doggy downers for her…..she has a cat with the same name as mine…I get along well with the cat. She is also very sexually attracted to me and I am to her. she is the first girl I have been with on the pill (if you know what I am saying) since the ex. We have a lot of the same interests and both would like to travel now and have a family sometime in the future….my friends like her, my family likes her and we have a lot of fun.

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I can't believe this thread has been going for over a year, and CPX is still pining away for his ex. Did you ever think that stopping your participation on this thread might be the one thing you can do to finally get over the ex? Think about how much this thread perpetuates things and keeps you involved with the ex, if only in your own mind...and that's NOT condusive to healing my friend.

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I can't believe this thread has been going for over a year, and CPX is still pining away for his ex. Did you ever think that stopping your participation on this thread might be the one thing you can do to finally get over the ex? Think about how much this thread perpetuates things and keeps you involved with the ex, if only in your own mind...and that's NOT condusive to healing my friend.

 

Im afraid I agree with this.

 

If you can't leave the thread then perhaps the thread should start to focus more on the new girlfriend and your blossoming love story than the ex.

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It might not be pining Darkblue, but read back through the posts of even the past few days and look at how many times the "ex" is mentioned. At the top of this page he is talking about the ex's phone number. If he's got a new girl, that's great! Focus on her and leave the evil ex in the dust by retiring this thread and start a new one about the new girl. Constant comparisons and reminders of the ex isn't healthy! Think about this: How would the new girl like reading CPX's posts on this thread...especially if she picked the story up on here at about the same time she came into his life?

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Think about how much this thread perpetuates things and keeps you involved with the ex, if only in your own mind.
I have and always will use this site as a tool. first, to relay my story. my story about falling in and out of love and back into it again. second, to let people know what i went through to learn from my mistakes and know that a feeling or thought that you may have after a break up is not unnatural, but human....and third, the ex has been there no matter what and i am using this site for advice, because we are "notalone"...

 

Focus on her and leave the evil ex in the dust

i believe that is where i seem to be going now. but no matter what, she will still be in my life until she moves out of chicago and is no longer in my "close" knit of friends.

 

How would the new girl like reading CPX's posts on this thread...especially if she picked the story up on here at about the same time she came into his life?
I wouldn't let her read my diary, would you?
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It might not be pining Darkblue, but read back through the posts of even the past few days and look at how many times the "ex" is mentioned. At the top of this page he is talking about the ex's phone number. If he's got a new girl, that's great! Focus on her and leave the evil ex in the dust by retiring this thread and start a new one about the new girl. Constant comparisons and reminders of the ex isn't healthy! Think about this: How would the new girl like reading CPX's posts on this thread...especially if she picked the story up on here at about the same time she came into his life?

The new girl actually now knows about the ex.

 

This is more of a venting space, and recovery for Cp.

I don't see why it should be stopped, now that he is healing. In fact, it is probably more necessary now than ever.

 

It is also one of the most popular threads on the forum and many people reading it can relate, and learn.

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a die hard romantic here!

 

CP I can relate to your story because I came to this site when I broke up with the ex. Whilst I was still recovering (only one month after our break up) I met a new guy. This was really too early to meet someone new but I couldn't let this gem of a man slip through my fingers.

 

Fast forward two years and i am still with this gem of a man and we live together. When I think of my ex these days I think of our relationship as part of the learning I had to go through in order to become the person I am today.

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Thanks Octopus!

 

Part of the trick to achieving happiness (in my opinion) is appreciating what you have instead of pining for what you don't have. Appreciating somebody and not taking them for granted. Treasuring the love between you and not looking at the grass on the other side of the hill (the grass is greener). Appreciating the small things in life and simple pleasures.

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