Grey Hair -- To Leave or To Color? (Men's input especially wanted!)

[Fudgie]

Those women in that link look really, really pretty.

 

See, as long as you have a flattering haircut (could be long or short) and your hair is in good health (not brittle or breaking off) then what's not to love about grey hair?

 

We have an employee here in the office, a manager, and I love her hair. She is a natural dark brunette but she is going a bit grey. I'm pretty sure she may use a little bit of touch up in terms of dye to make it look pretty cool but I really like how you can see the grey. What helps is that she has a really flattering haircut.

 

Years ago, I met a doctor who went COMPLETELY grey and she looked AMAZING.

 

I want to be a silver fox when I am older!

[Unreasonable]

Yes, but here's the question: does looking older necessarily mean looking WORSE? Is that really synonymous?

Well, let's put it this way. You know all those things that have been genetically programmed into men to look for when selecting mates? Health, child bearing hips, youth? Well, in men, those instincts don't fade as they grow older. I theorize that is because men can procreate much later than women. Their age range increases, of course, but they're always going to find 20-somethings hot (in truth I don't think this is confined to men, but women place more value in other things).

 

This is cross cultural and is NOT a product of the 20th century. It is no urban legend that divorce rate spikes when the children are out of the house, and that when men remarry quite often they go for women significantly younger then they are. Now, we can look down on these men for doing this, but there HAS to be a reason for that. Now, consider this, how often, in men, is it the opposite? That the 45 year old divorcee, when he remarries, goes for a 60 year old woman? Statistically insignificant.

 

We've recently had a phenomenon, that I think is quite healthy and am glad is happening because it evens out the playing field, where older women are doing the same thing. Seeking out younger men. These women , as you know, are called cougars. Now, these women, and I know some, also typically fall into another category: milfs. And I don't need to spell out what that means. They're fit, quite conscious of appearance, and don't look like a typical middle-aged woman. They also don't have gray hair. I believe that this is happening because people simply CAN look younger than they did 30 years ago. Smoking is WAY down, the long term effects of sun exposure is well-known, etc.

 

Now, this is what I will straight up say: If you're a 45 year old woman looking for a 45 year old man, I think your chances will be better if you look younger rather than older. Now maybe you percieve this as shallowness, so, I'm not going to say that "old = worse." But age, or the perception thereof, definitely makes a DIFFERENCE, for better or for worse.

[Unreasonable]

Oh, and I think this "trend" (and I don't know that I can call it that since I've never actually seen it in real life) of 20 year olds dying their hair gray is extremely bizarre, no offense. That's just me though.

[Unreasonable]

Fairly interesting study I read, you can check it out. Scroll down to page 34 for the meat of what we're talking about:

 

link removed

 

I found this snippet particularly pertinent:

 

Both women and men prefer sexually attractive partners, but this preference is consistently found to be more important---a necessity and not a luxury---for men than for women (Buss, 1989; Feingold, 1990; Hatfield & Sprecher, 1995; Li et al., 2002; Oda, 2001). Men’s ratings of women’s physical attractiveness are related to several specific physical traits, including a waist-to-hip ratio (WHR) of 0.7, facial features that signal a combination of sexual maturity but relative youth, body and facial symmetry, and age (Cunningham, 1986; Jones, 1995; Jones & Hill, 1993; Kenrick & Keefe, 1992; Møller, Soler, & Thornhill, 1995; Singh, 1993a, 1993b, 1995b). Body mass index (BMI), a measure of leanness to obesity independent of height, is also associated with rated attractiveness. Hume and Montgomerie (2001) found a negative relation between BMI and the rated attractiveness of women (but not men), such that leaner women were rated more attractive than heavier women.

[tiredofvampires]

Thanks for your responses, Unreasonable. I'm enjoying your input, and I'll respond more later (and after I've had a chance to look at the study).

 

I'm not necessarily disagreeing with you, on the hard-wiring genetics issue. Though I'd like to elaborate on that a bit...

 

I would be interested in your feedback to the questions I presented, and the pictures in post #70 (and you can incorporate the whole "genetic drives" issue into this question of, how are these women stacking up against their younger, hair-pigmented competition.)

[Ms Darcy]

Well, let's put it this way. You know all those things that have been genetically programmed into men to look for when selecting mates? Health, child bearing hips, youth? Well, in men, those instincts don't fade as they grow older. I theorize that is because men can procreate much later than women. Their age range increases, of course, but they're always going to find 20-somethings hot (in truth I don't think this is confined to men, but women place more value in other things).

 

Now, this is what I will straight up say: If you're a 45 year old woman looking for a 45 year old man, I think your chances will be better if you look younger rather than older. Now maybe you percieve this as shallowness, so, I'm not going to say that "old = worse." But age, or the perception thereof, definitely makes a DIFFERENCE, for better or for worse.

 

I think this is very well said. It sounds like the bottom line is that given the choice between an older looking woman, with great/stylish grays, and a younger looking woman (assuming they are comparable and both the same age), a lot of men will go for the non-gray one because she looks younger.

 

I am not a guy, but if I think of omen I'd sleep ith they aren't gray haired. They can be older, but I haven't seen a gray-haired woman I ould feel attracted to. I feel like they can look great, but that's different from attraction. I'm not a straight man though - so my input has little validity.

[ParisPaulette]

Well, if you look like the model Cindy Joseph she is absolutely stunning with her salt and pepper hair. If you have that woman's coloring and looks then I think pulling off silver streaks is much easier to do. And if the streaks are platinum or silver and they compliment your coloring then yes go for it provided you can work the colors into an overall hairstyle.

 

That said there are a few things I've found as an older woman that are key if you start to go gray. Finding and maintaining a great haircut is a necessity. Anyone can look great with bedhead when you're younger, heck I think there were times I didn't even bother with a brush when I was in my 20s. But what once looked sexy and tousled in a Brigitte Bardot at the beach sort of way just suddenly looks sloppy and disheveled as you get older. Also invest in a few hair products to tone down brassiness if you decide to keep the gray--I use Blue Malva products by Avena or Pravana Purelights shampoo and conditioner. I have blonde hair with silver and white streaks through it, so yeah I'm able to cheat. It just looks streaked and only I and my hairdresser know it's not done that way on purpose if you see me in person. I've been allergic to hairdye since my mid-40s, so I can't die it and had to find another way to live with the gray. For me investing in products that killed any brassiness helped tremendously along with a great hairstyle.

 

Whatever you do avoid dying your hair all one matte solid color. That makes one look harsh and can age you far more than the gray, so make sure you get a good colorist who can weave in a few lighter pieces or highlights to break up the solid color of your hair if you do dye it. And that's not a job I'd recommend you try by yourself, at least not the first time. I did that and did not have a good experience years ago when I was still able to dye my hair.

[tiredofvampires]

I think this is very well said. It sounds like the bottom line is that given the choice between an older looking woman, with great/stylish grays, and a younger looking woman (assuming they are comparable and both the same age), a lot of men will go for the non-gray one because she looks younger.

 

I am not a guy, but if I think of omen I'd sleep ith they aren't gray haired. They can be older, but I haven't seen a gray-haired woman I ould feel attracted to. I feel like they can look great, but that's different from attraction. I'm not a straight man though - so my input has little validity.

 

So I'll ask you the same question as I asked Unreasonable -- NONE of the women I posted in post #70 and after that could be sexually attractive in your opinion? (Not that those particular women might be your cup of tea, haha...but you said you haven't seen *a*/any grey-haired woman you would be attracted to...like, at all...none of those women look pretty/feminine/sexual/sexy to you?)

 

I know what you mean by that sentence in bold, though. But let's probe that a little further: someone can "look great", but that doesn't make you want to sleep with them. Totally, I agree. In fact, I can think of some legendary beauties (of both sexes) who have that perfect statuesque, timeless beauty that is far and away beyond "attractive". They're stunning -- but are they "attractive" in the way you're saying?

 

Putting on my guy "hat" alongside you (and let's face it, we women are allowed, we judge other women's "bed-ability" [to downgrade itsallgrand's word to an "R" rating ] amongst ourselves all the time -- something straight men don't allow themselves to do!):

 

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That's Grace Kelly...eternally considered beautiful. A. Beautiful. WOMAN. But...do you look at that and think (keep your guy "hat" on!), "Wow, I'd bone that!"? Maybe I'm hopelessly not a guy to even don their hat, but for me, that's not my idea of bone material. Beautiful? Yes. "Attractive"? Yes...but attractive how? She's clearly young, and I'm sure if that weren't a black and white photo, we'd see her blond hair. Beautiful, blond...and still, I'm not seeing bending her over the kitchen sink and giving it to her hard, you know?

 

This is kind of fascinating to me. As even better illustrations of what I'm talking about, here are two famed celebrities who have let themselves go grey, and are celebrated for being beautiful and attractive as in STILL HOT -- not RELATIVELY (for their age), but ABSOLUTELY (for any age), even with grey hair. And not DESPITE the grey, but INCLUDING the grey.

 

And in both these cases -- which may be admittedly rare, but these are good examples anyway, because they're people -- I'm trying to put my guy hat on again to decide when they looked more sexy-attractive. As in, more than just "great style".

 

I know this is super highly subjective, but here's my take:

 

Helen Mirren (younger):

 

image removed

 

Helen Mirren (older):

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(continued in next post).....

[tiredofvampires]

EmmyLou Harris (younger):

image removed

 

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EmmyLou Harris (older):

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[tiredofvampires]

^(those thumbnails I can't rid of are so annoying...)

 

 

So the question is: when these ladies aged enough for their hair to go white -- and both of them are attractive to start, I think most people would generally agree -- did they lose their sex appeal?

 

Or did it in fact even grow, grey and all?

 

Am I the only one who thinks both of them got HOTTER with age, the grey hair (even signifying older age) detracting absolutely nothing from their appeal?

 

I'm putting on my guy hat, and amazingly, I'd bone either of these ladies with their grey hair before I'd bone Grace Kelly in her prime.

 

As I would pass over their younger selves.

 

The GILF's win....

 

What say you, Ms Darcy? Anyone? Guys? ... (and yeah, I'm sure the male age demographics will affect responses, but especially those men in the age range Unreasonable is saying are looking for women who look younger than them and their own grey hair, lol)

[tiredofvampires]

I am not a guy, but if I think of omen I'd sleep ith they aren't gray haired. They can be older, but I haven't seen a gray-haired woman I ould feel attracted to.

 

Also, not to keep picking on you, but does that mean that once a married woman grows grey, if you were her husband, you wouldn't feel like having sex with her anymore? Unless she colored her hair?

[poetryandlyrics]

With my "guy" hat on or my "qu33r" (I'm not even sure why this is a "bad" word, it's certainly not in the gay community, but anyway...) hat on... I wouldn't really go for Grace Kelley up there. Not my type. So you'd have to also factor in the type as well. She's attractive, yes, but not for me. As for EmmyLou (forgive me if I spelled it wrong, I'm trying not to scroll up and down that much), I think the younger one is... Pretty, yes, but maybe awkward or almost like it... That the older her seems more attractive, in tune (less awkward), appealing. I'd go for that one more.

[Seraphim]

link removed

 

That is probably about how white I am if I didn't dye my hair. And her whiter streaks in the front is about how stark white my hair is.

[tiredofvampires]

Well, if you look like the model Cindy Joseph she is absolutely stunning with her salt and pepper hair. If you have that woman's coloring and looks then I think pulling off silver streaks is much easier to do. And if the streaks are platinum or silver and they compliment your coloring then yes go for it provided you can work the colors into an overall hairstyle.

 

I'd never heard of her, but I agree! (yeah, Vic!)

 

The thing is...what I'm gathering people are saying here is that you could "look great" or even "stunning" but that that doesn't translate into SEX APPEAL.

 

I can certainly understand looking through 20-something eyes how this looks ancient enough not to view as sex material. But even when I was in my 20's, REALLY GOOD-LOOKING men, with good bone structure and expression could look sexy to me in their 40's-50's.

 

And certainly, mature men, I almost feel shouldn't have a whole lot of excuse to dismiss such good looks JUST for the grey...genetic wiring notwithstanding, because we are more complex creatures than just those primal drives (that's my critique for you, Unreasonable!)

 

That said there are a few things I've found as an older woman that are key if you start to go gray. Finding and maintaining a great haircut is a necessity.

 

Thank you for these tips and also the product recommendations, I'll definitely have a look into those.

 

I think this is becoming clear as the consensus: that style plays a huge role in this. Which I guess will be the challenge, because even though I've had my long hair cut on an irregular basis when I'm getting tired of it all growing out, I'm taking from this thread that I might have to keep it up more frequently. The tough thing for me is that I'd almost have to change my whole personality and lifestyle as a low-maintenance person...after a shampoo and condition, the most I feel like doing is putting some leave-in conditioner in. But I don't put stuff in my hair each day to give it "hold" or anything. I don't even like the feel of product in my hair. I just don't want to have to put an hour into my hair everyday...not even a half hour...okay, not more than 15 minutes, ha. Unless there's a special way I want to fix it for an occasion. So is it like, I'll look like crap if I don't do x amount?

 

And yeah, I agree that the hair should not be all one color -- I don't know if you saw any of the posts on henna dye, but that's a non-toxic, natural botanical way of coloring your hair, so it's a lot less likely to cause a reaction (though you should always test). One of the good things about henna is that it creates a more varied color palette than the synthetic matte hair color...something I'll never do. I've seen that look and it's just flat and dull.

[tiredofvampires]

link removed

 

That is probably about how white I am if I didn't dye my hair. And her whiter streaks in the front is about how stark white my hair is.

 

And you think she looks bad? Ancient and not pretty? (she's got a lot older looking face than yours, too.) If you looked like her, you'd feel bad about the way you look?

 

I tried really hard to find a pic that approximates how much silver is in mine...but it's hard, because almost all these pictures are far, far more grey/white than mine. And like I said, once it's almost solid, and all shades of silver, it looks good to me. It's the twilight I'm feeling not crazy about...

 

This is the closest one I found. This is the pattern. (pulling the hair up and back exposes the most silver.) But again, for practicality, I like to keep my hair out of my face on a day-to-day basis!

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[tiredofvampires]

With my "guy" hat on or my "qu33r" (I'm not even sure why this is a "bad" word, it's certainly not in the gay community, but anyway...) hat on... I wouldn't really go for Grace Kelley up there. Not my type. So you'd have to also factor in the type as well. She's attractive, yes, but not for me. As for EmmyLou (forgive me if I spelled it wrong, I'm trying not to scroll up and down that much), I think the younger one is... Pretty, yes, but maybe awkward or almost like it... That the older her seems more attractive, in tune (less awkward), appealing. I'd go for that one more.

 

Yeah, I agree the younger EmmyLou doesn't look as comfortable in her own skin...it's like her features came of age in a GOOD way when she got older.

 

Sorry about all the scrolling, lol.

[Ms Darcy]

Also, not to keep picking on you, but does that mean that once a married woman grows grey, if you were her husband, you wouldn't feel like having sex with her anymore? Unless she colored her hair?

 

No orries. I sa the omen you posted in posts 70 and 84. The omen ith hite hair in 70 did nothing for me. Helen Mirren is interesting because she had a shapeshifter ook in her youth. In some pics, she looked very akard (like the one above). In others, she looked gorgeous and refined. Older Helen Mirren is attractive, but I don't feel like I ould be attracted to her. EmmyLou Harris is a no for all ages. I thought her teeth ere too rough hen she as younger. And then the hite hair on the bottom makes her look old to me. I like the second one from the bottom of EmmyLou because her hair kinda looks lavendar.

 

So now we know I have a thing about teeth and hair!

 

Just as with most things regarding attraction, the rules of the game change when you commit to someone. I'm only talking about who I am attracted to ... would want to have sex with. It's a different ballgame if I fall in love and want to commit. That process of dating for a few years and then creating the future together is a bonding experience. Your loves grows with their growth and if they change, within reason (e.g. don't gain 100 pounds) that doesn't dent your love.

 

I'll give a beloved older family friend as an example. He as married to his wife for 30 years before she died. She as a model or something when they got together. She died very obese and yet he loved her immensely. At 50-something, he starting dating again. His new girlfriends were all 30-40 and very young, petite looking. I don't think it as any disrespect to his dead wife ... but as he as out looking again he was starting from a place of attraction and hoping to grow the bonding from there.

[lerenard]

I am 24 now, and I first noticed gray when I was 17-18. This runs in my family - my aunt also had gray hair very early, and my granny too.

I always colored my hair, since I was 15, so I noticed the amount of gray only now, when I stopped abusing my hair. I have maybe 10-15 white hairs in the front. My natural hair color is very dark, so they are noticeable. I plan to grow them out, and have that Rogue look from x-men)

 

I do look really young. People think I am 16)) And because this Rogue look is kind of IN right now, nobody thinks these are actually natural gray hair.

[Seraphim]

And you think she looks bad? Ancient and not pretty? (she's got a lot older looking face than yours, too.) If you looked like her, you'd feel bad about the way you look?

 

I tried really hard to find a pic that approximates how much silver is in mine...but it's hard, because almost all these pictures are far, far more grey/white than mine. And like I said, once it's almost solid, and all shades of silver, it looks good to me. It's the twilight I'm feeling not crazy about...

 

This is the closest one I found. This is the pattern. (pulling the hair up and back exposes the most silver.) But again, for practicality, I like to keep my hair out of my face on a day-to-day basis!

image removed

No ,I don't think she looks bad or ancient not at all. I think she's a beautiful woman for her age . I think she's in her 60s ,yes?

 

I just don't think it would look any good on me. But it could be that I have been very brainwashed by society.

[Unreasonable]

REALLY GOOD-LOOKING men, with good bone structure and expression could look sexy to me in their 40's-50's.

This phenomenon is addressed in the same study I linked before under the "Women's mate selections" section (starting at page 29).

 

Here's a snippet:

 

Women prefer men who are somewhat taller than average, and have an athletic (but not too muscular) and symmetric body shape, including a 0.9 waist-to-hip ratio (WHR), and shoulders that are somewhat wider than their hips (Barber, 1995; Beck, Ward-Hull, & McClear, 1976; Cunningham, Barbee, & Pike, 1990; Gangestad et al., 1994; Hatfield & Sprecher, 1995; Oda, 2001; Pierce, 1996; Singh, 1995a). The facial features that women rate as attractive include somewhat larger than average eyes, a large smile area, and prominent cheek bones and chin (Barber, 1995; Cunningham et al., 1990; Scheib, Gangestad, & Thornhill, 1999). These physical traits appear to be good indicators of genetic variability (which is important for disease resistance), a lack of illness during development, and current physical health (Barber, 1995; Thornhill & Gangestad, 1993). For instance, the development of prominent cheek bones and a masculine chin is related to androgen levels and androgen/estrogen ratios during puberty (Fink & Penton-Voak, 2002; Tanner, 1990). Chronic illness during this time can suppress androgen secretion, which would result in the development of less prominent cheekbones, a more feminine-looking chin, and, as a result, lower rated physical attractiveness (Thornhill & Gangestad, 1993).

 

I'll give some feedback on post #70 but I just wanted to throw that out there.

 

Now back to your question of what the difference is between "looking great" and "sexually attractive." I think, the difference between a man and a woman looking at an older, gray woman with a nice-looking face, is the woman will say "She looks great!", and the (typical) man will say "She looks great!" with perhaps the unsaid addition of "for her age." If he's a less tactful man, he will actually say that. Or he might say "She looks great! I bet she was a hottie/model/etc. when she was young." As you can see, these are not the same thing as sexually attractive, and could be taken as inadvertently insulting.

 

Also, I think, and the study supports, that men are less picky when it comes to picking a woman for a short term vs a long term relationship.

 

But I'll get to #70 (and other pictures seen) in a bit.

[ParisPaulette]

Well, but you can be sexy. I know that in my early 40s interest from most men dropped off and I was dying my hair red at the time. My hair was dry all the time and I just didn't look that great. After the allergy response to hair dye (my face swelled to twice it's size and I landed in the ER) my hairdresser and I had to figure out what I could do instead. I won't lie and say the transition was easy, I looked like hell for a better part of the year while I used vegetable-based dyes sparingly and my hairdresser kept my hair short. Also thank the lord for hats. And then I was blonde again, my natural color, with white and silver streaks. My hair was healthy, shiny and suddenly it was raining men. Of course, then I met my last ex and that didn't go so well, but I have to say going back to my native color and letting nature turn my hair into the platinum color I used to have to burn the heck out of my scalp to get as a teenager is a blessing. And yes, men did and do continue to find me sexy with that hair.

 

I saw the picture where you show the gray that's closest to your own. Again if you have the coloring I think you can pull the streaks off just fine, but go see a good hairstylist about what to do to play it up or enhance your attractiveness. You don't necessarily have to dye it all away, you can do it in silver streaks and that is sexy. My mom had that when I was a teenager and I used to get really embarrassed by how many men reacted to her and even my friends would say, "Your mom is a looker." (They didn't say hot back when I was a teen) While it's true that many people respond to youth as you get older I think it only really becomes a problem if you're into attracting younger/superficial people. We all know that trying too hard to look young in a false way actually makes one look worse ala the bad dye jobs and/or the plastic surgery gone wrong. Whatever you do enhancing what you already have is the way to go.

 

And if it makes you feel better I've given you a link to an article I read a few years back in More Magazine about a woman who decided to go gray instead of continuing to dye her hair. link removed. I'm a subscriber to More and love it, because it's geared toward older women and full of positive messages about how being older doesn't mean we stop being sexy, smart or ready to embrace a whole new life. And I'm not being paid to say that, I just really like the magazine.

 

My own hair coloring looks very similar to this model's hair color.

[Catherine_3]

I tried really hard to find a pic that approximates how much silver is in mine...but it's hard, because almost all these pictures are far, far more grey/white than mine. And like I said, once it's almost solid, and all shades of silver, it looks good to me. It's the twilight I'm feeling not crazy about...

 

This is the closest one I found. This is the pattern. (pulling the hair up and back exposes the most silver.) But again, for practicality, I like to keep my hair out of my face on a day-to-day basis!

image removed

 

Oh my god, TOV, is that you?!? You are so pretty!!! I love the hair. Love it!!!

[Ms Darcy]

No worries. I saw the women you posted in posts 70 and 84. The women with white hair in 70 did nothing for me. Helen Mirren is interesting because she had a shapeshifter look in her youth. In some pics, she looked very awkward (like the one above). In others, she looked gorgeous and refined. Older Helen Mirren is attractive, but I don't feel like I ould be attracted to her. EmmyLou Harris is a no for all ages. I thought her teeth were too rough when she as younger. And then the white hair on the bottom makes her look old to me. I like the second one from the bottom of EmmyLou because her hair kinda looks lavendar.

 

The keys on my keyboard are very tempermental. I fixed the paragraph above!

[Unreasonable]

Okay, going back to post #70. First of all, I'm a married man. So, my lens is going to be slightly different than a single guy looking for a quick lay or another long term relationship.

 

First of all, I want to preface that there's a certain type of woman, that I would say "have potential." These are women that have exceptionally attractive features in a certain area, usually face, that I would probably have sex with, but perhaps not a long term relationship. They have something holding them back from that. Bad hair, obese, unflattering glasses, bad dressers, etc. They are not someone I would probably have a long term relationship with. And that's because I don't want to change people, or criticize, or anything like that. I think if you are going to go all in, you should accept people as they are. Some men are not like that. They'll flat out say "Dye/grow your hair/lose the tight perm, lose weight, get contacts, your clothes look hideous, etc." I'm not like that. So they would remain "potentials," with me wishing they'd change that one thing about themselves that (with the exception of weight) are easily fixable.

 

Secondly, something is problematic with these pictures. These are obviously models or former models. So, this is automatically going to skew wonky than an average looking woman with the exact same hair. It's like the "pixie cut" thing we were talking about in another thread I believe. Pixie cuts are relevant in this discussion since it's a hair thing. Women look at Natalie Portman and say "Oh, that pixie cut looks SOOO cute, I want one" without taking into account that they aren't Natalie Portman. She's one of the few women in the world that can pull that off. Ginnifer Goodwin is another pixie cut girl. I know some people will disagree, but I just don't think she looks as good with a pixie cut as she does with her natural long hair. She doesn't have the spritely features Natalie has. So, your mileage will vary even on undeniably beautiful people.

 

So, to the specifics:

 

My first impression of the first women on #70: Wow, she'd look just like Cameron Diaz if she dyed her hair blonde.

 

Second woman: Why did she DO that?

 

Third woman: Wow she's pretty ("for her age"). "If she dyed her hair it would probably take 20 years off her!" That fact would nag me in the back of my mind.

 

Yes, I would have sex will all of these women, obviously. They're friggin models with rocking bodies.

 

#71. That honestly looks more blonde than gray.

 

#72 Not Hathaway: I probably wouldn't notice this woman walking down the street.

 

#83 Grace Kelley: Not a good example. People automatically colorize b/w photos in their minds. If I didn't know who Grace Kelley was, I'd still automatically assume she was blonde.

 

#83 Hellen Mirren: Other than the fact that she's done "sexy" roles, I have never gotten why people consider her so hot. Not my type and never has been.

 

#84 EmmyLou Harris: If I didn't know her, I'd say she looked like a rich old lady that's obviously had work done.

 

#88 She looks like a former model, could definitely still pull off coloring and I think benefit from it.

 

#90 Don't like "half root" hair so that's kind of tainted, and you can't really see her face.

[ParisPaulette]

I think this is becoming clear as the consensus: that style plays a huge role in this. Which I guess will be the challenge, because even though I've had my long hair cut on an irregular basis when I'm getting tired of it all growing out, I'm taking from this thread that I might have to keep it up more frequently. The tough thing for me is that I'd almost have to change my whole personality and lifestyle as a low-maintenance person...after a shampoo and condition, the most I feel like doing is putting some leave-in conditioner in. But I don't put stuff in my hair each day to give it "hold" or anything. I don't even like the feel of product in my hair.

 

Agreed. I'm very low-maintenance when it comes to hair and like I said when I was younger I could, and did, get away with letting it just wave and bounce around and I did just fine with my longer wild mane. As I got older though that became less and less of an option. So I went to my hairdresser took a few inches off, still keeping it long enough to tie back, because I own a ranch and let's face it--I am not going to curl and use hairspray when I'm out mending a fence or feeding the chickens. I'm just not. I use the purple shampoo and conditioners several times a week to keep the color looking nice, I trim my own ends thanks to my wonderful hairstylist who showed me how, and I did invest in a really good moisturizer for the hair. That's pretty much my maintenance level. I go see him maybe every three months, many times much longer, but my hair doesn't grow quickly so that may be an added factor in why I'm able to maintain a style for so long without having to go see anyone.

 

I do own a flat-iron and will do the ends of my hair if I need a bit of polish and going into town. It takes all of two minutes to do and I love that. Otherwise no, I'm still not high-maintenance, I just adjusted the products I use now accordingly and keep my hair trimmed. It still beats the heck out of the maintenance I was having to do when I was dying my hair on a regular basis. Not to mention the smell of the hairdye, LOL.

 

As to the whole sexiness thing I think it really depends on whether or not you look good for being you and on the guy involved. And that's a matter of personal preference as much as anything. I say work with what you have and the rest will fall into place one way or another.