InkedBrunette Posted March 27, 2014 Share Posted March 27, 2014 I am 31, he was 58. All was fine for a time. Then he started getting mean, and it would later turn out that he was cheating on me with a 24yo. He denied everything until he realized he had it all over instagram and there was no running. Then he blocked me vs explaining to me. I've since changed my phone number, my email - everything so he can't get back into contact with me (this is break up number 2 over this) My question isnt so much the pain. I'll deal. But for the older women... how do you deal with being left for a younger woman. What a blow to my ego. I'm only 31, and I was cheated on with a 24yo that was his ex gf before me... he always complained about how immature she was, she was a gold digger etc - but he sure took her back fast. He didnt dump me, I walked away today and left him a simple goodbye email.. but my god the pain... and I just feel horrible that I was too old.. lol for a 58 yo man. That really plays with the psyche Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
milly007 Posted March 27, 2014 Share Posted March 27, 2014 You weren't too old for him; he just wasn't worth your time. The feelings you're experiencing right now will suck, but eventually you'll look back and think, "I'm so glad a I ditched that guy, and thankfully I found out that he was an a## when I was only 31 and not married to him!". Trust me, the fact that you found out now is a good thing. That said, this guy isn't worth another thought. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Capricorn3 Posted March 27, 2014 Share Posted March 27, 2014 Be thankful you dodged a bullet. I'd be more concerned with an almost 60 year old guy messing with such very young women - seems to have a history of going after young women. You did the right thing. Move on, you can do a lot better. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shellyf62 Posted March 27, 2014 Share Posted March 27, 2014 My Ex had an affair with his 19 yr old co-worker. He was 38, I was 35. She was only 5 yrs older than our son. It tore my heart out too, and my self esteem was shot to hell. It took me a long time to get over the trust issues, and realise not all men are cheats. Good for you for walking away, I threw my ex out & it was the best thing I ever did. He is now alone as she had an affair with her new boss....lol Karma is amazing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Feast Posted March 27, 2014 Share Posted March 27, 2014 This guy seems really messed up to me. Seems like his trophy girl is as young as possible, what's he going to do next, troll the local high schools? Sure, maybe we went for the younger girl but why do you care, why buy into his messed up, screwed up logic? You are NOT old, you have plenty of time. BTW, How was this going to work in ten years? 20 years? Why date so far outside of your age? I'm imaging this guy must be like the "most interesting man alive" from the Dos Equis commercials, why would such younger women be attracted to him. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ParisPaulette Posted March 27, 2014 Share Posted March 27, 2014 Look, when someone cheats on you I don't think age plays a factor in it. I don't think how they versus you look, I don't think anything you do, say or are plays a factor in it. Because it's not you who are lacking something, it's the cheater. From your description I don't think he cheated on you with a younger woman, because she was younger. He cheated on you with her, because he already had previous experience with her and has been keeping her on the back burner all along. And she's too young at this point to realize she could likely do a lot better than put up with a cheater who's already nearly 60. You both could actually. He didn't cheat on you with her, because of age. He cheated, because that was his intention all along and she was there and has been in contact with him likely for the entire time you both were together. If you were to stay in touch with him (don't) then sooner or later he'd be cheating on her with you simply because each of you is there and you let him. It's normal to try rationalize why cheaters or other people do hurtful things, but you're wasting your time because there isn't any logic to be had there. The chances are pretty good he's going to cheat with any willing woman and age won't factor into it except maybe if he seeks really young women out because they're easier to impress and manipulate. Or that he's terrified of the fact that he's getting old and is trying to convince himself otherwise by seeking out both you and her as younger women. Keep in mind at one point he had left her for you too. The problem is within him, it's his own issues, not any reflection on you in any way really except that it's likely you missed some pretty big red flags at some point or another, or saw them and tried to not see them. I think that's something most of us have done at one point or another. Be glad you've dodged the proverbial bullet, go full NC, toss the idea that his cheating is any fault of your own and you'll be fine. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mesemene Posted March 27, 2014 Share Posted March 27, 2014 Just know that, with ANY guy who has to cheat to stoke his ego, it's not about you, it's about him. His insecurities, his ego, his shortsightedness. You could be perfect, and if he has those issues - it wouldn't matter. It was never about you. Pity the 24 year old ex-now-current and soon to be ex again girl - she doesn't have the experience to see the warning signs and run from this walking minefield. Until he resolves whatever is driving him, nobody will satisfy him for long - apparently he has something to prove to himself. You don't want to be part of that mess. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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