Conflicting Advice

[Chuckyd123]

Right now I'm on NC with my ex. She's out living it up and it hurts. I'm trying not to hear or see anything about it. It's documented on here as I've been posting a lot lately. We broke up and for a few months she contacted me to reconcile and I wouldn't, then when she gave up I tried to reconcile with her and she wouldn't. After she told me it's over I asked if there was any chance we could be together in the future and she said I can't answer that. She small talked a bit and I would only respond to positives. It's been 15 days NC. I hope it can work someday but what mind set do I need to be in? I've heard if you want her back you have to think like she wants you back so that when you do see her you will be confident. And I've also heard you can't think that way because it will give you false hope. Thoughts?

[Brokenheart99]

i think its more of you have to let it go all together and move on and heal and get over each other entirely and live your lives. and maybe way far in the future, you can visit the idea of reconciliation. 15 days is too soon, you are not healed. starting from where you are now, will only lead to you two breaking up again because nothing has changed. i used to always try and get my ex to work things out when we broke up, because at that point i couldnt see past the hurt of missing him and being broken up. i just wanted us back together, no matter what. and he always just said "what's changed?" he was right unfortunately, nothing has changed so why wouldn't the course of the relationship run the same course? i think the same applies here as well. for now, accept you two broke up and there is no reconciliation. she's moving on, you should really try to too.