laninaperdida Posted March 26, 2014 Share Posted March 26, 2014 I play on an adult (21-50, lol) co ed soccer team. There are 3 groups & we play in the most competitive. (There are retired as well as current high level players... A few even played in the MLS.) It's not just a bunch of people showing up to kick a ball around is what I'm getting @, lol. We're currently in playoffs & we have a decent chance of winning the entire league... if it weren't for a few players. The only reason we've come so far with said players is because the team decided to compensate for the weaker players which put as @ risk of not advancing. For example, our goalie is simply not very good so we stack the defense as in our best players are back there so the goalie doesn't have to do much. This is an issue because if a shot is taken it pretty much goes in 99% of there time. This approach will no longer work with the team we're about to play. We can't cover a key position like net or We'll lose. Are we out of line to ask hee to step done & let her replacement (a top goalie who should have played that spot from the beginning but was too nice to take her spot )? Of the 15 players 12 want her gone. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Batya33 Posted March 26, 2014 Share Posted March 26, 2014 I suppose it's ok other than you're changing the purpose of the team from just casual fun to more intense competition so the person might be more than a little surprised to hear this. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kattie Posted March 26, 2014 Share Posted March 26, 2014 It really depends on the culture of the league and this level of competitive team. You could ask her how she feels about playing in the upcoming game. Perhaps, for the benefit of the team, she will volunteer to step aside. Touchy issue. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DancingFool Posted March 26, 2014 Share Posted March 26, 2014 Chances are that her feelings will get hurt either way if the team is this competitive and not really playing for fun. It's more about which is the lesser evil - her feeling upset about getting benched for the big game or you all losing the game and blaming her even if you don't quite say it directly. On the other hand, she is probably not totally oblivious and might be happy or even relieved at not having to deal with the pressure or feel responsible in case you all lose. In the future, if you have multiple players for a position, it would be good to rotate them all throughout the season or even games, so there is no one incumbent who will suddenly feel slighted if moved. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
laninaperdida Posted March 26, 2014 Author Share Posted March 26, 2014 I suppose it's ok other than you're changing the purpose of the team from just casual fun to more intense competition so the person might be more than a little surprised to hear this. This has never ever been casual, lol. The girl in question is an avid player herself (she's on a few teams), but the problem is she's simply not that good. She's asked before if the rest of the team doesn't want her to play because I think she can *feel* we don't want her there. I always avoided answering because I don't want to be the b1tch... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
laninaperdida Posted March 26, 2014 Author Share Posted March 26, 2014 Chances are that her feelings will get hurt either way if the team is this competitive and not really playing for fun. It's more about which is the lesser evil - her feeling upset about getting benched for the big game or you all losing the game and blaming her even if you don't quite say it directly. On the other hand, she is probably not totally oblivious and might be happy or even relieved at not having to deal with the pressure or feel responsible in case you all lose. In the future, if you have multiple players for a position, it would be good to rotate them all throughout the season or even games, so there is no one incumbent who will suddenly feel slighted if moved. Her biggest issue is that she's not a versotile player. She refuses to play anywhere other than net which is unfair because if our star goal scorers are having a bad game they will play another spot & give another player a chance. If she has a bad game (quite often she does) we're literally screwed. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bunney Posted March 26, 2014 Share Posted March 26, 2014 I think someone should be honest with her and when it comes to sports, IMO it's ok to tell someone they're not living up to the expectations. So you guys have to decide : get rid of her and replace her with someone who meets your teams standards (do you already a replacement in mind?), or keep her on the team and most likely lose the league just because you didn't want her feelings get hurt. I'm very competitive especially when it comes to sports, so if someone is on my team who decreases our chances of winning by FAR, I would be quick to tell them 'sorry, but this ain't working bro! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kattie Posted March 26, 2014 Share Posted March 26, 2014 If your team has voted that she must go (majority vote), the team captain should tell her that she won't be the team goalie any longer, but she is welcome to continue as a player. Some decisions are hard but for the best. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
laninaperdida Posted March 26, 2014 Author Share Posted March 26, 2014 I think someone should be honest with her and when it comes to sports, IMO it's ok to tell someone they're not living up to the expectations. So you guys have to decide : get rid of her and replace her with someone who meets your teams standards (do you already a replacement in mind?), or keep her on the team and most likely lose the league just because you didn't want her feelings get hurt. I'm very competitive especially when it comes to sports, so if someone is on my team who decreases our chances of winning by FAR, I would be quick to tell them 'sorry, but this ain't working bro! Love it. I just hope I don't have to tell her & I probably Will. We literally play with 4 defense when most team.play w III h 2. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ParisPaulette Posted March 26, 2014 Share Posted March 26, 2014 If this is a competitive team and you're playing to win then yes, you always put the strongest players in the strongest positions. And if someone doesn't get that then they should seek another sport or practice, so they don't lose their spot. If this is a bunch of friends getting together then no, it's not worth the drama of hurt feelings. Realize you'll have fun and you'll have to compensate and take the losses. Sports is about teamwork, but that cuts both ways--a player who isn't that good at something also should be willing to step aside and let someone else take the spot OR they should be working double time to fix whatever the problem is. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
laninaperdida Posted March 27, 2014 Author Share Posted March 27, 2014 UPDATE: I put my feelers out with her last night @ our all womens' game & she wasn't having it. I said something along the lines of "Don't stress about co ed, Mark (the better goalie) is willing to step in if you're having a bad game." She's all "Oh, I only agreed to let him play my spot during the other (for fun) tournament the team was in." After watching her play last night, I know we're genuinely screwed. Our defense is solid (they have to be to compensate for her), but she lets in 3/4 shots that are taken. Basically, if the defence doesn't come through it's a guaranteed goal & that shouldn't be how it goes in soccer. The goalie is the last line of defence... Not just a body. Le sigh. I'm hoping I can get someone else to be the bad guy & tell her or pull her out after she lets a few goals in because I'm not sure if it should be me. If a friend is telling you bad news it can hurt the relationship & since I'm more her friend than anyone else it'll be 10x worse coming from me than if it came from another player. People say they want honesty, but they end up resenting you for it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kattie Posted March 30, 2014 Share Posted March 30, 2014 You need a strong goalie, or what fun it for the other players? Even with 9 year olds, if the goalie isn't performing the coach will stick in another child. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pinkelephant Posted March 30, 2014 Share Posted March 30, 2014 what a sticky situation. i feel like it might be better if it came from you, instead of another player who says most people want you gone and then she finds out that most people included you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
laninaperdida Posted April 2, 2014 Author Share Posted April 2, 2014 We lost, as I knew we would. We had a strong D, but all shots taken went in. I'm just glad it's over. We didn't put her on our team in the summer so I'm trying to tell myself it's winning a season isn'tas important as someone's feelings. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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