Continue moving on or go back to him...

[marona]

If anyone who reads this read my last post, just know it's a follow up of my last thread, if not here's a short summary...

 

I met a guy on online gaming, fell in love without planning to, we live in two different countries (though neighbour contries so not impossibly far away) and everything seemed perfect, he was really loving and caring and knew how to always say and do the right things, we even ended up having skype sex mostly every day but we ended up hurting eachother some times, and he would stop talking to me, and I would block him in order to move on because I felt at times he did not invest enough or as much as I did... But despite me logically giving up I had a hard time doing so emotionwise, and as we still both used the same game forum we would use this tool in order to get eachothers attention in a vrry indirect manner. I wrote a messageon this forum to him as it was our only mean of communication in which I couldn't block him, with a final goodbye which I kept short, politw and non-emotional, asking him to please delete me from snapchat and other communicationforms so I wouldn't be reminded of his presense while moving on.

 

Some days went by before he even saw the message, and that also made me feel like he never really was invested... How can you ignore someone you claim to love? I mean this guy would literally tell me how he could never stop thinking of me, qould be thinking of me at all times in school and couldn't help himself from smiling when he saw me, and it all seemed SO trustworthy! I mean, I had it the same way as he described it, and that was why it was so hard for me to let go. That's why I could ask myself if he was really in love, was faking it, and if guys are even capable of being in love (or if I'm too gullible lol)

 

Anyways, I saw he "flirted" with a girl some weeks ago, telling her she was pretty, inserting a heart, and that really broke my heart at the time. I was adviced to withdraw myself from the gaming site in which I saw this happened on and so I did, and I first checked it yesterday because a mutual friend adviced me to due to something I'll explain now...

 

When I figured that thing out about the other girl that last time I wrote here, I had inserted these lyrics on my profile in his native language (the site is originally english) and after I did that in my pain, I've kinda completely forgot about it and have been incredibly busy with school and other stuff to even check the gaming site.

The lyrics ment something along

"I'm wondering if youre out there,

If I send you my thoughts, do you receive them?

Maybe you're not there, maybe there's hope

Maybe you don't even think of me at all"

 

So yesterday our mutual female friend wrote me "you haven't been online on the gaming site some time" and I told her i've been quite busy and she tells me "you should see _ profile, I'm quite positive he wrote that for you..."

 

And he had written in my language:

"I still think, trust me now

I read and cry, but it's okay,

I know I may deserve it, I'm aware of that

But everything I said was true...

I'm wondering if you read this even... "

 

And here's my dilemma... First of, he wrote this like, I think over a week after I wrote my text, I mean I almost forgot I had it... Isn't this a red flag? Could it be he just want to have his cake and eat it?

 

I'm in a place where I feel if his intentions were sincere I would give him the benefit of the doubt, but if this smells fishy from a perspective I may not be able to see I'd rather just let it go... I had muted him so he couldn't directly write, and back when I blocked him I asked him to please not do so, so I guess it would be up to me if I wanted something from this...

 

But can I trust a guy who previously went silent on me? What would you do? I am currwntly developing a friendship with another guy (in my country) that I had hoped could lead into more, so maybe it's better for me to just keep going this way.

 

I would just love to hear some thoughts on this, as I am not sure if there's obvious red signs I'm missing.

Also the new guy just turned 17 which I feel is quite young (the other guy is turning 18 next month, I'm 19)

[nanz]

I did not read your original post, however based on this one alone.... What have you learned from this situation? It seems clear to me, that there are emotions that you have that are begging to be experienced right now. Many times emotions are covered over with our thinking about what is "better" or "correct" but in this case, the "better" or "correct" thing to do is whatever makes you happy.

 

Think about what you have learned, what you have felt, and the things you have done. I use the word YOU very specifically because this issue is not about the guy or the new guy.

 

 

One other thing, that I personally find very helpful when dealing with issues like this, is to write yourself a post like this. Then go do something to distract yourself. Later, come back and read your post as if it were someone else asking you for advice. If you are able to get yourself out of the emotions and into a third person perspective, it can really help you see what everyone else is reading that you miss or have justified for some reason that is not written down. Just do not edit your information while you are reading it or the exercise will not work.

[catfeeder]

I read your first post. You're essentially asking whether to sink back into your cyber fantasy 'about' this guy only to keep yourself isolated and living in your head in anticipation of him someday materializing.

 

If you didn't learn anything the first time, what's to stop you from taking the long road and the hard way back to reality?