jstew2000 Posted March 20, 2014 Share Posted March 20, 2014 I'm trying to find the root if my obsession with my ex. We've been broken up for 2 months now. I truly was in love with her. but she emotionally cheated on me, and I still took her back because of my insecurities and low self esteem. I make an attachment by clinging onto false hope that's not there. I delete all social media and feel fine. Then I get cravings randomly and download them again to check on my ex. I think I might have an addiction to love. Seeing if anyone has had this or has advice on how they changed/broke free from this addiction. Maybe someone is like me and became less co-dependent and more confident/secure over time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MisUnderstood9 Posted March 20, 2014 Share Posted March 20, 2014 You're break up is still fresh -- 2 months isn't all that long, especially depending on the length of your relationship. If you were doing things like this after 6months, 9 months, a year... ya I'd say you may be obsessed. The fact of the matter here is is that you miss her still. That's all it really is, you miss her, you want to see her, want to know how she is, etc etc etc. You'll become more dependent and secure eventually. One day you'll be wondering why you ever did those things and that "one day" is coming around the corner -- just continue to stay strong and fight the erges to go and find her on facebook or talk to friends about her. The more you fight those erges the easier it will get. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NorthDallas40 Posted March 20, 2014 Share Posted March 20, 2014 Your behavior is perfectly normal compared to most people here on ENA, and probably elsewhere as well. You're not an addict. You're human. Keep up NC and eventually these feelings will lessen. Time is your friend, even if he can seem much too slow sometimes! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BlueRizla Posted March 20, 2014 Share Posted March 20, 2014 A sure sign of a love addict is jumping into another relationship straight away and not grieving the one you just left/came out of... repeatedly. Keep doing that and all those loses can build up into one. If it ever comes out and the addict gains awareness it can cause enormous suffering and depression. Something like a total mess. Love addicts live for the initial spark, the honeymoon, the butterflies in your stomach. I have been there in my codependency. It can also be related to abandonment/engulfment issues... things I'm also very familiar with. I don't see that here. I see a guy who is grieving a loss in a normal way. I'm there right now as well. Remember to be good to yourself and dispense with the negative headtalk. Its hard to let go of something you love. It can make us all act a little crazy at times. Keep posting. Namaste. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jstew2000 Posted March 21, 2014 Author Share Posted March 21, 2014 Thank you guys. Means a lot. I'm trying to find strength, it just seems like it never ends and just gets worse. I can't wait for the day I feel like the weight is lifted. Where I can just be happy with myself and being alone. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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