dating mistakes

[tiffs05]

"If it was meant to be good, no matter what wrongs you two do, it'll always be good at the end of the day.

However, if it was meant to be bad, no matter how much good y'all do, even if you're always on your best behavior,

it'll always end bad." One of my clients put that in my head two nights ago. Fate? How many ppl who are dating, factor that into decision making and choices made?

Dating is supposed to be fun. We constantly remind ourselves of that, yet, the stress mixed with adrenaline rush of anticipation and expectation most likely always rushes in and clouds our judgment.

I met a girl online, I'd say approximately two months ago? Conversationally, physically and socially compatible. Respected each others' values, emotions, learned from each other and shared our appreciation for our views on many things; understood one another's' humor, no matter how cold or offensive. We met up once I'd say 4 wks ago; conversed like we always had. We were quite comfortable with each other. And needless to say, somehow our casual social connection became more and more intimate. I understand that attraction played a huge part, but it was just how we connected. Ended up on the dance floor together, and the night was history. Let's just say, when we woke up in the morning, we continued to talk and laugh - hah with a few kisses in between. I should write a movie script. Had breakfast together, kissed good-bye, until the next time.

 

2 wks after, continued our daily routine of random texts, at times every other day, we needed our space too. We're not in a relationship so why not. Then I asked her out on a date. She cancelled on me once cause she wasn't feeling well. Understandable. She then was busy wks and wks after that. We set up for this wknd, however, the past wknd, two things happened. One, communication stopped. Does that always happen before dates? And two, my dad was diagnosed with cancer. So, I texted to cancel the date, called but no response. Replied right after I texted the next morning. Said "no worries".

Yes, I was part insecure and stressed, so I cancelled the date. Absolutely unacceptable on my part. Not the smartest idea. Cause she is either mad at me now, or she dropped me completely. I did ask her if she was available next Monday-Wednesday, was going to make it up to her, but she responded that she couldn't do it. I don't know. I have a hard time reading between the lines. Many people say she's interested or she wouldn't bother texting back or responding at that. But, as I'm moving on, I'm not sure how to cap my negative judgment on how she feels towards me. Cause that guilt of cancelling this date, and (maybe) she was turned off by that, keeps bothering me. Suggestions? Insight? Don't ever text/call again? Wait for her to do it? Move on? Next? ... I hate dating. Its supposed to be "fun".

[catfeeder]

Sometimes a really long first date, especially ending in sleeping together, can just create a feeling of 'too much too soon'.

 

I'd pull back--a lot. Maybe I'd message her on a rare occasion with a funny thought or something--but I would not attempt to make plans or even refer to getting together again.

 

If she decides she's into seeing you again, she'll have no trouble letting you know that. Meanwhile, I'd move on. You may end up meeting someone who dwarfs this girl's importance to you.

[tiffs05]

Sometimes a really long first date, especially ending in sleeping together, can just create a feeling of 'too much too soon'.

 

I'd pull back--a lot. Maybe I'd message her on a rare occasion with a funny thought or something--but I would not attempt to make plans or even refer to getting together again.

 

If she decides she's into seeing you again, she'll have no trouble letting you know that. Meanwhile, I'd move on. You may end up meeting someone who dwarfs this girl's importance to you.

 

Does that always happen? Maybe she got uncomfortable? Although I must say, we seemed to have hit it off pretty well. Cause that morning, it wasn't awkward at all. After that night, we continued our daily random conversations. Just seemed that we were comfortable with one another. But yes, it may have been too much too soon. That night also was very unexpected. Everything flowed quite smoothly into intimacy. Sober.

Usually when this happens, is it because of insecurity or just simple disinterest? I'd think we'd cut each other off right after or at least show some sort of hint in disinterest if we had no interest. I know I was definitely insecure last week, cause of change in behavior, being emotionally stressed with everything all of a sudden. It is my fault for not controlling my stress caused idiotic decision. Bad choices. I need to learn how to read better.

Thank you for your response.