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Ex-boyfriend started talking to my sister.


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I dated my ex-boyfriend for three years in high school and now we are both in college. The last time we spoke was about four years and we haven't talked at all even though we attend the same college and have seen each other a few times. I don't see him around often but when I have he has never tried talking to me. I don't hate him or anything even though he hurt me a lot. I am 22 years old now and I've been fine without him. I know we were young and that the past is the past but now that he started talking to my sister I feel so weird. They have each other for a class and he started talking to her even thought they weren't even friends when we were dating. Today he just asked how I've been and told her that he has seen me around and that's it. They mostly talked about others things and he gave her his number ( he said just in case she ever need helps with math), asked her to add him on facebook, and gave her a hug. It is obvious that he has no interest in talking to me again, which is fine but why would he even want to talk to my sister? I have a feeling he might like her or something. Things ended really bad between so that's why I have never tried talking to him. I honestly would talk to him but I can't try to talk to him first because I don't want him to think that I am still not over him or that I'm obsessed with him. If he ever tried to talking to me I would gladly talk to him again but since he has never tried to do so I know he has no interest in doing so. I guess I'm a little sad that he didn't ask my sister to give him number or to say hi to me for him. Guess deep down I wanted him to want to talk to me again. I just hope he doesn't start flirting with my sister or start liking her. I just think it's weird that he talks to her but doesn't talk to me. She's my sister and if they started dating or liking each other I would be so heart broken. What do you guys think?

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I guess if you are truly amazing, you can be the bigger person and be happy for your sister if they do end up liking each other. Though I can see how that would be tough. I know with my previous exes, my family has always been fairly loyal and stayed away from them just outta kindness and loyalty to me..kinda like a bro code for families. Just talk to your sister and let her know how you feel.

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Everyone's different in these kinds of situations, but If i were your sister, I wouldn't talk to him. Ex boyfriends are kindof off limits to sisters, but whatever. If they are just classmates then they're JUST classmates. Yes, it's weird that they're talking and I would express concern in my sister of that my after that, that's all you can do. Don't be sad! If they become friends or something, just tell her to tell him you say hi or something. The last thing you can do is be embarrassed, just act normal but keep an eye out.

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t is obvious that he has no interest in talking to me again

 

Why does that matter if you don't want to talk to him, either?

If he has seen you around and you have looked the other way or quickly crossed the street, you gave him a red light and not a green one, so why should he try to get in touch with you? He did ask how you were, but since you were not going up to him on your own, he doesn't want to pursue it.

 

It sounds like they are not dating. He has a class with her. He remembers her from the past. Everyone is immature in high school and he probably did a lot of growing up. Don't jump to conclusions. As I get older, when I run into people from high school or siblings of people I hung with in high school, no matter who was the popular one, stoner, geek, , whatever - we do great eachother warmly. Don't make a big deal out of it and it won't be a big deal. She has the right to be civil with him and it doesn't betray you. If they want to date, that's another matter - but I doubt if that will happen given your past with him.

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He is long gone so forget about him. Entirely. And now he's hitting on your sister. And not even asking about you... Isn't that special? What a jerk.

 

Really, time to let any past feelings/notions about this guy go. And have a talk with your sister and tell her that it weirds you out that he's trying to talk to her, and you'd rather she not get involved with him at all socially. She's your sister and should understand and cut him off cold. She doesn't have to be mean to him, just brush him off and not engage with him. It's better for both you and your sister to keep this guy out of your lives due to the baggage there.

 

And time for you to get busy finding others to date!

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I think my issue would be with my sister doing this more than him doing this. Your sister's loyalty should be with you and she should be way more cognizant of not hurting you by allowing your ex an entre into her life by any means. That's just some sloppy seconds and it's icky. Surely she can do better for herself than to go in behind her sister for romantic attention?

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I think you need to talk to your sister about it. And if you aren't over this guy after all this time you need to figure out why that it is and fix it. But my sisters and I always had a firm policy of not dating the others exes for exactly this type of reason. Also it helps to put a stop to those guys who have the mentality of "collect the whole set" about sisters although that doesn't sound like what it is here. He's moved on and isn't really thinking about how this will affect you and likely your sister isn't either. So talk to her about it and leave him out of it. He's long gone no matter what or who he talks to.

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My sister is fiercely loyal, and even though she really liked my ex...she sided with me completely. Maybe you are not close to your sister? Also... you want him asking for your number or to say hi? The same guy that is hitting on your sister? 4 years later... get over it...he's an ass. The worrisome part is why do you care? 4 years later, why aren't you over it? Also how is your relationship with your sister? Not everyone has a great one, but I feel as though if you two were close she'd follow the bro-code for sibilings and just be cordial with him.

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I guess if you are truly amazing, you can be the bigger person and be happy for your sister if they do end up liking each other. Though I can see how that would be tough. I know with my previous exes, my family has always been fairly loyal and stayed away from them just outta kindness and loyalty to me..kinda like a bro code for families. Just talk to your sister and let her know how you feel.

 

 

It would definitely be tough if they started dating. My sister said she would never go out with any of my ex boyfriends but you never know what can happen. I told her I thought it was weird that he is talking to her but not that I think they can end up liking each other. I should tell her how I really feel.

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if i was your sister i wouldnt go past saying hello, its kind of a betrayal in my view for her to be friends with him and inconsiderate

 

In my view it's kind of a betrayal too. I don't understand why he would even want to talk to my sister. He never says hi to me but he has my sister for a class and now wants to be her friend.

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I would talk to him but like I said I have never tried because of what happened between us. The last time we spoke he insulted me and told me he didn't want to talk to me again. I liked him a lot and I would beg him to stay with me when he broke up with me. I acted like a such an obsessive person when I was with him and I feel like I can't try to talk to him first because he's going to think that I'm still obsessed over him. He left me for another girl and he never ever offered me an apology. I have always said that he came up to me and offered me an apology I would talk to him again. I've been fine without him and just focusing on college. Maybe I am jumping into conclusions but I just find it so weird that he wants to be my sister's friend.

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He is long gone so forget about him. Entirely. And now he's hitting on your sister. And not even asking about you... Isn't that special? What a jerk.

 

Really, time to let any past feelings/notions about this guy go. And have a talk with your sister and tell her that it weirds you out that he's trying to talk to her, and you'd rather she not get involved with him at all socially. She's your sister and should understand and cut him off cold. She doesn't have to be mean to him, just brush him off and not engage with him. It's better for both you and your sister to keep this guy out of your lives due to the baggage there.

 

And time for you to get busy finding others to date!

 

I think you're right we should just keep him out of our lives. They are classmates but that doesn't mean they have to become friends. If he doesn't want to talk to me then he should know better and not talk to my own sister either.

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I think my issue would be with my sister doing this more than him doing this. Your sister's loyalty should be with you and she should be way more cognizant of not hurting you by allowing your ex an entre into her life by any means. That's just some sloppy seconds and it's icky. Surely she can do better for herself than to go in behind her sister for romantic attention?

 

I'm going to talk to my sister and ask her to not talk to him anymore. She can say hi but they should't be friends because we are not even friends to begin with. If he wants to start dating her or something then he's a real jerk.

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Yup, it sounds like he is hitting on your sister. Have you told your sister how you feel about all of this?

 

Why would you feel so heartbroken?

 

I feel like he is because he gave her his number and hugs her. I told her I thought it was weird but not that I think they will end up liking each other. She just said she won't ever try calling him or texting to him. I didn't tell her I didn't want them talking anymore but maybe I should. I would feel heartbroken because I liked him a lot and if my sister started dating him I would feel betrayed.

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I think you need to talk to your sister about it. And if you aren't over this guy after all this time you need to figure out why that it is and fix it. But my sisters and I always had a firm policy of not dating the others exes for exactly this type of reason. Also it helps to put a stop to those guys who have the mentality of "collect the whole set" about sisters although that doesn't sound like what it is here. He's moved on and isn't really thinking about how this will affect you and likely your sister isn't either. So talk to her about it and leave him out of it. He's long gone no matter what or who he talks to.

 

The thing is that I am over him because I hardly think about him or miss him. I've been fine without him but now that he started talking to my sister I feel weird. He has had other girlfriends and that has not bothered me but if he wants to date my sister then that would bother me.

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It's your sister's life. She can do whatever she wants. With that in mind, I'd talk to her if I were you. I bet she wouldn't like if the situation was the reverse. So sit down with her and have a talk.

 

I know that it's her life and that she can do whatever she wants but that doesn't mean she has to talk to him. She knows what I went through with him and maybe she wouldn't date him but that doesn't mean he won't try to make her like him. Maybe he just wants to be her friend but I think it's kind of mean that he is practically ignoring me. Yeah, I'm just going to have to tell my sister how I really feel.

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My sister is fiercely loyal, and even though she really liked my ex...she sided with me completely. Maybe you are not close to your sister? Also... you want him asking for your number or to say hi? The same guy that is hitting on your sister? 4 years later... get over it...he's an ass. The worrisome part is why do you care? 4 years later, why aren't you over it? Also how is your relationship with your sister? Not everyone has a great one, but I feel as though if you two were close she'd follow the bro-code for sibilings and just be cordial with him.

 

I don't think she would date him but I think it's weird that he even wants to talk to her. I don't mind if they say hi to each other but why is he even trying to become her friend? I don't care about him anymore but I don't want him to hit on my sister. I said I would talk to him again but it's not like I've been dying to talk to him and can't live without him. We are close but I feel like you never know what can happen in life.

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>>I don't think she would date him but I think it's weird that he even wants to talk to her.

 

I think you are probably giving this a lot more thought than he is... he could be hitting on all kinds of women just trying to hook up, and he may see your sister as another potential hook up!

 

Just let your sister know how you feel, and I think that will be the end of it... If she turns him down, he'll just move on looking for the next hook up.

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