Jump to content

Going on a date with a recent divorcee?


TheD87

Recommended Posts

I didn't really know where to post this but i guess this is the best category.

 

I met someone on match recently who I have been talking to, and it led to me getting her phone # and I think it is about to lead to a date. I've gotten real good at finding people's social media with real little information (I do it for my job, I am not a stalker haha). This girl had a lot of photos on her profile, but a lot were odd angles or her doing fun things so I couldn't really tell what she looked like, plus I always snoop a little bit before I meet someone so I found her fb profile. Her match profile listed she was divorced, which really isn't a huge issue for me. But when I saw her fb I realized she got married less than a year ago. So her divorce must be pretty recent. Should I be worried about that? I don't really want to get involved with someone who isn't ready to date again. She also used pictures from her wedding on her dating profile which is kind of odd to me too, but I don't know. Am I worrying over nothing, or is this something I should keep an eye on?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Hey The D87,

I would be careful. Why? Because the divorce seems to recent and you dont want to be a rebound. On the other hand, she might be sincere and really wants to get to know you. In that case I would suggest to follow your instinct. What does your instinct tell you? Good luck friend!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

And you're positive she is divorced...

 

Well I can't be positive but her fb profile pic isn't of him and her together, but it shows up in her timeline the date of her marriage and stuff. Her match profile lists that she is divorced

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Are you able to obtain that information, as in public records, etc?

 

If I really wanted to I guess I could call in or fill in a request for the records...but I don't think she is still married. She has no relationship status listed on fb. Most married people I know show they are married on fb (especially since hers shows her wedding date on her timeline). It says the date of the wedding, which was 10 months ago. Not sure when the divorce was though.

 

And I didn't post it earlier but she is 25 years old.

 

edit - Her fb profile is her maiden name too by the way

Link to comment
Share on other sites

If she got married less than a year ago and she's already divorced and she's only 25, I'd want to find out what happened before I went out with her. Obviously, to get divorced so soon after the marriage, something went very wrong and, for all you know, she may still not be over it.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

So your only indication you have that she's divorced is because her online dating profile says "divorced"? Do not ever trust the status on online dating profiles, those are the most lied upon in the history of lies, lol.

If I were you I would highly doubt she is really divorced. She obviously didn't foresee that you'd be finding her FB profile and find out the date she got married, so I'd make sure she isn't actually very married and just looking for some extra marital fun.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

So your only indication you have that she's divorced is because her online dating profile says "divorced"? Do not ever trust the status on online dating profiles, those are the most lied upon in the history of lies, lol.

If I were you I would highly doubt she is really divorced. She obviously didn't foresee that you'd be finding her FB profile and find out the date she got married, so I'd make sure she isn't actually very married and just looking for some extra marital fun.

 

Well I googled her after to see if there were public records and I found the website of her business and one of the brochure listed her with her married name but her fb now and the frontpage of her website also shows her listed under her maiden name. And if someone was going to lie about their status online wouldn't they list single instead of divorced?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

All this stressing over someone you've never even met yet...

 

You're questioning everything from her marital status to not even knowing if she is attractive because of the odd angles of the photos she's posted.

 

Wouldn't it be easier to find someone else?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

All this stressing over someone you've never even met yet...

 

You're questioning everything from her marital status to not even knowing if she is attractive because of the odd angles of the photos she's posted.

 

Wouldn't it be easier to find someone else?

 

Im not stressing, I looked up her FB because her online pictures on her profile weren't the greatest and quite honestly online I am a little nervous about people being real so I usually try and verify they are a real person before I talk to them too much or get too close.

 

And I am convinced she is divorced, it is other people on here who have been suggesting she isn't. I was just concerned that maybe someone who is recently divorced may not be ready to date again or wondering if this was too early.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Im not stressing, I looked up her FB because her online pictures on her profile weren't the greatest and quite honestly online I am a little nervous about people being real so I usually try and verify they are a real person before I talk to them too much or get too close.

 

And I am convinced she is divorced, it is other people on here who have been suggesting she isn't. I was just concerned that maybe someone who is recently divorced may not be ready to date again or wondering if this was too early.

 

I think the fact that she used her wedding photos on her dating profile might indicate that she's still not over her previous marriage.. I wouldn't rule out meeting her, but I wouldn't jump into a relationship or exclusive dating agreement with her right away, either.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

So she originally told me to text her Saturday (yesterday) because that is when she was free. I texted her saturday asking how she was doing and was going to ask her out. She responded that her grandpa died and she was currently at the hospital with her uncle who was on his death bed and she wasn't doing well. Then texted me again before i could respond "Sorry, I shouldn't have said that. I haven't even met you yet". So I told her that was awful and if she needed anything let me know and she told me "Thanks that really means a lot". She told me today a bunch of family were in town for the funerals and that she would maybe be free by the weekend. I told her her family is way more important and she should take care of all of that first and we can figure it out later. She told me "we will go out eventually

 

It is just a really weird start here. I had a ton in common with her, and we hit it off in our messages online, but this has really been an unusual series of events. She might not be in a good place right now with all that is going on either.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

We have been texting with her for over a week now. She asked me out Saturday, so I think we are finally going to meet up. Now I met her on link removed and we exchanged multiple emails over a few days which means she was a paying member. I just went to check her profile for something and I realized it has since been deleted. Should I make anything out of that?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

25 is very young.

 

She may have gotten married impulsively, like a night in Vegas thing, and immediately realized it was a huge mistake.

 

Assuming the relationship was short, then she actually should be in a much better state emotionally than most divorcees. This is not a woman who was married for 20 years with 3 kids. Very little baggage here.

 

It's a good sign that she has taken down her profile. It means one of two things: (1) She likes you and wants to see how it goes without being distracted or (2) She believes that she is not in the proper frame of mind (due to recent divorce and death of grandfather) to open herself up to dating other people. I think #1 is more likely than #2, or else she would have similarly put you on hold until she's in a different place.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I don't think you should speculate -she might have her profile up on other sites, she might have realized her ex was on Match, she might be deciding to meet you but then that's it for online searching or perhaps she is getting back together with her ex and meeting you for "why not". I wouldn't assume it has to do with a stranger she's never met in person (stranger for all practical purposes)

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 1 month later...

Update on this situation

 

We went on one date and it went really well. She took a picture of us together at the bar we were at, we hung out almost 2 hours and then she had to leave and she told me before she left "I really like you, so I hope you don't take me leaving now the wrong way, I promise we will hang out again!" and then she actually pulled out her calendar (she owns her own business) and was looking and said she was out of town for a week, but she actually picked a day like a week and half later and said "Ill make sure not to schedule anything else that night, I'm writing date night on there now".

 

We texted during that week and a half, but two days before that night she stopped texting me. I didn't hear from her the day we planned on meeting either so I texted her "It was nice meeting you and I had fun, but I can see it looks like our plans are off tonight".

 

I didn't hear anything from her for another two days, then she sent me a text message that said something like "I am so sorry. I am in a really rough situation right now. I will be fine, but I just need some time". I told her that was fine and to let me know if I could help, she said no and that she would hopefully be able to text me soon.

 

I then had some major drama with two of my other exes and I let her be for a while. Over a week later I sent another text asking if everything was ok with her. She said something like "Things have gone from bad to worse but I will text you soon". I told her she can talk to me about it if she wants someone to talk to. She then told me "I am just having a rough time, my mom is really catholic and she is not talking to me now and basically is disowning me because she calls me a 'divorced mess'". We exchanged a few more texts that day and I cheered her up a little bit.

 

We went another couple days no contact then Tuesday I just texted her again asking if she was doing better, she said yes and that she is just working a ton. I asked if she wanted to get together again soon and she said "Of course! Text me on Thursday and I should know my work schedule better by then." Texted her today and we set up kind of two tentative plans this weekend, with a chance neither works (I am leaving town for part of weekend plus she works, so our schedules might not line up).

 

So I think I am going to give it a shot, because I had a really good first date with her, and given her situation I don't really blame her for delaying the second date like she did. But I really don't know if I should be worried, because she is recently divorced, and obviously she still has issues because of it (at least family issues are still resonating). Plus given the history of drama filled girls I have dated lately (well documented on here) and who I continued to see after many red flags, I am worried about something like that here. But she doesn't seem real drama filled, just her situation feels kind of messed up. Although I really want to know why she got divorced so quickly, although I don't think that is my business to ask.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

×
×
  • Create New...