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Husband leaving for training, my life is changing


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My husband is in the army and he's going away for the last bit of his training the day after tomorrow. He will be gone for 4 months. During that time, I will be choosing a new house accross the country for us to move to, packing our entire house alone, and preparing to move accross the country with him.

 

I'm terrified. The first time I ever moved was when I went to college, 4 hours from my hometown. I had a really hard time adjusting even then. So I'll be preparing for this move in 4 months, without him here, just all shaky and nervous. Oh, and I worry about finding a job in my field and feel like I probably won't find anything and end up doing retail.

 

We've been on rocky ground for a long time. Things are finally, FINALLY looking up, and now he's leaving. We will be able to talk via phone and text, but still. We haven't had the best go recently and I worry what this distance will do. I'm a little gunshy that's he's just going to wig out again and it's stressful.

 

I have almost no friends in this town anymore, my college town, so I'm pretty much going to be completely alone. Just my job and my dog.

 

Normally, I handle distance very well. I'm independent, I find things to do, but my insecurities from our issues and our previous rocky status in our relationship has got me thrown for a loop. I'm even kind of looking forward to making such a huge move! I've never done that before!

 

I'm sorry if this came out whiney. I'm just looking for some words of encouragement or stories about moving insane distances and being ok. Any suggestions too. Thanks everyone.

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I have almost no friends in this town anymore, my college town, so I'm pretty much going to be completely alone.

 

I'm even kind of looking forward to making such a huge move!

 

I don't blame you for feeling overwhelmed and nervous about planning a big move on your own but my advice to you is to focus on those two points above. Moves can be exciting! You basically get to start fresh, meet new people and discover new places. It sounds like you aren't exactly happy where you are anyway so keep that in mind as you look for your new home.

 

I haven't moved long distances but my fiance is in the military and we've gone through three deployments together so I can relate to the separation aspect, if that helps. As far as worrying about your relationship, I say drop it. It's out of your control now. Focus instead on the move and keep yourself busy. Good luck!

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Clueless, we should DM. My boyfriend literally left today for basic training and I COMPLETELY get where you are coming from.

 

My advice stems from my upbringing, though. I am a military brat an have lived in different states and countries. It's not an easy life --- you know this. But it is so exciting. You get to live in a new place, make new friends, explore a new climate or culture, and it's only going to add to your life experience. So in that respect, embrace it all. A lot of people don't leave the 5 mile radius of their birth place so be happy.

 

With your relationship…I read your old posts and I can see that you've hit a few bumps together. If you are still together, it shows you both care enough to make it through. You have to make an effort with him but also realize he is on the job and will have little to no time for petty arguments. He needs to focus on what will bring home the money for you both. This is his reputation. It worries me that you are so rocky about things…please, please don't be one of the MilSo's who ends up giving up and cheating on their man. Don't do that. You're better than that.

 

Honestly… DM me. We can talk. I could use support too. Think it might be good for both of us. We have to stay strong HOOAH!

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Thanks for the support, both of you. It does make me feel a lot better that you both know what I'm going through.

 

I also kind of like to think the issue of our relationship is out of my hands. We've discussed it and have come to some amazing conclusions, the likes of which make me so proud of him and show me how much he's trying.

 

And don't worry, I've got no interest in that cheating garbage! No one deserves that.

 

And yeah, I try to be really supportive of him. When I feel one of my petty arguments coming on I'm like "ok, breathe. Let it go" haha.

 

We should definitely private message together and be sad haha.

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