I Found a Sales Receipt that Concerned Me.

[surfdog]

When my girlfriend and I go out together she sometimes keep my wallet and keys in her bag. The other day I was leaving for work and could not find my wallet. I realized it was in her bag. I found her bag and opened it. While digging through her bag I found a receipt from a Nail Salon that she goes to when she gets her eyebrows waxed. The date was 2/28/14 (Friday) and the time on the receipt was 13:58….which is 1:58pm.

She called me (as usual) when she got out of work around 5:25pm (or 17:25). She left a voicemail to tell me she was going to get her eyebrows waxed. I was out of state for work reasons at the time, I came home the next day.

My concern is that the time on the slip was 3.5 hours before she said she was going to get her eye brows waxed…..when she left her voicemail for me she stated the time (5:25pm) so I know it is not a case of a delayed message and besides she works until 5 pm daily.

I have very deep trust issue (read my other posts) so seeing the receipt with a conflicting time was really concerning and difficult to not think the worst…that she left work early doing who knows what and then lying to me about where she was. Also, she was out sick from work on Tuesday and did not feel well on most of the week, why would she need her eyebrows waxed if she was not feeling well (although they were done when I say her Saturday).

I have thought about tons of possibilities….maybe the machine at the Salon is wrong. She has not done anything to make me concerned, except sometimes she doesn’t answer her phone at night, she said she falls asleep on the couch sometimes and one time (about 1 year ago) she said one of her friends texted her asking her to go out (she told him she had a boyfriend and offered to show me the text).

Should I be concerned? I don’t want to ignore clues.

[Edmund Exley]

Should I be concerned? I don’t want to ignore clues.

 

No, you should start therapy and deal with your trust issues. Just acknowledging you have them doesn't excuse you from dealing with them.

[surfdog]

I'm in therapy, actually I see two therapist.

[MisUnderstood9]

Do you know how many receipts I have gotten (especially from those Nail places) where the times arent correct? A million! She probably isnt lying to about her going to get his eye brows waxed, she probably did at the time she said she did and the nail salons time on their receipt print out is incorrect - they dont need to prove what time they made the sale just that the sale was made so alot of them dont both fixing the time.

 

You are reading WAY to in something thats nothing more a piece of paper, seriously breathe and think about how wildy crazy this accusation sounds.

[IAmFCA]

The thing about having trust issues, is that they attract behaviors that are less than truthful.

 

If we expect to be lied to, then we will be.

 

The receipt may be nothing, it may be something. That is a secondary issue. Are you happy with the relationship? Then leave it alone.

[Angler]

maybe the machine at the Salon is wrong.

 

Occam's Razor.

[MisUnderstood9]

Occam's Razor.

 

Great point and complete applies!

[oneK]

Why not ask her about it? Yes, it is a problem that you feel the way you do but...you feel the way you do, and it will likely gnaw away at you until you find some way to resolve it.

 

I think you should ask her about it while completely acknowledging your trust issues, trying not to be accusatory. If she becomes (rightfully) upset, explain that you feel this way because of your own issues and not because of something she has done, but that you still need her help to resolve it. Either she'll give you a simple explanation or it will be clear that she is hiding something. Either way, you'll get the relief you need.

[surfdog]

Thanks for the replies.

 

MisUnderstood9, yes that is what I thought too but the .001% possibility is killing me...."what if" thinking....my vise.

 

If I understand Occam's Razor correctly...it says go with the simplest explanation until otherwise. Is that correct?

[Fudgie]

Yes, that's true. "Simplest explanation is usually the correct one." Basically, don't overthink things.

 

And yes, I get a lot of receipts with incorrect times. Many stores have "lower end" cash registers and they don't care about fixing the times on them.

[surfdog]

I guess I'm afraid to ask because IF she was lying then she may change her behavior to not get caught (yes I now this sounds like I'm crazy) and also I'm afraid because I don't want to drive her away. Lastly I'm afraid to ask because it's completely embarrassing after I do ask (I asked in regards to other "trust issue" situations and it's happened several times before after asking). It's like a hangover.....you feel like sh*t afterwards and realize that you're coming accross very insecure.

[surfdog]

Thanks Fudgie.

 

Hearing that people get a lot of incorrect receipts helps. Sound crazy but I was tempted to go to the Salon and get something done just so I could get a receipt. I'm afraid the time would be correct. Then what would I do??????

[ALovingKitten]

I don't think it means she has been cheating on you, or lying. As for not answering her cell at night lots of times I would put mine on silent at night because I was busy or wanted to sleep and not get disturbed I was not cheating on my ex ever but just didn't want to be disturbed. ( so texts would come in or calls and I'd not see them until the morning or much later)

[oneK]

Surfdog, is your lady trustworthy? Has she lied before?

[MsAdorkable]

Ultimately this sounds like a problem with you, not a problem with her. Do you know how long eyebrow waxing takes? Like 15 minutes, if that. That's hardly enough time for her to be up to something. If she really had something to hide she'd have thrown the receipt out in the first place so there'd be no chance of you fishing around for your wallet and finding it. Honestly when I first opened this thread I thought it was gonna be a receipt for std meds or something lol. That would be concerning.

 

Like others said perhaps the cash register clock is wrong so all of the receipt timestamps are off.

 

Perhaps she went by earlier in the day, but they were booked so she prepaid and went back later.

 

Or maybe she did have her eyebrows done earlier and later on realized she wasn't happy with them and wanted to go back, and then just told you she was going to get them done. I don't know many guys who'd want to hear the details of that so it would be easier to just say I'm going and that's it.

[ParisPaulette]

And another vote for time on receipt is wrong, for exactly the reasons that Fudgie points out. Take a deep breath, practice some medication and talk to your therapist about it next time you see them. It's okay.

[greta96]

Thanks Fudgie.

 

Hearing that people get a lot of incorrect receipts helps. Sound crazy but I was tempted to go to the Salon and get something done just so I could get a receipt. I'm afraid the time would be correct. Then what would I do??????

 

I think you need to find new therapists. I'm not being mean, but if you already work with two of them and your behaviour is starting to border on stalking, then there's a problem.

 

It doesn't have to be that the time on the machine was wrong. People can have a plan in mind then change their minds, something harmless can come up to delay the original plan, and she absolutely shouldn't have to report her every step to you. Maybe she just wanted to meet a girlfriend and didn't tell you because she didn't want you to make a federal case out of it, and give her the third degree. She is a grown-up so she doesn't have to account for every little thing she does!?

 

Go on like that and she will be gone in no time. Nobody likes to be stalked and quite frankly you sound scary.

[nutbrownhare]

I agree with greta96. The fact that you even bothered to check the time on the receipt strikes me as, well, amazing! I think it wouldn't occur to most people, let alone thinking about getting something done to see if the time on the receipt was correct...!

 

It would be a good idea to explore fear, or unexpressed fears from your young life, with your therapist(s). It is nearly impossible to trust others when you're carrying a lot of this kind of baggage, and your lack of trust is sounding pathological. It must be very difficult for you to carry on relationships, but keep at it!

[Lexy83]

This reminded me of something that happened a long time ago when I was a young teenager. I was with my mum and my little brother and sister. We were in the town centre buying some stuff and my mum saw my dad's car. He was supposed to be at work at the time so she made us follow him. he entered a flower shop and got some flowers. My mum was freaking out, she thought he was cheating on her, lying her about what time he finishes work etc. Well it turned out it was their anniversary and he was buying flowers for her. She forgot about their anniversary completely.

 

This is just to say that there can be a lot of more reasonable explanations... in general and also in your case, but because you are a bit paranoid and insecure you will always think the worst. Same goes the opposite way as well. Some people will just blindly trust their partner even if it is obvious to everyone that he/she is cheating on him but they just don't want to see. It's important to try to be reasonable and not let your fears and insecurities mess up with your mind.

 

On the other hand... My friend's bf found a receipt in his gf's bag. Same as in your case, she was supposed to be at work at that time. And she really was cheating. But I think he didn't need a receipt to find that out since their RS was awful and everyone could see that. So pay more attenention to more important things in your RS and you will know. Trust your gut, but not your fears.

[Ms Darcy]

I'm in therapy, actually I see two therapist.

 

You might need a third. The idea that you would go to the salon to get a reciept ... you definitely need a third. This is beyond "trust issues" and towards "paranoia."

[Fudgie]

You might need a third. The idea that you would go to the salon to get a reciept ... you definitely need a third. This is beyond "trust issues" and towards "paranoia."

 

Agreed. That's very frightening to me. The fact that you would even entertain the idea is a bad sign.

[abitbroken]

If you ask her, then you have to own up to the fact that you rifled through her purse, and you will create distrust with her if you are checking up on her and accusing her. You really should have ASKED her if you could go in there or asked her "hey, I think i left my wallet in your purse, could you get it for me?" Or get a thinner wallet and keep track of it yourself! I totally get it - i put my big keys in my boyfriend coat pocket when we go to dinner and i am in a fancy dress, etc.

[Heather Dawn]

Thanks Fudgie.

 

Hearing that people get a lot of incorrect receipts helps. Sound crazy but I was tempted to go to the Salon and get something done just so I could get a receipt. I'm afraid the time would be correct. Then what would I do??????

 

You realize how insane this sounds, right? Because holy stalker, Batman.