good at debate, but...

[LeilaKay]

When my friends and I argue about a topic, I am usually pretty skilled at making my points and poking holes in arguments. But at the same time I get all upset going up against someone else.

 

Part of me wants to advocate for my opinions while another part wants to stop the debate and avoid conflict.

 

I do not know what to do about this. I appear to be good at something I do not exactly enjoy. I would not call it fun, that's for sure. Should I try to change so that it does not bother me, or should I avoid getting into debates with people?

[poetryandlyrics]

I think it's best to attempt to fix this because their may appear in your other/future relationships in a disagreement, being defensive, avoiding, wanting to win perhaps. I think a proper debate is when you can still control your feelings, know it's not about winning or losing but an exchange of opinions. Maybe you'll gain a new perspective or not or even strengthen yours. That's the mindset I took if I "debated," and I did with a few people before.

[Ayanokōji]

You debate with your friends because you feel comfortable around them.

 

You feel uneasy debating with people you don't know well because you fear they might take offense and you end up making an enemy.

 

I totally slaughter people at debates which is why I hardly ever debate, because random people get owned and get all pissy about it.

But with my friends in the intellectual category, I debate with them every chance I get, thats why we became friends in the first place =).

[LeilaKay]

Thank you for replying. I do think I need to fix something. Either learn to debate with less emotion and more strictly intellectually, or decide to only debate in friendly situations, where I won't get shaken up by the experience. Reading your posts helped make that clearer to me, so thank you!