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girl asking me to pick her up and fuss i got no car


joe45

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anyone h ere meet a girl from day2 and you go out one or 2 times and she wants you to have a car. to pick her up . i mainly tell girls to meet me at starbucks in downtown on this street at this time but a few girls i met who are chinese ask me if had a car and i said NO and wanted me to drive and pick them up from their house.

 

also another girl ------ one i went out with 2 xs she fuss always like when will i get a car and how much i got for a car. she always complain i had no car.

 

anyone here have this problem

 

i know some guys say oh next here and this and that but thats easy if you get lot of girls coming in from sarging or online game. i dont

 

I attract lot of gold diggers or materialistic girls/ want guy have car and like nice finer things in life like nice cars and stuff and im not rich at all. i just bus and transit.

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I'd say leave the Chinese girls alone.

 

I expect to drive myself to the first couple of dates... at least until I get to know the guy better.

 

Any chick who complains about you not having a car needs to be left where she is standing.

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It depends where you are. I wouldn't date a guy without a car but I live in a place where public transportation is very unreliable so you NEED a car. And I have a car myself. If I lived in NYC, I'd feel differently.

 

Are you in a large, metro city? If so, you shouldn't have issues finding someone who doesn't have a car because the public transportation is really good.

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I expect a man to have the same things I do...I own a car, a home, have savings...

 

A lot will depend on your age...when I was 20 I didn't care...but at 30...it's kind of a big deal. Date women that also don't drive...and are on the same socio economic ladder as you...then no one will be disappointed between disparity.

 

 

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

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I could really careless if my boyfriend had a car or not (and he doesnt btw). He prefers to walk places if he needs to go somewhere - our home town is a 20mins to 40min walk to almost anywhere and we walk if we can all the time - gas is expensive!

If I didnt work accross the city and have to make sure my son got to school on time and me to work, I probably wouldn't have a car period.

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I expect a man to have the same things I do...I own a car, a home, have savings...

 

Can you please explain this a tad more? Is this how most women are in general?

 

Sorry I am just trying to figure out why a man is judged based on the things he has. I have been in this situation before and have been frustrated ever since. I had just graduated during recession and struggling to find a job while she had a good job, car, etc. She constantly kept asking me when am I going to get settled. I finally managed to get a contract job and started earning but she still kept pointing out that I didn't have a laptop, car, a proper full time job and ended things with me.

 

I would really really like to know why women feel this way even though they talk about being modern and independent etc. Also men are referred to as being shallow because we consider women's appearance but aren't women also shallow if they judge men based on car, home, money etc?

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Wanting a guy to have a car doesn't make her a gold digger, lol.

It makes her a girl who wants a guy with a car.

Personally, I won't give a guy the time of day if he doesn't have a ride for a number of reasons.

This is all assuming you're like 21 & older, but I can't really decipher that from your post...

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For me, it's because I took a chance on my daughters father and got burned. He didn't drive...he lived in his parents basement...had a mediocre job when I met him. I used to look at people based on their potential...he's a smart guy...I figured he could do way more with his life if he had the opportunity. I helped him pay off $20,000 in back taxes he owed, my parents offered to pay for his education after he moved into my condo...I drove him around for 5 1/2 years...we split up and I ended up losing $30,000 to him in property and legal fees. I will never date someone that isn't at least equal to me fiscally. People are as they are and you have to take them at face value, not on their potential. They may never do anything with that potential.

 

I have my ducks in a row...there's just too much for me to lose in dating someone that doesn't put the same value on economic security as me. I have no idea how other women view it.

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We are all shallow to an extent... I would like a guy to have a car but I would not dismiss him if he was in the process of saving up for a car, so a big must is a JOB. If you don't have a job and you are trying to date, i would question your ability to prioritize.

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If you live in a rural or suburban area, a car is a neccesity. If you live in a real city, a car is a useless burden. Not sure where you live OP. Lots of a suburbanites move to cities and are unprepared for reality and have the same expectations they would as if they were living in their hometown.

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SilverFactory,

 

I feel the same way as faraday in that I like when a man is on the same "level" as me. Now, I might date a guy who is living at home with his parents but it really depends on the circumstances and if he's trying to move out.

 

I think in order to expect things out of a partner, you should have those same things yourself. Like attracts like. If you want a fit partner, be fit yourself. If you want a rich partner, make yourself as much money as you can.

 

I think it's absolutely okay for a men to consider appearances and reject a woman based on appearances. I've had it happen to me and I don't have an issue with it. However, in the same vein, I think it's okay for people to have standards when it comes to money and lifestyle. Is it superficial/shallow? Maybe a little, but standards are standards and I don't think someone should throw them all away in the interest of being "not shallow" and then end up with someone that they are unhappy with.

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Thanks for the explanations

 

If a guy lives with his parents and does not make any real effort to get a good job then that is some thing I can understand as I see it is very unattractive from a woman's point of view. But what I notice in general is women (not all) tend to judge men very harshly based on their job, money they make, car, etc.. I am struggling to understand why this is the case when women these days are modern, claim that they are independent and do not need a man, etc. Also I find it amusing that they keep saying men are very shallow and then turn around and demand that men have good job, money, car.. etc... basically all the material things.

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Silver,

 

I think it is okay for a man OR woman to want a partner who has money, a job, and a car if they themselves have those things. Many women are independent these days and have jobs, money, and a car and want a man who is EQUAL to them. That's all, really.

 

I have my own car and don't want to be the one driving ALL the time. But when I DIDN'T have a car, I was happy to date guys who didn't have cars.

 

And both sexes have the right to make choices based on looks too.

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Thanks for the explanations

 

If a guy lives with his parents and does not make any real effort to get a good job then that is some thing I can understand as I see it is very unattractive from a woman's point of view. But what I notice in general is women (not all) tend to judge men very harshly based on their job, money they make, car, etc.. I am struggling to understand why this is the case when women these days are modern, claim that they are independent and do not need a man, etc. Also I find it amusing that they keep saying men are very shallow and then turn around and demand that men have good job, make men, car.. etc... basically all the material things.

 

You're making an awful lot of generalizations -- all women don't claim not to need a man, and all women don't think men are shallow for factoring appearance into dating decisions. I'm 31, and while I don't need a man for anything financially, I want someone who is about on par with me where certain things are concerned... a good job, own place, car, savings, financially responsible, etc. I don't see that as shallow or materialistic, because it's not like I'm sitting around on my butt and expecting a man with all of that when I don't have it to offer myself. I don't ask for anything I don't bring to the table. Also, I'm at a point where I'd like to settle down and have a lasting relationship/family. For that reason, I want to build with someone who is equally financially stable and responsible.

 

And FWIW, I don't take offense to men OR women wanting to date someone they find attractive.

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Thanks Fudgie.

 

Sorry, not to mean to hijack this thread.. but Fudgie in the situation I mentioned who do you think was wrong?

 

I met this girl when I was just about to graduate from a Master's program. She lived in another state and already had a good job and a car. She constantly kept asking me when I will get a job. I found it very difficult as it was a recession and people were actually losing jobs. I moved to another state for job hunt and eventually found a contract job. She still was not satisfied.. she kept telling me that I am a pauper because I don't have money to buy even music speakers.. then she complained that I do not have a laptop. At one stage I asked 'do you even like me?' and she said 'I will learn to like you once you get a job and make money and buy things'. Finally she ended things with me leaving me devastated.

 

From that point on it started to bother me whenever I see/read women making such demands from men.

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I'm 31, and while I don't need a man for anything financially, I want someone who is about on par with me where certain things are concerned... a good job, own place, car, savings, financially responsible, etc. I don't see that as shallow or materialistic, because it's not like I'm sitting around on my butt and expecting a man with all of that when I don't have it to offer myself. I don't ask for anything I don't bring to the table. Also, I'm at a point where I'd like to settle down and have a lasting relationship/family. For that reason, I want to build with someone who is equally financially stable and responsible.

 

Thanks calichick007. That helps

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At one stage I asked 'do you even like me?' and she said 'I will learn to like you once you get a job and make money and buy things'. Finally she ended things with me leaving me devastated.

 

The underlying issue was that she did not like you. She perhaps was having a hard time finding anyone else and was trying to find ways to like you.

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I just got a car, but i really didnt need it for dating. I had women who lived 2 hrs away drive through traffic to spend time with me, and they were all women whos inboxs blew up every second and could have any guy they wanted. Most of my exs drove me around. I have only experienced one girl who didnt want to meet me because i didnt have a car - and she was a girl who kept hounding my inbox for 2 years and i would always ignore her - and i decided to give her a shot and she threw the YOU DONT HAVE A CAR???? SO I HAVE TO DO ALL THE WORK THEN, HUH?

 

Since i got the car i can now drive up to the date and say "whats up?" And then i am at a bar and i can barely drink because i have to drive back- and i worry about parking back on my street when i go back... yippie.

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I have dated gold-diggers too, there are certain ways you have to approach them. I dont usually play games - but with certain women, especially those who play games (like my ex who was a colombian silicone breasted i am perfect and every man wants me)- i play some serious games to the point that I turn the tables fast. They are only good for a few nights (really, really good nights...), find a good woman - treat her amazing, and fix your image of the dating world before it changes your perspective and you end up in knee-deep in something you cant crawl out of. Not every man is fit to play with wolves.

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You are trying to be rational about it, and human emotions are not rational. Sure, women are modern and independent now, and intellectually they might not need a man to make as much or more than them (they can "take care of themselves" and everything) but a guy who makes MORE than they do and can "provide" is going to be more attractive.

 

See this recent article. I'm not saying it is particularly well-written or anything, but read it and then read the comments, both in support of and against the author's thesis. There is definitely something going on: link removed

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