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Broken Up with Someone Who Doesn't Make Time For You?


jak3

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I don't want to do this but I don't feel I have much say in the matter. I am debating breaking up with my girlfriend of a few months because she won't make time for me.

 

When we're together everything couldn't be better. I asked her to put forth more effort in her schedule, she agreed but I have yet to see anything change.

 

At what point did you say enough is enough?

 

I don't want to be without her but I hate how this is making me feel. I lashed out at a friend recently because some minor thing she said just set me off. That's not me. I'm the happy guy in the office who gets high fives from his friends, laughs and smiles all the time. This experience is changing me for the worse and I don't like it.

 

Loving someone shouldn't be this hard.

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I dated someone like this once... I asked him to make more time for a me a few times and he would change for a few days but then back to normal. You should ask her where she sees the relationship going. For me, that was the deciding factor in breaking up with my ex. He said he wasn't sure, didn't want a relationship right now and wanted to focus on his career.

 

How long have you been dating and how often do you see each other?

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How long have you been dating and how often do you see each other?

A few months and it didn't start this way. We went from two times a week initially to twice in the last three weeks and, being practical, that may extend to three times in four weeks by the end of this one. I don't know how you build on a relationship when you're constantly reintroducing yourself to one another every week or so?

 

I've had that conversation with her. If she told me that she only wanted something casual then I would have broken up with her right then and there.

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I lashed out at a friend recently because some minor thing she said just set me off. That's not me.

 

Don't blame her not spending time with you for you lashing out. That's shirking responsibility and cowardly. So you are in a bad mood. Own it.

 

If you are unhappy and you have talked to her about it with no change, then it makes sense if you want to end it. You don't need anyone's permission.

 

Good luck.

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A few months and it didn't start this way. We went from two times a week initially to twice in the last three weeks and, being practical, that may extend to three times in four weeks by the end of this one. I don't know how you build on a relationship when you're constantly reintroducing yourself to one another every week or so?

 

I've had that conversation with her. If she told me that she only wanted something casual then I would have broken up with her right then and there.

 

Then, if you're unhappy with how things are going you should probably end it.

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I don't want to do this but I don't feel I have much say in the matter. I am debating breaking up with my girlfriend of a few months because she won't make time for me.

 

When we're together everything couldn't be better. I asked her to put forth more effort in her schedule, she agreed but I have yet to see anything change.

 

At what point did you say enough is enough?

 

When you say something to her, she agrees and then does nothing to change.

 

 

I don't want to be without her but I hate how this is making me feel. I lashed out at a friend recently because some minor thing she said just set me off. That's not me. I'm the happy guy in the office who gets high fives from his friends, laughs and smiles all the time. This experience is changing me for the worse and I don't like it.

 

Loving someone shouldn't be this hard.

 

 

You're in a one sided relationship. You are already without her. Wake up! She doesn't want to be in a relationship with you. If she did, she'd act like it.

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what is her R pattern? Is she more the avoidant type?

I had to google what you meant because I had no idea what it was.

 

I'm not a shrink but I think we both have tendencies to be an avoidant. This isn't me making excuses for anyone. It is solely the admission that I don't know and I don't want to assess blame on a condition that I did not know existed until about 30 minutes ago.

 

I agree with the rest of what you posted and a lot of previous posters here.

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You are already without her. Wake up! She doesn't want to be in a relationship with you. If she did, she'd act like it.

 

I agree. Twice in 3 weeks isn't a relationship but it's what she's happy with. In the meantime, you're not happy.

 

You might also read: link removed

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Start pulling way back. Mirror her

Which works in the short-term. Long-term she'll get back her version of normal. I know this because I've done it before. As soon as she feels that tug of abandonment then she's really attentive and opens up her calendar but it doesn't last.

 

I want a permanent solution. The only one that I can think of is walking away entirely.

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It's hard for me to pull that trigger even though I know that I need to.

 

I keep hoping that after this spell crazy schedules that we'll get to be in a normal relationship. It's that hope that is in direct conflict with what my gut is telling me to do. I don't want to do it ... I think that's what I keep coming back to.

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It's hard for me to pull that trigger even though I know that I need to.

 

I keep hoping that after this spell crazy schedules that we'll get to be in a normal relationship. It's that hope that is in direct conflict with what my gut is telling me to do. I don't want to do it ... I think that's what I keep coming back to.

 

this is the time in the R to pull back. you need to teach her how to treat you, have some boundaries. this will only get worse...trust me. what do you have to lose? if you continue down this road you lose her...if you back away a little you might have a chance. let her come to you.

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what do you have to lose? if you continue down this road you lose her...

I lose time and I don't intend to continue "as is". If she isn't prone to putting forth more effort then she's either going to accept that I will be seeing other women or I'll break it off entirely.

 

I don't mean to make that sound confrontational or demanding; it's just boiling down my decision to as few words as possible.

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I lose time and I don't intend to continue "as is". If she isn't prone to putting forth more effort then she's either going to accept that I will be seeing other women or I'll break it off entirely.

 

I don't mean to make that sound confrontational or demanding; it's just boiling down my decision to as few words as possible.

 

beautiful....be true to you

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