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does he like me?


ToriGomell

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well got a question for you guys, hope you can help me

 

recently, i started to like a friend of mine(i have known him all my life, but last 3 years we have become closer in friendship.) , but the thing is i'm not sure if he likes me :S i get mixed signs of him.

 

why i think he likes me:

-he askes me to hang out a lot, first with another friend togher but now we know eachother so good that we hang out only toghter to.

-when he looks at me, he stares for a long time and straight in the eye.

-he always teases me, and when he sees i get annoyed he startes lauging

-sometimes we have a kind of teasing play fight: example: he takes my phone and wants me to take it back from him, or wants to steal my scarf from my nek etc.

-he compliments me when i've done something good, or on my clothes like my scarf or my jacked.

-he didn't mind me feeding him a bit of his bithday cake

-he texted me randomly for no reason and sometimes we text for 3 hours long in the evening.

 

 

things i get confused about:

-he sometimes brings up his ex, for example, i wanted to play volleyball, and he says ohh then you will probably come in the team of my ex. but she isn't very good

-he says sometimes things like: yeah people of my team were being anoying, i was just talking to a girl which i know good and for a long time, and they keep saying isn;t she someting for you

-we were texting about what some friends were saying about me and a realationship, and i texted: so you guys were gossiping about me, and he texted back: i wasnt but whether now or later would want a relationship doesn't really matter to me.

 

well that's why i am confused, hope you guys can help me with my question!

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I think you need to ask him upfront if he's willing to call this friendship a relationship. The way you describe your relationship it really isn't a friendship anymore. Other than kissing you two are doing things that a person in a relationship does. I think it's time to just make it official.

 

As for the text, it's really vague as to what he meant there. I could take that to mean:

1) He wasn't gossiping about you but whether you would want to be in one or not doesn't matter to him.

2) He wasn't gossiping but whether he should be in one or not doesn't matter to him.

 

And the reason he would say something like this could also be because he wants to prevent a breakup with you by calling it a friendship but still do all the gf/bf stuff he would normally get out of a relationship. So for now he just wants to be in a relationship without calling it one and hope for the best.

 

In the long term this will not work the way it's working now so it's better to officially get into a relationship. You've already started to like him so if he does go with someone else you will get hurt and won't treat him the way you do now and then he'll care. If you get into a relationship he's not going to look deeply into your eyes anymore. And both of you won't admit to feelings to keep the friendship relationship going. But when either of you gets another person, they'll notice how you two are with each other and then this friendship will have to get a lot less "friendly".

 

Instead of being worried about rejection, what you need to do is explain what you have now and where it's going to go. Tell him that you have feelings for him right now, and the whole eye contact, teasing and everything else is working out well for you. But that stuff is reserved for a relationship and unless you two start calling it one, it will disappear. The friendship is going to go away anyway because it seems he likes you too. This needs to a be a relationship now before it deteriorates. I think he'll understand and want to be in one too. If he doesn't, you sure aren't going to continue guessing and feeling the way you do now.

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  • 4 weeks later...

thanks! sorry for the late reply, I was a bit bussy with test for my exams.

in the mean time i still havent told him, even through a some of things had happened

we had a play fight for about half an hour on the trampoline and when we were watching a movie together he teased me so we had a bit of a fight and i ended up laying my head on his sholder and i took his hand and holded it until the end of the movie. but you are right, when we are with friends it sometimes is hard to just act normal. not knowing how he feels kills me sometimes somehow i keep wondering my head :S next saterday he is going to teach me some volleyball moves because i just started that sport and he has been doing that for years, so i asked him to teach me some moves. i hope i will get the chance then, it is probably me who is going to say it because i do not expect to hear it from his mouth even after holding hands he kept on teasing me to touch me. do you maybe have some advise for me?

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