Worthy of my boyfriend?

[kmkpink]

I'll make this quick;

 

I have a Bachelor's degree in Linguistics. When I dreamt of going to college a BA meant something, as we all know now it does not and I can't even get a part time job in retail right now. I just lost my 30hr PT job (and to be honest I'm not too upset because it is a failing small business and they wanted a scapegoat and I was the most recent addition. So it is what it is).

 

My boyfriend; he is 8 years my elder. He spent four years teaching high school and then decided to get his Phd (which he will be accomplishing by May).

 

Therefore I'd call him a success, he has goals and dreams and he is reaching them. I had a dream and can't do anything with it in the area that we are; but we may be here for some time.

 

I feel as though at some point the fact that my career goals aren't in this area thus causing the stall in my 'success' is going to appear as laziness or unworthiness to the love of my life. I'm sure you will suggest to talk to him about how I feel but I feel like it just sounds more like insecurities or deprecation which is far from being attractive or a quality a man is looking for in a woman. I guess it is not entirely possible to be given comfort from those who don't know my relationship to a T and wouldn't think it'd be an issue if we were truly in love or meant for each other. I swear we are though; and I'm nervous that will get clouded by a misconception of my expressions of my need for him to know that I don't want to be Nothing in the world. He's going to be so accomplished and I just want to be with him. Someone so academically focused; are they going to want to be with someone that they can't have a vast intellectual lifestyle with?

 

Thanks

[annie24]

I don't know if this makes you feel better but people with PhDs lose their jobs too. It unfortunately happens a lot in this economy. Don't feel lame for losing your job. Just keep being a great gf.

[anjana1]

I don't know where you live, but telemarketing jobs are always hiring. Anyway, why don't you take a few more classes and volunteer to see if maybe there is another career path that you would enjoy. You certainly talk to your bf bc communication is key in a relationship and I think a healthy relationship means that you are open with one another and you help each other achieve their goals. If he knows how you feel you guys can start looking at things to make you feel successful , things that will help you work on yourself. He probably thinks thou are the most amazing thing regardless of what your life has throw you ... everyone has a difficult time in their life at one point or another, it just matters on picking yourself back up. If he is as amazing as you say, he will understand and want to be there with you during your journey to personal success.

[Lonewing]

You don't love a piece of paper.

[blueidealist24]

Your job isn't always an indicator of your worth, especially in this economy. If your boyfriend hasn't said anything or seemed resentful, he likely has no problem with your educational or work status. If he's eight years older than you'd he'd probably expect that he'd been further along, and wouldn't judge you for being "behind." If he did, that would kind of not make sense! Plus having a BA in Linguistics must mean that you're at least somewhat intellectual..

[SpottiOtti]

I think you are projecting your own fears that you won't live up to the potential you see in yourself onto your boyfriend.

[Ayanokōji]

Sorry, you just said that a degree doesn't mean diddly squat but when it concerns your bf, suddenly its a success?

 

Also Hes going to be so accomplished... Because hes teaching high school and decided to get his Phd?

 

There are countless men out there more successful than him and countless who are less successful than he is, there are countless women more successful than you are and countless less successful than you are... But in all fairness, teaching high school wasn't the first thing I would have thought was considered so successful that you feel unworthy :S. Whats the measure here? Is it how good he is at helping his students pass and taking pride in making a difference in the world? Surely it can't be the annual salary.

 

I feel that what I'm about to say will harbor some truth.

 

Your self esteem is really low due to you not being able to find a decent job after graduating, you majored in linguistics and your bf just happens to be an academic teaching high school...? Seems to me that you see him as what you were going to be, you are basically measuring yourself to him because you thought that he was the future you. Which is why you think you are so "unworthy", because you possibly see your current self as an underachiever and you see him as what you thought you would achieve.