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My girlfriend broke up with me and I don't know what to do


max374

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I had been dating this girl for a little over four months and was having the time of my life. We both go to the same school and have a lot of classes together so needless to say we saw each other a ton.

 

Recently, in between classes, she pulled me aside in a busy hallway, and told me that she felt that we should stop seeing each other. I started tearing up. She told me that she had just lost her feelings for me and that she still wanted to be friends because we have every class together and were essentially with each other a lot, and it would be weird if we weren't. I told her I was heartbroken and so upset. I honestly don't remember much of the conversation but I recall that the last thing I did was stare directly into her eyes and then I said, "Thanks," and walked away.

 

We had a class together later that day and I sit near her in it. I walked right by her to my seat and didn't even look at her. I'm not sure if she looked at me.

 

I'm absolutely heartbroken that she broke up with me, but I was completely devastated that she did it in the middle of the hall, in front of everyone. If we had been dating for two weeks then I could maybe understand her choosing that place, but we had dated for a long time and we had a very serious relationship. I felt completely disrespected and pissed off that she would do it to me in that manner. I don't want to say I didn't see this coming which you'll find out why as you continues reading.

 

The next day we passed each other in the hallway, She was with her best friend and another really good and I was with a friend. I looked straight ahead, refused to acknowledge her presence because I was still so upset, and walked right by her. We passed each other more times in the hall the day after the breakup than we did every other day during our relationship.

 

For the three weeks prior to the breakup, I could definitely tell that something was up but I wasn't really sure what. Her texts to me became "empty" and she would respond with only a couple words even though I would say a lot. In school she stopped laughing at some of my jokes, while others around her were cracking up at. And here's the kicker. She started flirting with another guy right in front of me.

 

There was this one guy. Decent looking. Weird. Honestly nothing special. Wasn't funny, wasn't smart. He just kind of lurked around. Well she would start talking to him instead of me when we were right next to each other. She would laugh at absolutely everything he said even though it wasn't remotely funny. I had talked to her about this before around a month ago. I told her that i thought this kid had a little crush on her and she said, "Really. Oh. Calm down. There's absolutely nothing to worry about." I took her word for it.

 

She mostly has guy friends which is something that upset me at first but I came tolerate as time progressed. The reason being she was shunned by her friend groups several years prior. At this time she had not hooked up with any other guys and to this day she still doesn't know why. But so she had a lot of guy friends, who for the most part they were actually genuine friends. Nothing more. She would tell me how so and so was hitting on her and I would ask if she wanted me to do anything about it and she would tell me to calm down and that it was really weird that they were doing this but that it was fine. She would later go on to tell me how much she missed hanging out with so and so (He's in college and he was visiting on break which is when she saw him. She also told me that she used to have a huge crush on him). So obviously I was really upset but i made sure to stay more alert. This happened a couple more times and I stopped calling her out on it because she would get mad at me. I'm a respectful guy so I stopped but this shows a lot about her character.

 

A week before the breakup she a snapchat and her "best friends" quickly became other guys. I was obviously worried but she said that they were just friends. She would ask other guys for their usernames right in front of me which pissed me off but I kind of just brushed off.

 

A few days prior to the breakup and after a class, we were walking together and she could tell something was up with me (This was right after a class where she flirted with another guy right in front of me). She asked me if I was ok and I told her that I felt she was pulling away from me because she was ignoring me and not answering my texts. I asked if I messed up and she said no. She told me she felt that I just needed to give her more space because we were with each other all the time. She said its not like were going to break up or anything but I just feel like you're suffocating me a little bit. I said I wish you told me this sooner because I would've backed off in a heartbeat and we made up and I thought everything was alright.

 

Two days later she broke up with me.

 

She was my first girlfriend and a lot of other firsts. I'm still madly in love with her but the more and more I talk about the breakup with other people, the more I'm coping with it.

 

I have yet to breakdown.

 

After the breakup a lot of people came up to me saying that they noticed something was up because would flirt with other guys. I also found out that while we were still dating she was a little more than innocently texting other guys and that on the day of the breakup, after the breakup, she started nonstop snapchatting other guys. Some of them my friends.

 

Knowing this actually made me feel a lot better because it made me realize that she just wants attention and hookups.

 

During our relationship there were several times where she mentioned past hookups and at times I felt that she was almost bragging. People have told me that she is known to only do things with guys so she can brag and talk about them with others. I told her I don't like her talking about it and she stopped with the exception of about two other times.

 

I realize now that I probably should've broken up with her or at least talked things out with her in a serious manner. I treated her like a princess. I always made time for her and always talked to her and she loved it. I had no reason to believe otherwise. There were no signs that I should've changed my approach.

 

I feel that we rushed into the relationship to quickly. A month and a half in i met her best family friends. A little while after that I met her entire family. We saw each other a lot and we talked and texted a lot and ultimately it wasn't really special when we saw each other.

 

The month before she broke up with me, our sex life just about completely died. It wasn't that she refused to do it, it was just that one week she was sick, and one she was too busy, and then she was on her period. I'm not sure if this played a role in it but this completely sucked. We used to passionately kiss a lot and around this time she almost completely stopped doing it and would give me pecks here and there. I asked her occasionally if we could just chill and make out and she would always come up with these bogus excuses like she doesn't want to because she's sexually frustrated. I would get upset and she would apologize and say that we would do it soon.

 

I also spent a lot of money on her. She would say we should go get some food and I loved spending time with her and so I agreed and I would always pay. I got her very nice gifts for holidays. And i just feel like she used me or exploited me for this. It pissed me off that she never reciprocated (Even though she had A LOT more money than me).

 

Her parents really like me. When we first started dating, a friend of her mother told me that the mom said that she hopes we meet again after college because I'm the kind of guy that she should marry. I was completely taken back and I know this is kind of weird, but it was somewhat bellicose but it was a huge compliment.

 

I developed a really really good relationship with her younger brother who also goes to the same school as us. I found out that when he heard we broke up, he said he would never talk to his sister again. I have talked to him a few times since the breakup but they have all been pretty brief. I know that my girlfriend wanted space, which is partially the reason she broke up with me and I don't want her to feel like that I'm intruding on her space because I'm talking to her brother.

 

Since the breakup a good amount of girls have started talking and flirting with me. I'm still in love my ex but I feel like hooking up with or just flirting with another girl would help me a lot. I know my ex is at least already talking with other guys and it pains me to think she is doing so. It just kills me inside to think that she'll most likely be doing stuff with other guys fairly soon. I feel like if I end up doing something with another girl she may get pissed and do stuff with other guys just to get me jealous. And I'm a really respectful, nice guy, and wouldn't do anything to hurt others.

 

She told me during the breakup that she wanted to be friends because we have every class together. At this point I'm not sure if I want to be friends with the same person who broke my heart. And if we do become friends, I want to become friends not because we have every class together but be friends to be actual genuine friends. We have a lot in common and get along really well. I'm just not sure if I really what to do that.

 

She won't talk to me which kind of pisses me off because she's the one who broke up with me. I feel like she should be the person to talk to me and see how I'm doing. I'm justified in not talking to her because she broke my heart. Were both very smart people and I can't tell how shes analyzing the situation.

 

I don't know if the opportunity presented itself that I would get back together with her. I'm constantly told by people that I'm one of the nicest kids they've ever met and that I'm a stand up, really respectful guy. Her friends are upset with her for breaking up with me because they thought she couldn't do any better.

I think she's perfect and amazing and the prettiest girl in the world and I still love her but I'm not sure what to do. I want to talk with her but for the time being I'm going to be friendly, say hi, and acknowledge her existence (Something that neither of us have done yet). I think that she should be the person to talk to me first because she broke up with me. I really have no idea what to do and how to approach the situation.

 

I apologize for the long story and I would greatly appreciate any advice.

 

Thank you guys so much

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You need to just step away and not contact her. Be polite if you run into each other, but you don't owe her anything more than that. Right not that might really seem difficult, but think about it in a long term context. 4 months out of the rest of your life will seem like nothing. Just give it space and time and focus on other things. It's nothing against you likely, she's just young and trying to figure out what she likes. It just wasn't a good match and now you both need space. Best of luck.

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