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Ex tells me he's pursuing someone. Why?


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Hi ENA people,

 

Rough Background: Dated for 4 intense months. I broke up with him twice (he was DEVASTATED) Stupid, stupid me. I try to get him back 5 months in an honest declaration of feeling "i'm fond of you" but he declines after being forced to give me a yes or no stating "i'm fond of you too but we've given us a go and we didn't work".

 

4 Months after the rejection i feel good that we're friends and one day mention in a msg "i'm glad any crap between us is now totally behind us. I'm chuffed to know you". He doesn't respond at first but instead posts a song about regretting a break up. Could be a coincidence..hmm..idk

 

So in total we've stayed casual friends 1.5 years. Always supportive and friendly. He often tells me how awesome and i think the same of him.

 

SOOOOOOO ETIQUETTE..

 

I've just received the following message from ex

 

"I'm okay. Work is slow but i'm getting there. I have finally written the main section for my thesis, its shaping up nicely.

 

I've started a funny thing with a girl. Funny because she lives in Canada. I met her at a conference and we started to chat via skype. I met her a again a few weeks ago and we had a wonderful time together. She's a cleaver, beautiful poet, and i like her a lot. And she likes me too, apparently. I feel kinda daft pursuing something with someone so far away, but hey ho...

 

hows things? x x x

"

 

EEEEeeeeerrrrr, what do i say? This is new ground. Do i encourage him? Why did he tell me. I've never told him when i'm dating. I still hold a little candle for him but its great if he's found someone he really likes. Congratulate him? I'm clueless at this.

 

I've been seeing a guy for 5 months now. Do i mention it?

 

ADVICE NEEDED, Pleeeeeease!

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Why does any of this matter to you if you're already in a relationship? What good can come from talking to him again. Let it go.

 

And also, you've been with this new guy for longer than you and your Ex dated. It doesn't seem fair to him to waste any mental energy on an Ex you briefly dated two years ago. How would you feel if the situation was reversed?

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Why does any of this matter to you if you're already in a relationship? What good can come from talking to him again. Let it go.

 

And also, you've been with this new guy for longer than you and your Ex dated. It doesn't seem fair to him to waste any mental energy on an Ex you briefly dated two years ago. How would you feel if the situation was reversed?

 

You're right, cutting all contact.

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SO, i have just found out from my exes sister that my ex was testing the waters to see if i was in any way interested in getting back together with him by sending the message i wrote in my original post. As a last ditch attempt before trying to move on.

 

I hurt him twice when we ended so i guess he was being cautious.

 

What should i do? I love him and want him back.

 

PLEASE HELP!

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He's treating you like a friend, which you said you were....

 

Where's the confusion?

 

His sister said he wants to be with me.

 

So, i just messaged him and he said "I've always regretted how we ended. I never really got over you. How do you feel?"

 

I'm in shock right now

 

He has never said anything like that before.

 

Woah. My heart is in my chest.

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He shouldn't be discussing his new partners with you, my ex did that too told me he got a bj and had sex, I didn't even ask for that much detail or wanted to even know, it hurt me but I wasn't moved on or dating another. Do you still feel more for your ex than your current, I say this because what he said seems to have hurt you?

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For the record, your heart is always in your chest. (I couldn't resist, sorry.)

 

If he wants to give things another shot, he'll say that. Saying he's sorry that things ended in the way they did doesn't mean that...so try not to read too much into it. He's fishing a little bit. You can be honest, but don't let your past feelings over-rule your present thoughts and what is best for you. You're the only one who is going to know what that is.

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He shouldn't be discussing his new partners with you, my ex did that too told me he got a bj and had sex, I didn't even ask for that much detail or wanted to even know, it hurt me but I wasn't moved on or dating another. Do you still feel more for your ex than your current, I say this because what he said seems to have hurt you?

 

No, my ex is not like that. We haven't been together for over 1.5 years.

 

I'm not hurt, i'm in shock. I never knew he still cared or wasn't over me.

 

I Love him and want him back.

I'M SOOOOOOOO HAPPY.

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For the record, your heart is always in your chest. (I couldn't resist, sorry.)

 

If he wants to give things another shot, he'll say that. Saying he's sorry that things ended in the way they did doesn't mean that...so try not to read too much into it. He's fishing a little bit. You can be honest, but don't let your past feelings over-rule your present thoughts and what is best for you. You're the only one who is going to know what that is.

 

For the record, your heart is always in your chest. (I couldn't resist, sorry.) I like that, i think i'll steal it

 

I'm going to call him right now. I'm so nervous !!!!!!!

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We've decided to try again. He told me he still wanted me, always has wanted me but i hurt him a lot.

 

We have both ended things with the people we were seeing. Not great luckily neither relationship was serious.

 

I have never been more happy and excited him my life!!!!

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