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Became really depressed because of prostitution and other stuff


diamondhead

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As I mentioned, I have tried this around 5 times and everytime I have never been able to get it up. Well the first time was ok since she actually talked with me a little bit and stuff. But after that I have not had any success. So again recently I tried to do with one prostitute and again struck a dead end.

 

The whole thing doesn't turn me on at all. I know it sounds stupid, why try it if you are not into it? Well I really don't have much choice at the moment and I thought maybe this time it would be different. It wasn't. There just isn't much time to be turned on and I can't really do it with a woman just like that.

 

So again I fell into depression. I then went to a club. Funnily enough, there was a fat girl who was interested in me for quite a bit of time. I danced with her quite a bit. And then of course, a guy who was with his girlfriend, came and he was hitting on this girl AND her friend. Yeah I know it sounds ridiculous but he did this when his girlfriend was not noticing or whatever. After a while, the fat girl became quite disinterested in me. I guess I am not that good of a dancer or a flirter for that matter. I tried my best. She went behind that guy finally even though he was clearly not interested.

 

So I was thinking - a guy who is with his girlfriend and who is hitting on her friend as well is preferable to me??

 

I just couldn't get over that. Of course I am not entitled to anything(please don't start that stuff) but I think that guy was not much more morally great anyway. But then again, who knows if I can actually perform even if she did a one night stand or something? Who the hell knows? Maybe she made the right decision.

 

Anyway after going to my room, I broke down and cried. I know rejection shouldn't phase me. But if that is the only thing I have seen in my life, it is hard. I started thinking again about suicide and stuff but again I thought about my dad and his problems. I am in a really tight situation here where I don't have the freedom to do what I want (suicide) because of other people.

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You think about sex way too much. (Almost every thread you've posted has to do with it.....) Focus on improving yourself and other things in your life, and the sex will come eventually.

 

Being a virgin isn't a bad thing. Don't let our hyper sexualized culture make you think you HAVE to lose your virginity NOW or it's the end of the world.

 

Sex is not the end all be all of happiness.

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You think about sex way too much. (Almost every thread you've posted has to do with it.....) Focus on improving yourself and other things in your life, and the sex will come eventually.

 

Being a virgin isn't a bad thing. Don't let our hyper sexualized culture make you think you HAVE to lose your virginity NOW or it's the end of the world.

 

Sex is not the end all be all of happiness.

 

Funny thing is I was somewhat depressed in my country. But about other things such as jobs and exams and so on. I did finally get a fairly good job and I was not so unhappy.

 

But ever since I arrived in Europe, I see all these people with girlfriends and so on and I can't flirt or attract girls the way they can. I just am not used to it, I try but I am not a pro, you know?

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I think you are focusing way to much on getting a g/f and having sex. Have you done any self-help classes? Find out where all of innerfeelings of being wanted is coming from?

 

I read a few of your other posts and you seem to think that what you see out in the world is how your life should be too because everyone else has it. I think you need to look at yourself as a person and love yourself before you can try n love someone else. The end of the post you said something about suicide, you need to go see someone and work on your issues that are haunting you instead of fixating on trying to find a women.

 

Love yourself first and worry about finding someone later.

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