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How to Fight Laziness? (Struggling here)


golda

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:suspicion:

I grew up in a family where most of the members are lazy, except my dad. Dad worked hard all his life. My mom was a trophy wife and she was very lazy. She always want to get things not by hard work, but through short cuts. My mom never cooked, never cleaned the house. She only sat on the couch watching cable or going out for lunch with her friends. Mom always told me that people that worked hard are very stupid because life should be easy and happy and that we must always use the shortcut to get the things or the lifestyle we desire. Mom doesn't believe in working you way up from zero. You should always look for a short cut in life. When looking at people who work two jobs or work hard, she always smirked "Why do they choose to live that way when there are shortcuts available?" She always said "Just make yourself look hot and you can have anything"

 

My ex boyfriend was a rock singer and his life has always been laid back, lazy and carefree. He never cleaned his house, never did errands he just enjoyed life and spent his time playing music, traveling, touring and having fun.

 

My brother never worked all his life. He's the follower of my mom and they both share the same principles in life. My brother always took the shortcuts. He only befriends rich people. He's currently becoming a "paid friend" for his jet setting former classmate. He gets paid, goes on free vacations staying in 5 star hotels, attends concerts, goes clubbing and partying every weekend..all paid by his friend..just for being a loyal entourage. His rich friend always need an entourage to keep him attending events and my brother has been living off his friend since high school.

 

It's very difficult for me to work hard since everyone around me is lazy and go for the easy life. I read a quote that laziness is a friend of poverty and I want to fight laziness. I am constantly being criticized at my job for being too laid back and slow. I want to change this situation. I want to be a hardworking, strong woman that can be independent living a happy life and not depend on people to get the things I want.

 

I was never taught the life skills to be tidy, to organize things..because my mom never did that and without help from the cleaning lady,the whole house is a super mess.

 

How do you fight laziness?

Do you have family members that are lazy & share the life principals similar to my mom? How do you change those principals when they are already introduced to you since childhood?

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It's all a matter of perspective. Being someone's lap dog and having to jump at their beck and call.....I wouldn't necessarily call that an easy life. It is work and frankly pretty hard work, but if your brother doesn't feel it's work, then that's great for him.

 

As for you, look outside your family for support. Many times, your boss, your manager, your supervisor - those people can be your best mentors when it comes to the workplace. So approach them about it, ask for guidance and for how to. If you show a genuine desire to improve and show true effort, as in you follow through on what is suggested, you'll find that people respond to that very well and will invest in you.

 

Another factor is that if you don't like the influence, then move away from that. Live your own life, make your own friends who are different from your family. Not saying cut off your family, just start living your own life while putting some distance between them and yourself. You mentioned that you dad is hard working and sounds like you are more like him. Why not look up to him for guidance? You seem bent on blaming your mother for your problems. The thing is that you are an independent adult. There is no reason for you not to learn how to clean or be tidy if that's what you want. It's not exactly rocket science. She taught you what she thought is right and it is what works for her. You don't like it, you are free to learn other things. That's what being your own person is all about.

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You have to want something to do it. You say you want to be a hardworking, independent person and not have live off of others. Then you need to figure out HOW to be that person - talk to people who are like that, ask how they do it, experiment on differnet ways to show independence. Best thing I can think of is to set a goal for yourself, something you might want to do like a trip, or buy yourself a new car, or get your own apartment or whatever and SAVE up for it. Don't allow hand outs from your parents to try and "help" you, you save for it ALL on YOUR own. This will give you a kinda of guartify feeling that you set out to do something and when you accomplish it, you can say I did this by myself! It will be a very liberating feeling.

 

I would also take yourself away from your family, not cut yourself off, but just away - far away if needed. You need to know what its like to be independent, to try and have to figure out how to do everything on your own. If you havent seen the show Broke Girls, I suggest watching it. For some reason that show popped into my head as I was reading your post.

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