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Think you're over it, then it hits you again at random


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7 weeks out. The pain is not as bad these days. As a matter of fact I thought I might be over it. It used to be 24/7 mind numbing pain which lessened over time. The last few days have been pretty good, It hasn't been on my mind. I've been able to focus recently and have been spending less time here.

 

Then out of nowhere, a thought or memory and bam. A whole rush of emotion just like it was weeks and weeks ago. The pain of this particular loss is unique but not new anymore. It's familiar when it comes on, yet still painful. I guess i'm not over it. It doesn't last long, just a quick break down.

 

I've heard of it before, recycled feeling etc. Maybe that's it. Sucks though.

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Ive been on the roller coaster of emotions as well its not a fun place your up one moment then the next your down. It sucks I know I try to go out and do something but then my mind gets going back to that place, so many questions left unanswered. I started working out 3 to 4 days out of the week put on some music you like nothing that reminds you of the ex of course till your ready for that try to do something that keeps you motivated its been almost 4 weeks since the break up for me and 4 weeks since I've been working out and I can see results in myself which helps.

 

All I can say is it does get better with time it just sucks that it takes so long.

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I've been nc this entire time other than 1 text some weeks back and I rang her once a few weeks later. Did not leave voicemail. We ended really bad. Just days after the abortion. I'm thinking about writing her. I miss her so much. I want to tell her I'm sorry and about all that I've learned in this time. You will all say it's a terrible idea. I hate this

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Yeah the No contact period does suck, what drives post people nuts and myself is the power lost they up and leave without caring about your emotions/feelings. It is strange how the world works though when you pull out and get on with your life you stop caring about them then the day rolls around where you get some type of communication from the ex, they want to talk made a mistake etc. Stay strong don't give into those urges you will feel better and stronger

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16 weeks out for me, but only 4 of NC. Not sure where that puts me on the healing timeline- I feel a whole lot better than I did at 7 weeks though.

 

I'm thinking about writing her. I miss her so much. I want to tell her I'm sorry and about all that I've learned in this time. You will all say it's a terrible idea. I hate this

 

It depends. I actually initiated NC with one last big C (a phone call). It allowed me to say things I'd held back in the past and get a bit of closure. But I don't think it would help anybody holding onto hope of reconciliation, so you'd have to be sure it's over. It's also possible that saying these things to someone else could have the same effect, since this process is really about you and not her. Most people will tell you to be patient and just give it time. That's a bitter pill to swallow, but maybe it is the only real medicine. Hang in there!

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It seems to be a common occurrence. I wish I was farther up the line. My bad day turned into a bad night. I would never commit suicide because of all the good things in my life that i've worked for and all the good things that are to come, let alone family. But when my mind is racing like that all night, sometimes I visualize ending it. In a way to just stop the torturous thought cycle. But then morning comes and things are slightly better. I must be living in a horror movie.

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6 months out for me and definitely still finding this.

I had a big breakdown tonight but I feel better now since letting it out..it's just part of the healing process I guess.

Same here, feeling better after a good cry. I wonder how men cope since crying is not manly. Social norms ugh

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