171 Posted February 28, 2014 Share Posted February 28, 2014 Greetings everybody, My girlfriend (23 years old) broke up with me (22 years old) 5 days ago, she said she doesn't love me anyome, but it was weird, like she doesn't know what to do. She feels good with me in the relationship, we had no fighting before this, our relationship was better in the past months. Our thoughts about life are similar, we always talked about our problems, trying to solve them. We really go along with each other. We are learning in a university, and she had an intern job but now left it, so she has a lot less money and this was what struck her 2 days before we broke up. She talked about not going to her friend because she would just spend money, i tried to calm her but didn't help, so we went to bed. Next day she told me she wants to be alone so i left, we didn't talk taht day. So here comes the next day which was 5 days ago when we broke up. She told me the thing i wrote, and taht she'll be done with the university in 1 year and she can't really count on me in life, cuz i have no job (i have 2 (max 3) years in the university), but then she said this isn't the problem, just that she doesn't love me anymore. It was just weird, she hugged me, stroke and held my hands as i said... By the way she has 1 or 2 people who are closer to her, but really i was the only one whom she told everything. So i talked about her what would happen if we meet a couple years from now, she was agonized that i don't want to speak with her for that time. I told her that i would need time and that what did she thought? that we would talk like nothing happened? She said she didn't think about it... I love her, i really like to talk with her about anything, she became one of my best friends (and i think this is a sign of a good relationship), but as i said i need time. A few days ago i checked her facebook, yes i know it's bad but i was curious whom did she tell the break up. She told her "best" girl friend, that we broke up but it was nothing serious. She has another girl friend who was on my gf-s room party with her boyfriend. I talked with them and they were really good guys, so i told my gf to meet with them, so they tried to get to a day consensus which was good for 4 of us. Anyway she talked with this girl before we broke up and my gf even said her that in 1 or 2 weeks will be good to meet.... SO i just don't know what the hell is with her. She talks about the meeting like she wants to go with me, like she doesn't even thought about breaking up on the next day, than on the next day she just tells me these things...... I want to get her back, i didn't speak with her since then, and i will not for a week more. I want her to feel my absence, maybe she'll text me until that. If not i'll text her something friendly... i really don't know how should i approuch this. Sorry for any grammar failings, english is not my main language. I hope i was clear on everything, and sorry for the long post, but i'm puzzled, i would like to hear your opinions about the whole thing and the solution. Thanks for your time guys/girls... have a nice day. Link to comment
lerenard Posted February 28, 2014 Share Posted February 28, 2014 You think about it too much. How it looked like to you doesn't really matter as long as she said I don't want to be with you, we are breaking up. If she misses you and thinks she made a mistake - she will reach out soon. Give it a month and move on. Link to comment
171 Posted February 28, 2014 Author Share Posted February 28, 2014 yeah maybe i'm really overthinking. :suspicion: At least we could be friends, maybe that would work out as i really like her way of thinking. But that could be only the desperation talking. Link to comment
jphcbpa Posted February 28, 2014 Share Posted February 28, 2014 your mind (really your heart) is playing tricks on you. my heart did this too. it was saying, "hey, maybe they really did not mean that...maybe I should have fought harder, tried to change her mind ect." It is a trick and not real. As mentioned about if she was not 100% sure and wanted to work it out, felt she made a mistake, she would/will be in contact. The best thing you can do is move on and go NC. If she broke it, it is up to her to fix it. Link to comment
mutiny Posted February 28, 2014 Share Posted February 28, 2014 I think you definitely are overthinking it. If she wanted to be with you she wouldn't have broken up with you. Whatever her reasoning was doesn't really matter. In order for yourself to truly heal and grow, treat this as permanent. Work on yourself and healing. Don't contact her. Maybe she will reach out to you again in the future, maybe not. Even if she does try to come back to you, I would wonder whether you could trust her anymore. Either way, this relationship is over so you need to heal and move on. Link to comment
Mari Posted February 28, 2014 Share Posted February 28, 2014 This sounds a lot like she met a guy at the internship and now that the internship is over she's having second thoughts about the relationship. Link to comment
FRDM Posted March 1, 2014 Share Posted March 1, 2014 This sounds a lot like she met a guy at the internship and now that the internship is over she's having second thoughts about the relationship. I'm sorry but this. I'm 23. same situation. very long relationship. also my best friend, living together etc. I also have a lot of uni to do and she was about to graduate. the world is open to her and you're grounded to this place. she's letting go of her anchor (you) and setting sail accross the ocean of life. if there is anyone else they're merely a catalyst. It's been a year since we broke up and I still feel pretty . Hope things work out for you as an individual. Most important thing here is to make sure your uni work is still of a high standard! all the best. Link to comment
171 Posted March 1, 2014 Author Share Posted March 1, 2014 your mind (really your heart) is playing tricks on you. my heart did this too. it was saying, "hey, maybe they really did not mean that...maybe I should have fought harder, tried to change her mind ect." It is a trick and not real. As mentioned about if she was not 100% sure and wanted to work it out, felt she made a mistake, she would/will be in contact. The best thing you can do is move on and go NC. If she broke it, it is up to her to fix it. she is definitely telling me the truth if she wants to be friends, i know this. but i'll wait for ther to contanct or just talk with her next week. This sounds a lot like she met a guy at the internship and now that the internship is over she's having second thoughts about the relationship. she doesn't met anyone, she has 2 people to whom she talks, pluss me, thats for sure. Link to comment
171 Posted March 1, 2014 Author Share Posted March 1, 2014 I'm sorry but this. I'm 23. same situation. very long relationship. also my best friend, living together etc. I also have a lot of uni to do and she was about to graduate. the world is open to her and you're grounded to this place. she's letting go of her anchor (you) and setting sail accross the ocean of life. if there is anyone else they're merely a catalyst. It's been a year since we broke up and I still feel pretty . Hope things work out for you as an individual. Most important thing here is to make sure your uni work is still of a high standard! all the best. thanks for the positive comment yeah maybe she thinks this way, i just hope we can make this relationship work again i can change her mind about this nonsense (in a way it's a nonsense) Link to comment
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