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A more positive Goodbye. What next?


Michael 93

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Those who have followed my story will know its been a rocky couple of months. I've been up and down up and down

 

But last night myself and ex finally said our goodbyes. Today I feel weird, very weird. I have tried literally everything possible to get this girl back in my life. Nothing has hurt me more than this, It is actual physical pain.

 

We spoke last night (after running half a mile to a payphone!? Desperation or what!? ) We talked and again I explained I just wanted to talk to her and see how she was. WE spoke and I asked her if she managed to get the text picture message I sent her. I do a really good impression of Bane from Batman and I sent her a meme of Bane with one of our funny memories on there. She laughed and said yes I received it. We spoke and I explained how important she was to me and the special impact she had on my life, I told her if ever the day come she needed to talk I was always there. She said "i know Michael i know how much you care. We just both need to move forward now don't we, I have tried to be there for you but I cant do that anymore" I told her she was and will be very special to me and although a lot has happened since the split I cannot just forget. I said I really did think I was "the one" for you and she said "you was". Its been almost two months now though. I said I know it has and I am trying. I asked her if it was so easy to move on from me because she was interested in going into another relationship and she said "no but our relationship was over a long time before we split Michael, it just wasn't working" This does sound a lot worse than it was by the way. But it was a down to earth conversation and very adult.

 

I asked if she wanted someone else? She said its not about that "but me and him are in fact now seeing each other" I replied with okay then I hope he makes you happy (genuinely) I said goodbye and told her I would never forget her.

 

There is literally nothing else I can try to do to get this woman back. I miss her incredibly and the memories we have will never go away. I'm upset that shes seeing him now because the times we have spoke shes stated it isn't serious and she doesn't want him, when I've asked if he was just to get over me she has refused to answer and said "i didn't need to know". I know he will not let her go and she is going to be so happy and it hurts like hell because I wish I was the man to do that for her.

 

She knows how much I care and how hard I have tried. Now I am going to start a STRICT NC (believe me Chi) do you think that one day she will realise how much I loved her? Not sure where to go from here. In a pretty bad place at the moment.

 

Thanks to everyone for their support so far. I really appreciate it. God bless.

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Hey michael,

 

I do not know your story, I have only read this thread but I know how you feel.

An ex of mine ( of 4 years ) broke up with me out of nowhere ( at least from my side ) and I was devastated. I told her that she was the one, I would always love her, no other girl would ever take her place and so on. Bull ( Excuse my French ).

 

Sooner or later you will find another girl which will make you think of her 24/7 and not have time to think of your ex. I

n the future you will be talking about your ex with your friends and laughing at all the stupid things you did to get her back, I promise you this.

 

As for is she will ever realise how much you love her, she probably already knows how much you do, she just doesnt feel the same way for you bro. And its absolutely normal.

 

Be a man and let her be, even if you ever see her or talk to her, be as casual as you can be. Dont ask her about this new guy, dont act needy and devastated. In my mind, men say goodbye only once, since you did say that to her there is no coming back.

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Nothing to do now.... other than stick to NC.

 

Please. PLEASE. No more contact.

 

Now your only job is to focus on YOU and YOUR healing. Make sure she's blocked on every site you use online. Make sure any mutual friends are blocked as well. Create a bubble of safety around yourself so you can really start to heal and come to terms with this breakup.

 

Have you read through this guide? If not, now is the time: link removed

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Hey man thank you for reading. I hope thats what happens. Seems so far away at the moment but I am scared it will never come. The way me and this girl met was magical and those kind of opportunities do not come along every day. I guess you just dont know whats round the corner.

 

I hear you man. I hope she never forgets the times.

 

I will do. Strict NC is my only way now. Ive done everything else possible..

 

Thank you man hope you are feeling better

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Thank you Sharky.

 

I appreciate your support since the start of this "ordeal"

 

Thats all I can literally do now man. I hope she realises one day how much I adored her.

 

Everything is blocked. Hence the only way able to contact her is payphone!!

 

I feel as if I am losing however as I cant seem to get her out of my mind. Is this a form of NC???

 

What do you advise.

 

All the best Sharky

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The only advice someone can give you is to do as many things as possible during your day time so that you are constantly busy and outside your place.

 

I was working at the time she broke up with me so 8-9 hours of the day I had to be moving all the time, then I would hit the gym for a couple of hours, then coffee/beer with my mates and would return home exhausted just to sleep at night.

 

Now a year and a few months later, I have already had a couple of short term relationships, went to trips with friends, really have the time of my life. I have taken up new hobbies, met new people, got a career job. Life does get better bro.

 

Edit : We are close to same age, I am 23, so I can relate to you more than you can think.

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The slight problem is. She works for the same company as me. Different location but same company. It isnt that big either.

 

She was the love of my life man and I miss her extremely. But there is nothing else I can do anymore.

 

I intend to try and handle it the way you have. That will be my approach. Thank you,

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The love of your life WON'T break up with you.

 

Do your best to avoid any contact with her through your work. Many people move on after breaking up with people they either work with or co-parent with. It's something you need to make allowances for, but it can be done.

 

Try to keep your focus ahead -- on the future, not the past. Don't expect to be instantly *over her* in a few weeks. You're in for a rough patch now as you adjust to your first real period of No Contact. It's hard at first, but it gets easier. Just take it a day at a time and do your best to feel as good as you can.

 

If you're not working out hard everyday already, now is the time to start!

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You seem very fixated on the idea that she needs to know or realize one day how much YOU loved HER. Blunt truth? It really doesn't matter how much you loved her. She wasn't in love with you anymore.

 

It's not enough to just have a guy who adores you...a woman needs to desire her partner too.

 

Nobody in this situation has to settle. One day you will both find partners who treat you well and love you AND that you are also wild about in return. Then you will know true happiness and neither of you will waste time thinking back to this relationship that didn't work out.

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