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Help me with my "bestfriend predicament"! please


lostenigma

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Hi, please help me resolve my problem.

 

I am secretly in love with my bestfriend. She is my classmate in junior high and we are really close. She used to date one of our upper class man, who is also a great friend of mine. They are really good together! Around college, they broke up. I admit I was kind of delighted knowing I could finally have a chance. For months, we had become closer. I plan on expressing my feelings to her, however, she is dating my friend again. I know this sounds rubbish but I really want to be happy for them no matter how hurtful this would be to me because they are perfect fit for each other.

 

My question now is, how would I shutdown my feelings or how can I stop myself from getting hurt. Please help

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Why can't you tell her your feelings? You are not asking her to break up with her bf to accommodate you, you are just letting her know your feelings for her yeah?

 

Lets see all the possible options and scenarios here.

 

1. You keep your feelings secret and continue being her friend, you are hurt and jealous all the time around her and are unhappy.

2. You keep your feelings secret and go N.C and stay away from her, you move on and eventually forget her.

 

3. You tell her how you feel about her and she rejects you, you now have certainty so you remain friends with her because shes a good friend. You no longer need to feel jealous because you already know she isn't interested in you with absolute certainty.

4. You tell her how you feel about her and she rejects you, then you go N.C, move on and forget her.

5. You tell her how you feel about her and she happens to feel the same way about you, she breaks up with her current bf and dates you instead.

 

 

Pick the scenario you like the most and go with it =) remember that life is a risk, the higher the risk the higher the reward and how much risk you take is entirely up to you =).

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Afraid I have to add one more here:

 

OP tells girl how he feels. She does not feel the same and the friendship never recovers from this awkward confession. OP also gets a call from his friend saying "Dude, how could you hit on my gf?? I thought you were my friend!" OP is out two friends

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Afraid I have to add one more here:

 

OP tells girl how he feels. She does not feel the same and the friendship never recovers from this awkward confession. OP also gets a call from his friend saying "Dude, how could you hit on my gf?? I thought you were my friend!" OP is out two friends

 

Yep, this is the likely outcome of THAT--especially if someone has the nerve to disregard the girl's current relationship with someone who thinks of him as a friend.

 

I don't see any 'wins' in that scenario.

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