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I apologize for this being really long, but I feel that I need to explain it all and that this is the only way someone can really help me out.

 

Back in July 2012, is when I first started hanging out with my now ex. A friend of mine introduced us when we all went to the movies together. He was 19 at the time, and I was 18. He added me on Facebook, and we started talking that way. At first I didn't even really give him the time of day, because I was cheated on and broken up with previously, and I never wanted to be hurt again. But the friend that introduced us told me that I should give him a chance because he's a really good guy. So I did. About a week after the movies, he invited me to go out and do something together. It was the greatest first date I'd ever been on. (glow in the dark mini golf, getting to know each other at a coffee shop, followed by a movie). After that date, we were pretty much texting everyday. A few days after, we went out again. We were going to go to the drive-in. He picked me up early so we had about an hour to kill. We went to the park and walked around for a bit, holding hands, and got to know one another more. Later on we got to the drive-in, sat in the backseat of his car watching the first movie and cuddling. When the movie finished, there was a short intermission before the next one. We got out of the car, stretched our legs for a minute and got back in. When the second movie started, it was one we both already saw. We both looked at each other and started kissing. That pretty much went on during the whole movie. After it was over, we took our time waiting for everyone else to leave so that we could continue kissing. Finally, he took me home. Two days after that, he asked me to be his girlfriend. Before I accepted, I reminded him that after I did my one year college program close to where he lived, I'd be moving about two hours away to start a new program at a different college. He still wanted to be with me, so I happily accepted.

 

Our whole relationship was about 99% always good. We never fought, and when we couldn't see one another, we were texting all day everyday. If we ever had any problems in the relationship, we would talk things out and solve them. He was genuine, and he really seemed to care about me a lot as I did for him. We were in love. Everyone that knew us said we had the perfect relationship, and they were pretty much right. Now that I look back though, there were a few things that weren't so great. We didn't get to see each other as much as I wanted. He lived an hour away from me, and was the only one of us with a car. Another thing was his mother. She was really controlling over him. I could kind of understand that because one of her other children had passed away about 7 or 8 years ago I believe. But, considering that he was legally an adult I felt that he shouldn't have always had to listen to her. She was just too overprotective, and I think he felt obligated to listen to her since he was still living at home.

 

Now that I've explained our relationship, I'll go into the breakup.

 

I finished school in April 2013. My parents had moved close to where I was going to go to school in September. I moved in to their home in May. My ex and I both tried to see one another as much as we could. He would drive to me, and stay a weekend, or I would take the train down to stay with my sister, and be able to see him. The end of June is when things started to get bad. He started to message me less and less. I would try to talk to him, but he didn't talk as much. We saw each other the beginning of July, and I stayed at his house. Things were really great. It was like any other time we were together, but I still asked him if we were okay and if he still wanted to be with me. He said that everything was okay with us and that he did still want to be with me. It was a short conversation (shorter than I wanted), but we left it at that. I went home a few days later. At the end of July, things just weren't right. I wanted to sort everything out before our upcoming one year anniversary, and our mutual friend's wedding (the one who introduced us). So I called him. I told him that I was upset about how we weren't communicating very much like we used to, and that the distance was getting to me. He was upset too. We were on the phone for over an hour which resulted in us mutually breaking up. We were both crying (and he is not the crying type). He told me that waking up everyday without me beside him was disappointing. He also said that I would always have a special place in his heart, and in his exact words "I found you once, and I'll find you again." A few days after the breakup, we were texting each other. I asked him how he was, and he said that he was still really upset. He reassured me that I most definitely do have a special place in his heart, and he requested that I don't ever forget him. He also said that we should text each other to make this breakup a little easier.

 

Weeks later, was our mutual friend's wedding. I was a bridesmaid. He showed up to the wedding with one of his guy friends, and we were all supposed to sit at the same table. I was put in between him and his friend. The whole thing was awkward. We barely spoke. Because I had no way of getting back to my sister's house, I asked my ex a week before the wedding if he could drive me there. He agreed. The ceremony was about an hour away from my sister's. We left the wedding early. I began telling him that I wanted to get back together. The whole conversation didn't go so well, he rejected me as nicely as he could. I was crying the whole way to my sister's. And he even had tears coming down his cheeks at one point. When we got to my sister's, we got out of the car and continued the upsetting conversation. He kept apologizing, gave me a hug and said what he said before, the whole "I found you once, and I'll find you again," thing. I walked up to the house and he drove away.

 

A few weeks later he texted me, telling me about some health issues he was having. Which I don't even know why. After that we messaged each other every once and a while. He texted me when my grandma died in September sending his condolences and seeing if I was alright. He also texted me in October on my birthday, being the first out of everyone to wish me a happy birthday. And at the end of October, since he wasn't responding to any of my messages, I told him that if he didn't want to talk to me anymore, to just tell me. He responded saying that it wasn't that he didn't want to talk to me, that he was just always busy. We haven't talked since then.

 

Anyway, I again apologize for this being probably way longer than it should be. I just wanted to tell the whole story. I guess what I want to know is if anyone has similar experience from this. I'm still not over him, and I don't know why. There's just something that's telling me that he and I are supposed to be together. I don't know. I just need some input.

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I'm sorry you're going through such a hard time.

 

It's important to remember that missing someone doesn't necessarily mean you're *meant to be together*.... it only means you're missing someone.

 

The best way for you to heal is to end this intermittent contact. It only gets your hopes up -- and makes it easier for him to get over you. It's not really fair for him to keep you on the backburner or offer up "maybe someday."

 

Here's a guide that will help you: link removed

 

Keep posting!

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