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Title says it all.


So I am 23 my ex is also 23 ( I know I am young and I've heard that enough if its meant to be its meant to be etc) I know what I want in life I want to find someone to be with I've had my fun out dating and fooling around.


So here is my story, I met this girl back in October she added me on facebook we had mutual friends in common, so i messaged her we started talking we didn't meet up till November we went to the movies and out to dinner with her friends that are a couple we hit it off had a blast. The more we talked or spent time together the more we had in common.


Some background on her

She had a dui when she was 19

She was in nursing doing well had her own place and car

Her mom passed away from cancer shortly after

She lives with her grandparents her dad is alive but not in the picture.


So middle of November her bestfriend ask if we are dating when we are all out together she just looks and me and smiles and we make it official at this point. I meet her family she meets mine over the holidays I feel like everything is going great. We didnt really fight or have disagreements she would stay with me Tuesday-Friday morning have to work the weekend and usually monday if she didnt work tuesday we would be together monday night as well I would have to work days Friday-Tuesday. Till she said to me about not having much time to herself I didnt think about it cause if we both said we missed each other then we made time to see each other. So January comes around I wasn't doing anything for her not to trust me she would be at my place even when I was at work but she got into my phone seen old pictures it made her mad she left while i was sleeping I wake up find shes missing i go meet up to talk with her everything seems fine I feel like because of it. So the one Thursday morning she wakes up and she says shes in a bad mood we had a great night prior no problems I didnt understand so we argue a little bit and I told her I would take her home since she wasn't happy at first she didnt want to leave but then I told her to pack up her stuff. So its a little rough over the weekend we are still talking and texting like normal we meet up Monday for dinner then I pick her up Tuesday. We had a good time I get ready to take her home Thursday she packs up her usual stuff but leaves her hair spray on my dryer puts her full bottle of body wash in the shower. That night I text her later on asking her if it bothers her that I am not like her x-bfs she said "Change is the only thing in life i can accept and apparently what i was doing before wasnt working"


I am not sure how many times through out the relationship I heard "You treat me so good why" or "Your not like anyone else Ive dated" She wouldnt ask me for stuff I didnt ask her for things but she would help out here cook clean laundry etc.


Saturday comes around we only text once the day before which was short i said have a good night at work she responded thanks babe i am here now. We used to text all the time I would tell her she was beautiful or gorgeous she would say stop no im not or she would call me handsome.

So I text her that morning to see what she was working she told me she was going in at 2 well i get off I call her house around 3 to ask if it was alright if i dropped off flowers and a card at her house her grandma said sure thats fine but I am about to go pick her up for work.


So i call her phone and text with no response then she calls back and says "I feel like your smothering me I need some time and space" So I am gullible you could say to a point I dont want to believe that she is talking to someone else but I back up I dont push anything she calls me after work and tells me " You know I love you and I care about you but I think i need some time and space to myself" I tell her I understand if you want to talk to me you know how to get a hold of me.

I go a few days she texts me Wednesday asking about her laptop I just fixed it wasnt working again so it was short.

I text her Monday seeing she posted she had gotten a new job I congratulated her asked how the family was she returned with the same messages I asked her if she was free that night she said she was with a gf but she was free the next day.

I wake up Tuesday morning to see her facebook in relationship with some new guy. I am devastated crushed not counting that the week prior I took her out before we broke up bought her a new cell phone and at this point I had already ordered her flowers for valentines day.

I deleted her off facebook leaving the message " I didnt think you was like this really thought you was different maybe if i was more of a you would stuck around good bye" She responded "I do care about you its not like that i didnt start talking to the new guy till after we broke up"

I stop writing back a few messages later she messages me the next day thanking me for the flowers and candy I didnt responded again.

So its Feb 16 she texts me "Hey whats up" I responded "Nothing who is this" It was her a few short messages I ask her did she want or need something. She responded "No i was just seeing how you are I care about you" I told her if she really wanted to know to call me so she did after i told her i wasnt going to yell at her or tell her off which i never did.


I told her how i felt how much she hurt me how much i did care about her how i havent been eating sleeping etc. She comes back with "I know where your coming from right now I've been there your missing something in your life its not a relationship" So that ninjas the hell out my head at this point and to follow it up she hit me with the I still love and care about you ( I have not told her I love or care about her since the night we broke up when i read the note i had for her)

So she ask if I still want to be friends at this point I said IDK i have to go.

I haven't heard out of her since I haven't made no effort to contact her since I am familiar with the "No contact" period and no one wants a desperate guy. I am just so confused she told me I was the 5th guy she has been with all her other exs cheated on her and treated her like crap. She was always a speed skater and she knew people in the Olympics and since the accident it screwed her on skating.


I take it that she was talking to this guy a week or more prior to use breaking up, the guy looks like a douche bag so she went after the bad boy again


So I packed up her few things that are here I need to go pay my rent in the next day or 2 I am thinking of just dropping it off I dont want to see her or make any contact with her just give her the stuff so I dont have to worry about it any more.


So any advice, input, or questions anyone has is appreciated at this point i know

Sorry I know its a lot to take in

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Wow, I'm sure it's not what you want to hear but you really dodged a bullet there. This is not a person you want to be trusting with your heart -- she's a liar and a cheater. Even if she wasn't officially "dating" this other guy before she asked you for space, she was at least emotionally cheating on you with him. Ugghhh.


Another hallmark of a cheater is the blame-shifting back on to you: it's not the breakup you're upset about.... it's something else that's missing in your life? Please.


I'm sorry but you don't deserve to be treated that way -- not by anyone. I understand this is still fresh and there's a lot of conflicting emotions, but I hope you're not feeling confused about whether or not to have anything to do with her from now on.


For now, your best bet is to disappear from her world and make her disappear from yours. Good for you for not agreeing to be "friends".... it wouldn't bring her back and would only cause you pain. All "friends" would do is make her feel less guilty about lying and cheating on you.


Here's a guide that will help you: link removed


Keep posting!

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Thanks for the input sharky988 I am about to drop off her stuff just so I am not holding on to anything and it doesn't give her a reason to try and talk to me. Ill come to terms with it, it just sucks how one can be so happy and everything seems great then to nothing I thought I knew her

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Just a quick update i did take her stuff back today her grandma answered the door as i already put the stuff in the door and was just about to leave i kept it short "Heres her stuff, I had to come pay my rent, i wouldve called but i have no #s, it was nice seeing you I have to go". She said thanks and it was nice seeing you 2. I felt a since of relief after leaving I also realized i had her address saved in my gps "my boo" which i deleted I already removed her accounts and stuff from my computer long ago. I removed her best friend from facebook as well so I am not tempted and there's no spying on her end.

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