Chelsea1987 Posted February 27, 2014 Share Posted February 27, 2014 Hi everyone, For those of u who remember my last post I did decide to end things with the girl I was seeing as she was infact very unstable! Thanks for your help. Last week I met up with a girl who I've been talking to online for a few weeks now. We went out for a drink had a great evening and we went out again this past Tuesday night. Again we had a great night lots of laughs and I felt their was a connection. Usually on the 2nd date if things were going well I'd go for a kiss at the end of the date but when we said our goodbyes it didn't feel like I got an opportunity to. Later that night she thanked me for dinner (I payed) and she said she had a lovely time. The next day I text her again and asked if she would like to go out this Saturday. She agreed but wasn't she what time as she was helping a friend move out but if she couldn't make it she said about meeting up a day in the week instead. Two things are bugging me. 1, we didn't kiss at the end of the 2nd date so I'm not sure if she's into me? It was a quick hug at the end. 2. She very really initiates contact. It's pretty much always me and il leave it a day or 2 and then il text her first. I haven't text her today and unsure if I should tomo or wait for her to text me? I just don't wanna seem to much by texting first all the time and thought Mayb I should let her contact me? Thanks guys!! Link to comment
missmarple Posted February 28, 2014 Share Posted February 28, 2014 Not everyone kisses on the second date. Since she wants to see you again, I wouldn't worry about it. About initiating contact, I also don't do it at first. If you go on 2-3 more dates and she still expects you to contact her, then, you can start worrying. For now, everything seems to be going well Link to comment
Chelsea1987 Posted February 28, 2014 Author Share Posted February 28, 2014 Missmarple how come some girls don't like to initiate contact at first? If you like a guy why would you not contact them til after a few more dates? This is the first time I've dated someone who doesn't initate contact first so I'm not sure how often to text! Link to comment
lerenard Posted February 28, 2014 Share Posted February 28, 2014 I agree - its only been TWO dates. You expect too much. It seems like she has stuff to do in her live right now, so dating isn't her first priority at this point (as it is for you if you jumped back into it right after a break-up). BUT it also seems you guys had great time, so don't rush things, go with the flow. Saturday is tomorrow. So wait till tomorrow, and then message her if she has time or if you should move it to another time. But do it casually, not like you`ve been biting your elbows, waiting for her to call. Link to comment
Chelsea1987 Posted February 28, 2014 Author Share Posted February 28, 2014 I haven't had a break up? I was seeing someone for a couple of weeks last month that was all. I didn't Evan think this girl would meet up with me but I thought I'd ask her out as I had nothing to lose. I agree it's only been 2dates usually I would just go with the flow but I like this girl quite a bit so prob just over thinking things. Link to comment
lerenard Posted February 28, 2014 Share Posted February 28, 2014 Ending things with somebody counts as a break up for me, sorry if I misunderstood. You mentioned it here for some reason though. I didn't think this girl would meet up with me Why? You said you had great time. Link to comment
Chelsea1987 Posted February 28, 2014 Author Share Posted February 28, 2014 I suppose but I just wanna make things clear that I am emotionally ready for a relationship and it's not like I was on a rebound from seeing someone else. To me u have to be in a relationship with somebody to break up with them but everyone's views are different 😀 I didn't think she would meet up with me again because she has her own place, great career, very good looking and I don't have all of those things so I guess I'm doubting myself a bit that's all. I'm just not used to a woman who doesn't text much after a 2nd date. The girls I've dated before have text a lot more but as u said maybe she has other things going on in her life that keeps her busy Link to comment
lerenard Posted February 28, 2014 Share Posted February 28, 2014 She told you that if she has no time on Saturday - you will rearrange, right? But I doubt it she will just ignore you and leave you hanging for the whole day and then write you or call you. If she has no time - she will let you know, right? Link to comment
Chelsea1987 Posted February 28, 2014 Author Share Posted February 28, 2014 That is very true! Link to comment
Chelsea1987 Posted March 6, 2014 Author Share Posted March 6, 2014 Hi guys quick update. She let me know she couldn't do the sat night so we we went out Tuesday night instead. We went out to a pub had dinner and a few drinks. Again a nice evening. No kiss at the end of the date, we text each other thanking each other for a nice evening. I haven't heard anything from her since Tuesday night as I've said before I'm always initiating contact so I'm hoping she will text me for a change. I'm not sure what to think at the moment. I like her but it's hard to tell what she thinks. Am I best just waiting for her to contact me and arrange date number 4 for a change? Instead of me always contacting her and arranging dates? Link to comment
jak3 Posted March 6, 2014 Share Posted March 6, 2014 Hi guys quick update. She let me know she couldn't do the sat night so we we went out Tuesday night instead. We went out to a pub had dinner and a few drinks. Again a nice evening. No kiss at the end of the date, we text each other thanking each other for a nice evening. I haven't heard anything from her since Tuesday night as I've said before I'm always initiating contact so I'm hoping she will text me for a change. I'm not sure what to think at the moment. I like her but it's hard to tell what she thinks. Am I best just waiting for her to contact me and arrange date number 4 for a change? Instead of me always contacting her and arranging dates? If you get the chance again you're going to have to create your own opportunity to kiss her. Three dates and no touching/kissing means you've demonstrated that you can carry on a conversation. Great! But most people have platonic friends to fill that role. What's to lose by presenting yourself as a man who physically desires her? She'll get turned off by how fast that you're going and never speak to you again? Wouldn't you want to know that as soon as possible anyway? The pros outweigh the cons here. Link to comment
Chelsea1987 Posted March 7, 2014 Author Share Posted March 7, 2014 So u recon for me to organise date 4 and hopefully have another great evening and just go for it at the end of the date? Link to comment
taipan Posted March 7, 2014 Share Posted March 7, 2014 Being a guy you should have no problem organising dates, it shows confidence to contact her first and if she's unsure if you like her it helps show her then too. Just contact her and organise it. Regarding the kissing, current girlfriend we never had a proper kiss until our 4th date. She equates kissing with sex and we did both. So maybe she just wants to get to know you first, and once a kiss comes there may be more quickly after that. To setup the opportunity, make the date at home and cook for her with a movie planned afterwards. Then you're on the couch together, go for the old stretch trick. Ask her how you are scoring as a joke, on your dating skills, between 1 and 10 etc. Then when she answers you can say wow is that good enough to kiss you then or something. Just joke around about it, and keep it fun. Link to comment
Ms Darcy Posted March 7, 2014 Share Posted March 7, 2014 So u recon for me to organise date 4 and hopefully have another great evening and just go for it at the end of the date? Organize another date and go for the kiss. By the way, please spell out your words. Your posts are hard enough to read. Not using proper grammar makes it worse. Link to comment
Chelsea1987 Posted March 7, 2014 Author Share Posted March 7, 2014 Taipan- I have no problem organising dates with her I will make plans for next week. Thank you for the advice sounds like a great idea. Ms Darcy- sorry I only use this site on my phone so i get carried away with the text spelling and don't always go over my posts. il try and make more of an effort in the future. Link to comment
Chelsea1987 Posted March 23, 2014 Author Share Posted March 23, 2014 UPDATE: We went on another date this past Wednesday, again another nice evening together I went in for the kiss at the end and she turns her head and just hugs me. Later that night she texts me saying she's not looking for anything more then friends at the moment as she's not in the right place. Well at least I know now and I can look for someone who is right for me. Dating isn't easy sometimes. Link to comment
jak3 Posted March 23, 2014 Share Posted March 23, 2014 UPDATE: We went on another date this past Wednesday, again another nice evening together I went in for the kiss at the end and she turns her head and just hugs me. Later that night she texts me saying she's not looking for anything more then friends at the moment as she's not in the right place. Well at least I know now and I can look for someone who is right for me. Dating isn't easy sometimes. You got an answer. I'm sorry it wasn't the one that you were hoping for but hopefully it is a lesson learned to present yourself as a person of interest sooner than later. Link to comment
Chelsea1987 Posted March 23, 2014 Author Share Posted March 23, 2014 Defiantly a lesson learned. I guess your always learning when it comes to dating. Thanks jak3 Link to comment
Ms Darcy Posted March 23, 2014 Share Posted March 23, 2014 Sorry it did not work out for you! Dating is tough. Keep on keeping on. Link to comment
Chelsea1987 Posted March 23, 2014 Author Share Posted March 23, 2014 Thanks ms Darcy I'm sure it will be worth it when I find the right person in the end Link to comment
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