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Another update. Feeling sad and alone.


shrines

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Backstory: My ex moved away in May and we've been talking a lot since but haven't been in a relationship. I love him a lot but I have to stop this.

 

I've posted quite a lot, recently. Essentially, my ex has just started playing live shows. He's on cloud nine and a bunch of groupies are flocking to him. He wants to date around and have sex with other girls despite the fact that I'd be there in two months. He has no desire to be tied down. It's so frustrating because literally two weeks ago he was telling me how crazy he is about me and how he wants to be with me so badly. He's played one show but seems to think that he's well on his way to becoming an international sensation. He's never gotten much attention from girls in the past and now that he is it seems to be going to his head.

 

Two nights ago, I called him and we talked some stuff out. He told me thinks he's going through some "grass is greener" sort of thing. He wants to try dating around to see if he likes it since he's never done it before. I said if he really felt like I was worth it, he'd wait for me. He said he just wants to live the "musician lifestyle" and mess around and not take anything too seriously. I told him I understood how he was feeling and I slept on it.

 

Last night, I texted him. I told him that I thought we had a good talk but I can't do this anymore and I needed time away. I wished him good luck and then blocked him on everything before he could respond. I still want to move but I don't know what to do anymore. He was supposed to help me with the move and everything and now I don't know what will happen

 

My heart's broken. I feel used emotionally. I'm really, really hurting and it feels like the breakup is occurring all over again. He was my first and only relationship as well as my first everything (from first kiss to sex). I feel like that's making it harder. I honestly can't imagine myself with anyone else and I know how unhealthy that is. Any help would be strongly appreciated.

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The contact is only hurting you, helping him and delaying your healing/recovery. You deserve to be with someone who wants to be with you. Time for NC and taking care of you and your future. You are young and have sooooo much good times ahead in your life. Stop wasting your time over a man who does not want to be with you.

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Is he in a band? Is he touring? Is that the reason he moved?

Musicians are notorious for not being faithful. Especially young ones..my friend is talking to a musician long distance

right now, but he's older and divorced. That's a hard lifestyle to accommodate. I would let him go....

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Wow, playing covers to an audience of 50! I'm surprised he has time to talk on the phone long enough to break up with you, what with signing all those autographs.....

 

He's a legend in his own mind. Let him go and see just how far he gets in life trying to be a rock star and using women like a sleazy player. Yuck -- you deserve so much better!! I promise the day will come in the not too distant future when you're sitting beside your amazing way-better future boyfriend and you'll wonder what you ever saw in that guy.

 

Keep posting, keep moving forward -- and good for you for blocking him!

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This is not "grass is greener". He just told you that to keep you as an option... He's playing you or at least trying to. Move on. Seriously. Things will go south eventually. This does not have a happy ending whatsoever if you try to stay with him.

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Wow, playing covers to an audience of 50! I'm surprised he has time to talk on the phone long enough to break up with you, what with signing all those autographs.....

 

He's a legend in his own mind. Let him go and see just how far he gets in life trying to be a rock star and using women like a sleazy player. Yuck -- you deserve so much better!! I promise the day will come in the not too distant future when you're sitting beside your amazing way-better future boyfriend and you'll wonder what you ever saw in that guy.

 

Keep posting, keep moving forward -- and good for you for blocking him!

 

Thank you so much, sharky. I really appreciate hearing your words. It definitely helps. He's slightly delusional when it comes to this music thing. He said he's starting off the same way The Beatles and Jimi Hendrix did. He seems to ignore all the other talented people who never make it in the music business.

 

I can't help but hope, but I know I shouldn't. I'm going to speak to a counselor as soon as I can and maybe get some help with my anxiety, depression, and codependency. Just to name a few I just want to be okay.

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I read your previous post a few days ago regarding this. I am glad to hear that you thought this through and have decided to cut contact and move on from him and with your life, hopefully starting your decision to a difference college then his.

You are so young and you have so much more of your life to experience. It only seems like the end of the world right now and you may feel like you can't imagine yourself not being with him, but believe me, that will pass and one day in the future you will actually find the man who you know you can't imagine being without and you know what, crazy thing will happen - he'll feel the same way about you too.

Your ex sounds like a dog, a very delusional one at that. If he feels this way now, its not going to change in 2 months or in 2 years or probably ever. You have taken the first step to taking control of your life! Keep going forward!

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