How can I solve this

[confused234]

I've been through a series of bad relationships and sort of taking a break from relationships in general. One of my closest friends (a guy) to whom I tell my problems to is going through a tough period with his girlfriend of 2 years. He genuinely loves the girl but seems to be losing interest in her physically and tends to get annoyed with her. I have told him numerous times that he is losing interest in her so it is advisable to break things off now itself without dragging it further. Yet he claims to love her and that breaking up with her will devastate her and he can't do that to her. However, in the mean time he says that he is becoming more and more attracted to me. He has always liked me even before he started going out with his current girlfriend but i had always been in a relationship. Now that I'm single the attractions are more and he is stuck. He would like to start something with me BUT doesn't want to end things with his girl. I'm still reeling from my past relationships so I don't want to jump into another but it is tempting having him around knowing he wants me. I'm worried that we might end up doing something we might regret whilst he is in the relationship. We work together as well. Do you'll have any advice for him and his relationship?

[El0t]

You definitely don't want to get involved with this guy. Even if he did leave his ex and things with the two of you worked out, would you ever be able to really trust him? It'll only strain your friendship and work relationship, and like you said, you're not ready to jump into anything much less with this guy. It's better to let the attraction fade and hold on to a good friendship. Relationships are finite and once you enter into that zone you really can't go back. Best of luck.

[Edmund Exley]

He genuinely loves the girl but seems to be losing interest in her physically and tends to get annoyed with her.

 

He doesn't genuinely love her if this is the case.

 

That said, stay out of it.

[Kendahke]

Don't be *that* girl.

 

The only way anything can jump off with him is if you take the leap with him.

 

My advice for him is to either open up a can of act right and treat his girlfriend with respect or leave her.

 

My advice to you is to stay away from him until he's made up his mind and has followed through.

 

I'm not hearing any excuses about work, blah blah blah. You're headed for a train wreck if you keep to this path.

[HeartGoesOn]

He would like to start something with me BUT doesn't want to end things with his girl. I'm still reeling from my past relationships so I don't want to jump into another but it is tempting having him around knowing he wants me.

 

You would not be jumping into another relationship, you would become his side dish. This would be a selfish choice that would not only rob you of your own self-respect, it would involve other innocent people.

 

Choose wisely...

[toby17]

Do you'll have any advice for him and his relationship?

 

But he's not asking for advice and clearly from your post, you are!

 

Ok, if it I was to advise your friend I would tell him that relationships have ups and down, relationships require hard work and he shouldn't throw his away lightly. I'm tell him to ignore you because you're not objective, you're his friend not a mutual friend and friends often tell you to take the easy way out but they're not the ones who have to live with your decisions. Confused isn't really interested, she just likes the attention and the self esteem of you being into her. Plus with friends like her advising you to end your relationship rather than work on it, no wonder relationships don't last anymore.

 

My advice to you is if this guy will tell you how interested he is in you while he's with someone else, that's an indication of what kind of boyfriend he is. He wanted you before he was involved with this girl, and he still wants you now - I suspect you're just a notch.

 

Sleep with him if you want. But remember you'd be hurting his gf and once he's ticked you off as done, I suspect he'll lose interest in you too.

[MisUnderstood9]

It's kind of ironic that these feelings of his have started since you are no longer in a relationship. It sounds to me he is purposely trying to find excuses to break it off with his g/f so he can as toby17 said, "tick you off his done list".

 

I would keep my nose out of their relationship and away from him until he figures out his current situations. You seriously don't want to be know as "that girl" and you know what girl that is - the friend of a boy that the girlfriend always has the suspicions about - its not a good place to be after the poop hits the fan...

[sadsun]

You are a bad person if you get involved with him right now. Obviously he is considering using you as a toy while he is still in a relationship he is bored of. If he leaves her and 6 months to a year later he asks you to be with him fine. But if you encourage him to leave his GF for you you are being a home wrecker, or "that girl" and no one respects that girl. Have some self respect and leave this couple alone.

[Raoul]

You solve it by not getting involved with him.

 

If he wants you, he will end his relationship with his girlfriend and then go out with you.

 

How hard isn't that to figure out?

[lerenard]

He doesn't genuinely love his GF, and he doesn't seem like a good friend of yours. I am sure he knows your background, and still he offers you to cheat with him? Stay out.