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I think my wife no longer loves me


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I'm going to give some background. Sorry...

 

I am 24 years old, and my wife is 23. We have been together for almost 5 years, married for almost 4. We used to be inseparable. We had moved in together rather fast (my mother threw me out of the house at 11:47pm in April. My girlfriend (now wife) came to my rescue).

We've had problems in the past, but who hasn't? We've gotten over them, and moved on. One of the problems was early into the relationship, I had a temporary drop in testosterone, resulting in a low sex drive. She finally adjusted to it, just as I got it back. So we went from having sex 3 times a day to having sex every couple days. No big deal.

 

I have been working on a bisexual erotic novel for few years (since before my wife and I were dating) . My wife didn't know about it. I had hit writers block, and sought inspiration. I contacted another writer, to get some thoughts. Apparently this writer thought I was hitting on them.

My wife went on my computer, which automatically opens my email, and saw the conversation. That's when the hit the fan.

 

Apparently my wife didn't know I was bisexual, though I could have sworn I told her when we were dating. She accused me of cheating on her, and I explained the novel. She claimed that by contacting someone else, I was cheating on her. I claimed it was not cheating, because I was seeking the professional opinion of another writer.

Now she has trust issues. We have been working on it though.

 

But ever since then, we have not been the same.

We argue constantly, and she's usually hurtful when we do. She's usually getting aggravated by everything I do.

 

Her mother came to live with us about a year ago, and her mother is judging me on everything I do. We can't even argue to resolve issues, because her mom will jump in fighting, so I usually end up backing down, because I can't take on both of them at once.

 

My wife has felt distant from the relationship for about a year and a half now. It keeps getting worse. She doesnt want to kiss me, and when she does kiss me, it feels cold and unloving. We, if I'm lucky, have sex about once a month. I believe she only has sex with me because she feels obligated to.

 

I honestly believe my wife does not love me anymore...

 

What should I do? Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

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Yeah, if you're going to keep secrets from your wife you better make damn sure she never finds out or this happens.

 

It's no wonder she has trust issues, she didn't even know you were bisexual nor did she know about your novel you've been working on for years lol...

 

All you can do now is slowly earn her trust back, she has negativity towards you which may not have fully been vented out yet so let her vent and say all that she wants/need to say to you and hope for the best. Do not argue with her because in her mind you've automatically lost, she has dirt on you.

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You said, "Apparently my wife didn't know I was bisexual, though I could have sworn I told her when we were dating."

- I don't even know you but from this sentence above can tell you have a major problem with being truthful.

 

Marriage is all about truth.

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I have been working on a bisexual erotic novel for few years (since before my wife and I were dating) . My wife didn't know about it.

 

Why did you feel that you couldn't share this with your wife?

 

Also how could your wife not know you were bisexual? Was it never discussed or brought up?

 

If you're serious about this working, I'd recommend finding a good environment without her Mother and discuss how you can both move forward from this.

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Whatever you fight about, her mother should NOT be involved! Tell her to leave the room at least while you two are arguing. It's none of her business.

 

And your statement "I could have sworn I told her while we were dating" about your bisexuality is dubious. That's a pretty important issue, one I would want to know about IN DEPTH with my SO if I were about to marry them! Did you just casually mention it and moved on to something else? That's how you're making it sound. Did she have doubts? Did she have questions?

 

Also you are SO young to be married for so long! I know some people may disagree, but I think that there are too many variables in young marriages-you have so much time to change and grow and diverge in your life's directions and aspirations.

 

She MAY have fallen out of love with you-relationships always have peaks and valleys so maybe this is one of them.

 

But I'd definitely curb/ban Mother's interference in ANY of your marital discussions.

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