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I'm in love with my best friend, he doesn't love me. What to do?


ballerina22

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We've been friends for two years now. More than friends, best friends. In the beginning it was a fwb situation (never actual sex) but it grew to more. We stopped getting sexual because it got complicated and became best friends. I love him so so much. He recently moved four hours away for school. I told him that I loved him along time ago and he tells me he loves me too but doesn't want me to be his girlfriend. I did date someone else for a little while and he was upset by it. I mean, we stopped talking for three months. When I would talk about the other guy, he shut me up and didn't want to hear it. In his new town, I know he's going out and trying to meet girls and things.. which hurts. It's been three years since my last relationship. And while I've dated I can never get serious with anyone because he'll always come first to me. We text every single day and see each other as often as we can. I've helped him recover form surgery, I took care of him, I love him. He puts up with my whiny girl problems. We look out for each other and have a very good friendship but I can't stand the thought of him dating other girls and one day it will be serious with someone.. I don't think I can deal with that.

SO my question is.. should I stay friends with him and continue with the pain but keep my best friend.. or let him go so I can meet someone else?

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Given what you've told us, I think it might be a good idea to give the friendship a break for a while so that you can let go of your feelings for him. Maybe when you are ready to be just friends and have moved on with your own love life, you'll be ready to be friends again.

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I think you should end contact with him completely. You aren't able to move on from what is basically a sort of break up with him because he's still in your life. Maybe a few years down the road you can be friends again ... when you no longer have romantic feelings.

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