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Is it me...or them?


Kricket123

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Hi everyone,

 

I have either managed to hit a batch of flaky guys or I'm doing something wrong. I had posted about this before but it's been multiple guys lately so I thought I'd see if I'm violating some sort of online dating etiquette...?

 

It goes like this: Guy and I email (about 3-4 times). Guy then says we should get together. I give him my number. Guy then texts me, and says we should get together this week. I say: "That would be great--I could do Monday, Thurs, or the weekend." Guy then says he needs to check his schedule. I never hear from guy again.

 

I can't imagine what I'm doing wrong but I've had 3 do this to me in the last 2 weeks. Am I supposed to have a different response to his saying we should get together...?

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They must certainly be very unsure of whether they actually do want to meet up, if it takes so little to put them off. It wouldn't be you, from what you say. If a guy is that skittish though he probably wouldn't be a good prospect for you anyway.Maybe next time a guy suggests meeting up try saying 'sure that'd be good', then leave it up to him to make the next move, and see if that makes a difference.

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Sounds like just a run of bad luck/timing. About the only thing I can think of to change up your response is just e-mail them back with "sounds great, when and where?" rather than just giving out your number.

 

It's not even about flaky, it can simply be a matter of timing. Like they met someone they clicked with and decided they don't want to keep meeting others. Since you don't have anything but a couple of brief e-mail exchanges, they really don't owe you any explanations for bowing out.

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It's not even about flaky, it can simply be a matter of timing. Like they met someone they clicked with and decided they don't want to keep meeting others. Since you don't have anything but a couple of brief e-mail exchanges, they really don't owe you any explanations for bowing out.

 

It's flaky to her because they express an interest to meet and then disappear. They can disappear for any number of reason, not just timing.

 

I wouldn't maintain online dating as your primary mode of meeting guys though.

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I say: "That would be great--I could do Monday, Thurs, or the weekend." Guy then says he needs to check his schedule. I never hear from guy again.

 

 

This is something I've read somewhere. We (the guys) love to pursue what we can't have, easily at least. It's the way the male brain works, if she's hard to get, difficult to handle or both, we go for it. Don't get me wrong, I'm not implying you should be mean or not to be yourself. But by the way you replied that message, you made yourself available for a meeting basically anytime over 50% of the week. So he thinks, oh well, I can meet her whenever I want. My suggestion is, you should be the one checking your schedule and only meet him when its convenient for you (or make it sound like it if you have nothing to do). Say if your available on a Tuesday, but he can't make it that day, tell him you'll let him know in the next couple of days when you are available again. I think that if the guy is really interested he will try to arrange a meeting whenever is convenient for you.

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Well, I can see making the opposite argument--if a woman only has next Tuesday free, she's a pain in the neck to get to know. And I don't initiate text contact or first mention the possibility of a date. What's weird is that this has happened 3 times within the same 5 minutes that we are texting. I could see this being more related to timing, etc if this was a more prolonged email/text exchange. Why text for what appears to be specifically for making plans when then 30 seconds later you then don't want to meet up?

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I'm not sure it matters (it probably doesn't) but the only thing I do different is when someone asks to meet, I ask them when would it be a convenient day/time for them and from their reply I usually understand who's not that interested in meeting despite what he says...and I move on. I still get some flakes but 3 guys in 2 weeks sounds like a lot.

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ok if a guy was really interested he wouldn't flake out regardless if she was avail 50% of the week. he was probably just into the chase and it boosted his ego when he got your number but that's it. it seems like that's the thing with online dating, most men are more interested in getting attention than meeting the one.

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