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I am bummed out about a realization I had, my ex wife has changed quite a bit. She now smokes cigarettes and I think pot once in a while, she has drank wine daily since we met and she easily drinks a bottle a night, not the cheap stuff, she had a house given to her from her mother, she sold it and burned through all the money, she has no savings, she is working full time, but is always stressed out. Before we married she had done 2 chapter 7 bankruptcy's, and is now getting ready for her 3rd. When I was with her she always made me feel like I had to do all the work, laundry, take care of the kids, dishes, everything. We had 3 boys together, and they say they feel like they are in jail with her. I have been divorced from her for 3 years, and for a while I was considering getting back together with her, but a friend of mine, was like dude, she is a total loser, why would you want to be with her. Its really just hit me!! seeing what I wrote is he right??

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Of course he's right. Now, don't you feel a responsibility to rescue your boys from that environment? It's at the very least neglect to know how bad it is there and not do anything about it. Their values are being shaped by this experience. Would you be surprised if they grow up to be financially irresponsible alcoholics? No, because it's what they're learning now. Save them before more damage occurs.

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She is the poster child of loser. Please do whatever it takes to get full custody of your children so they don't have to live with an alcoholic. Things are not going to get better with her, they will get worse. She is an addict, has always been and always will be. She hasn't changed. For some reason you continue to be deep in denial. Please face it - she is an addict, she is a loser. Your children do not need this in their lives. They need one whole sane parent. They don't need to grow up in a household where mom is an addict and a drunk and daddy is the enabler. Get your kids out and don't look back. They deserve better. Do it for them if you can't do it for you.

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Why did you marry her in the first place when she revealed that she had already filed bankruptcy twice? Heck, stuff happens but I think if you look closely, you will see that you ignored many warning signs...yet still went ahead.

 

Forget about her being a loser, what is up with you even considering going back with her? It is good if you have some clarity now but take the time to get clear on the compromises you made the first time and were almost ready to do a 2nd time. It is not enough to dodge the bullet, you need to learn from it as well. Good luck and keep well away from her.

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DUDE , good for her. why do you care ? Move on. I knew my ex wife for 28 years since HS, married 21 yrs. Divorce 7-11-11. She used to be the very cute/hot preppy blond, clean cut, professional. Now at 43 or 44 whatever she is, she looks 60 yrs old, put a lot of weight on, smokes like a chimney and is a LOSER for many other reasons you all don't care to hear. My point is, your divorced right ? if so move on. Trust me she will go away from your mind.

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YOU ARE ALL CORRECT. I don't know what the hell I have been thinking, She is a total addict, she blames me that I stress her out so that is why she drinks and smokes, BullS^^^! You know her own father told me years ago no to get involved with her because she was always discontent. Her Dad, brother and sister don't even talk with her anymore.

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