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Would you ever consider your boss?


doverf5ve

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i am approaching 30 this year, my friends have moved on with there lives, engaged or about to. I m still the same and single and i may just have a panic attack on my birthday. Ive been using Match and have had no success, social events seem to be a waste of my time.

 

I have started a job recently and my boss happens to be single (im pretty sure he didnt hire me because im single but for my ability). Anyway, ive been getting friendly with hr they tell me hes single so i should consider him. At first i was not too keen on the idea being my boss and all. Then i think about my lack of options, hes decent, has a good career only 34, tall and we seem to get along. We had a Christmas event and everybody's wish was so that he could find himself a gf. I felt all eyes on me all of a sudden because were both Asian and single. My colleague gave me a wink when it was announced out loud. My friendly pal in hr keeps asking me what i think and if i dont make a move on him she'll match him with her good friends. At first i was fine with this and suggested setting him upto with my single pals.

Ive been brushing off the idea as ive only started this job and pretty adamant that work relationships are awkward especially if the company is small. Then i was invited to a colleagues dinner party and he was there. We had a good laugh and genuinely felt that he was a good catch. Why not? i am thinking. He hasnt hit on me at all though. We joked and i did realize that he tapped my knee a couple of times to catch my attention. Whats weird is he knew i liked action movies and i dont ever talking to him about that....

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Even if he wasn't your boss....

 

no offense, but you are just screaming desperation here. Like, you are just wanting to grab the first man who is breathing before you get *gasp* even older.

 

I know that in a lot of Asian cultures, being in your thirties and single is like the equivalent of being dead to some, a social freak...but I think people who think like that are not worth worrying about. They need to get a grip.

 

And I think, so do you. What is so horrible about being single?? You talking almost as though you had a terminal illness.

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No. Too complicated. Could potentially create too much drama. Plus, with your current state of mind it is unlikely that it would work out. Focus on finding your emotional balance first. There is nothing wrong with turning thirty and still being single. However, there is something wrong if you are feeling that desperate. Address that.

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Is this guy the owner of a company where three people work, or are you in a bigger company? I think that you should tell your friend in HR who is hinting that you understand she has been hinting, but you cannot jeopardize your job. You would have to leave if you dated a coworker, and ask her to respect that. It is not that he isn't nice, it is just that it is not appropriate in companies you worked for before. Hopefully she respects that. It is a way to say it.

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Is this guy the owner of a company where three people work, or are you in a bigger company? I think that you should tell your friend in HR who is hinting that you understand she has been hinting, but you cannot jeopardize your job. You would have to leave if you dated a coworker, and ask her to respect that. It is not that he isn't nice, it is just that it is not appropriate in companies you worked for before. Hopefully she respects that. It is a way to say it.

 

actually 500 people, team in this office is about 12. Not the owner just someone i report to. She joked about me quitting to date the guy.

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Only if you're totally comfortable with the idea of having to get another job. Sorry, I've done the whole office romance thing and it went very badly we broke up. And yes, I had to get another job. It's easy for others to try and fix you guys up, but I think it's just a bad idea when you mix office politics with romance. And those same coworkers now pushing you to be together can turn on you in a heartbeat if they suddenly think you're getting a raise or any advancement in your career due to dating the boss, even if it's not true. Not to mention what happens if you break up or there's cheating involved...

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