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dbryan1978

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I'd like to hear some stories of how some of you have dealt with constant rejection and can still carry on with your life. I've just experienced another rejection and I'm almost at my breaking point.

 

Okay so why do you think you are rejected? they tell you what??

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I had my share of rejections when I was a teenager, not fun at all.

So I hear you. But just continue with your life, find some activities you like.

Maybe thru these activities you will meet someone, if not you still enjoy the activities and make new friends.

Be positive, be jovial, don't let people think you are desperate even if you may feel that way.

One day, believe that one day you will find the one. Everyone does

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I don't want to find the one when I'm 50-60 years old. I'd like to have a family one day. I want to cheer for a son at a baseball game, I want to scare the hell out of a daughters potential date, I want to sit down to a family dinner and hear about everybody's day.

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Step #1 - start meeting women in real life, not online. This way you will know for sure if there is an attraction and if they are interested in dating.

Some people are just not wired for online dating. I know I'm not. Online, my profile gets ignored 99% of the time, while every single time I go out, I get approached by numerous guys. Had I based my worth on what happens online, my ego would be in the dumpsters, lol.

 

Step #2 - don't let the fact that a bunch of strangers that know nothing about you rejected you be a measure of your value and who you are as a person. You shouldn't give strangers that much power over you, to bring you to the breaking point! They are meaningless people who have their own faults and issues, and their opinions mean nothing.

 

Step #3 - don't make finding a woman the main goal of your life. Live, enjoy, hang out with friends and family and do things that you like doing. We can smell desperation from a mile away, and just as men don't like it, neither do we.

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I think you need to see a therapist, given your other threads.

I am. She tells me to do what I need to do to be happy. I've traveled the world, I've done things that other people can only dream about. I've preformed in bands, did stand up comedy, and even saved someone from drowning once. I don't need anymore adventures. I want to settle down with someone special and grow old with them.

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You can only have some degree of control over the first item on the list.

 

Do you take care of yourself physically?

I try to take care of myself as best I can. I am a little on the heavy side. I'm about 30 lbs overweight. It's hard to work out due to an injury sustained while I was in the military.

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I am. She tells me to do what I need to do to be happy. I've traveled the world, I've done things that other people can only dream about. I've preformed in bands, did stand up comedy, and even saved someone from drowning once. I don't need anymore adventures. I want to settle down with someone special and grow old with them.

 

None of those external things bring happiness. You should talk to her about what internal happiness means for you.

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None of those external things bring happiness. You should talk to her about what internal happiness means for you.

 

I disagree - reaching goals and stretching yourself can bring internal happiness. I would try to avoid giving the impression to someone else that you're done with adventures - growing with someone means continuing to have adventures and stretching yourself -maybe not traveling the world - but I'm sure you want to keep a serious relationship fresh and interesting and also show your future children what it means to be adventurous and have a zest for life.

 

I think meeting through online dating sites is an excellent way to meet women for serious relationships as long as you meet in person ASAP and don't try to have a relationship online.

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I try to take care of myself as best I can. I am a little on the heavy side. I'm about 30 lbs overweight. It's hard to work out due to an injury sustained while I was in the military.

 

At least you're honest about being overweight. There are a few guys on here who are in denial about being overweight.

 

If exercise is difficult, look at tidying up your diet. Weight loss is more dependent on diet than exercise.

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At least you're honest about being overweight. There are a few guys on here who are in denial about being overweight.

 

If exercise is difficult, look at tidying up your diet. Weight loss is more dependent on diet than exercise.

 

For me I've found it far more dependent on exercise -speeds up your metabolism and as you feel better and are more in tune with your body you're more likely to make better choices/better portion control. Also I drink more water because I exercise and that of course fills you up and takes away the trigger for sweeter drinks.

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For me I've found it far more dependent on exercise -speeds up your metabolism and as you feel better and are more in tune with your body you're more likely to make better choices/better portion control. Also I drink more water because I exercise and that of course fills you up and takes away the trigger for sweeter drinks.

 

Your post has a lot of merit for sure, especially the "in tune" part.

 

I always fall back to "you can't outwork a bad diet". I (and a lot of guys) can polish off a large pizza and a box of beer if allowed. I think that works out to about 2.5 days on the elliptical!

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I disagree - reaching goals and stretching yourself can bring internal happiness. I would try to avoid giving the impression to someone else that you're done with adventures - growing with someone means continuing to have adventures and stretching yourself -maybe not traveling the world - but I'm sure you want to keep a serious relationship fresh and interesting and also show your future children what it means to be adventurous and have a zest for life.

 

I think meeting through online dating sites is an excellent way to meet women for serious relationships as long as you meet in person ASAP and don't try to have a relationship online.

 

I think you are making an art of parsing words so I'll just leave it at this. Happiness isn't about the things you do or what you have. Being in love won't make you happy. Travelling the world won't make you happy. Happiness is about your mindset. It's understanding your core values and using your mental energy and general activities to cultivate a long-standing self-image of peace, connection, and fulfillment.

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I think you are making an art of parsing words so I'll just leave it at this. Happiness isn't about the things you do or what you have. Being in love won't make you happy. Travelling the world won't make you happy. Happiness is about your mindset. It's understanding your core values and using your mental energy and general activities to cultivate a long-standing self-image of peace, connection, and fulfillment.

 

Oh I found what you said to be all about substance, not about parsing words or semantics. I do think travelling the world can make you very happy if travelling the world is a dream of yours, especially if it challenges and stretches you. The travel is just a manifestation of the internal mindset. I think we agree on that. And I know that being married and having a family makes me happy because of why I wanted those things and what I did to attain those goals.

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I'd like to hear some stories of how some of you have dealt with constant rejection and can still carry on with your life. I've just experienced another rejection and I'm almost at my breaking point.

 

Don't take it personal. It's normal to feel a bit of a sting, but that should be it. It really has very little to do with you. People can't help who they are attracted to.

 

I'm not everyone's cup of tea, whatever. That's life.

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I agree with Ms Darcy that doing external things is not meaningful enough unless you consciously derive happiness from it. I've traveled a lot and done a lot of cool stuff too but I often find people that haven't done much and lived in the same town for 3 decades are happier than me. Those external things should be making you happy. I think it requires conscious effort before it becomes natural - watch your thoughts and emotions and constantly direct them towards positive thoughts.

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  • 5 years later...

What kind of profile and photos do you have? What kind of sites are you using? Cheap/free? Hookup? Paid? Develop a system that rules out psychos and damage goods asap. Do not waste time on that or anyone who is "busy" or otherwise uninterested. Send a few messages back and forth then cut to the chase and set up a low key coffee meet. It's not about 'they are rejecting you" it's about either the meet goes well..or it doesn't. If it doesn't so what? You move on. If it goes well you secure a second date.

I'm told there's no attraction, they don't date, this last one said she can't trust men at all?
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