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Lulu -- An App That Lets Women Rate the Men They Date


SeattleSigh

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Okay, so there's a new app out there that I just became aware of today. It's called Lulu. The purpose of the app is for women to rate and make notes about the men they date. The profiles that get created are open to all women and they can check them before dates to get more information on a guy.

 

I found out today that someone rated me in the last few weeks. Now the rating was pretty good, and the profile created was moonshot accurate. However, this app bothers me from a healing standpoint.

 

I know that I shouldn't go out on dates until I am healed, emotionally steady and really ready to date. However, there is also part of the healing process that is helped by dating and being out and about. There's something to be said for the positive attention and new experience that comes from getting out there. (Even with that said, I have decided to try and not date for the time being.)

 

Of course we should always treat others with respect, and it really is part of who I am to do so, but I make mistakes, and I don't like the idea of my mistakes being broadcast to the world. (It was actually a female coworker who told me about my rating.)

 

This may seem like some obscure app. However, a couple of my friends have been rated too, and there are millions of users. Lulu is growing fast.

 

Apparently, you can ask that your profile be taken down, but this is still really weird. Dating really is changing as a result of technology.

 

There's a lot more that's wrong this app, too: I mean, it's gender and sexually biased. It's only for straight women to rate straight men. And I can imagine how harmful this could be to already confusing and hurt-causing ex relationships. Imagine if my ex looks me up. Or I look her up.

 

Heck, my boss could look me up.

 

I am planning on requesting that my profile be taken down, so I am not asking for advice, but I am definitely curious to hear what everyone has to say about this app.

 

And I know this might seem crazy, but this is the world we live in. The future is here.

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Technology is getting psycho, this is disgusting. I don't know why modern technology isn't being used towards more worthy causes, instead of just invading people's privacy to this degree.

But for the sake of argument, how would this app benefit anybody? We all know that in "rating" someone we dated, we all project our own emotions, which are subjective, because they come from our own interpretation of whatever happened in the relationship. It doesn't mean it's the most honest reflection of what actually went down. Besides, what one woman deems as not right may be deemed as right by another one. And what about the ratings made out of spite? What if a woman behave like a lunatic, or cheated, which prompted the guy to dump her, and as a revenge she gives the guy a very poor rating?

 

Ugh life was so much easier and pleasant some 10-15 years ago

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It is really weird. It's a natural offspring of what is going on right now though.

 

It may seem unrelated but it's not. It struck me not so long ago that the billboard near my home which advertises for a spa is using the exact same picture of a woman to shill 'medical skin perfection' as my local newspaper used to shill a phone line. And I've seen the image somewhere else too, though can't place it.

 

No context. No bounds. No asking "Should we do this? Is it necessary? Do the potential benefits weigh against the potential negatives in doing this?". People just do it cause they can....and mostly, people celebrate this.

 

So I'm not surprised. There are much darker apps than that. Much darker applications of the present philosophy; never mind technology.

 

You can ask to have it taken down. But there is no opting out of the way things are going and how a lot of people think; having to interact with them.

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No context. No bounds. No asking "Should we do this? Is it necessary? Do the potential benefits weigh against the potential negatives in doing this?". People just do it cause they can....and mostly, people celebrate this.

 

Very well said. I agree with this. Most of the apps that exist do so because, well, we have the technology to do so.

 

I shudder to think what my children will have to go through by the time they are dating. It's really bad.

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For some reason I'm not bothered. I feel like I've been a good date to everyone I've met, so my reviews should be at least decent. Plus I'd be curious to know the other person's perceptions of how it went.

 

Unfortunately, we've all run accross bitter and/or crazy people when dating, so all it would take is one vindictive review to change my opinion haha! And I have a feeling those would be the people most likely to post reviews.

 

In customer service, people are more likely to complain than to praise, and it would probably be the same for dating reviews. My bet is that Lulu will be packed with negative assessments and very few positive ones, no matter how nice the guys are. But if I'm wrong, that would say something good for the female users!

 

 

The billboard near my home which advertises for a spa is using the exact same picture of a woman to shill 'medical skin perfection' as my local newspaper used to shill a phone line. And I've seen the image somewhere else too, though can't place it.

 

No context. No bounds. No asking "Should we do this? Is it necessary? Do the potential benefits weigh against the potential negatives in doing this?". People just do it cause they can....and mostly, people celebrate this.

 

Well that's a fairly different situation. It was most likely a royalty-free stock photograph that all of those businesses paid a one-time fee to use, with the full knowledge that others could do the same. I'm not really seeing the connection to a larger lack of societal boundaries that you are.

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Soon we're gonna have prostitution apps...they'll work like Tinder. You flip through a bunch of photos, pick the one you like, pay with your credit card (and you can pre-tip them with your card, or just pay in cash), and a lovely woman shows up at your door within 45 minutes.

 

These apps are seriously getting OOC.

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Ok, I have the Lulu app. For the record, I hadn't heard of it until a male friend of mine started complaining to me that one woman had reviewed him with the hashtag "obsessed with Star Wars". Lol. Also for the record, he is totally obsessed with Star Wars.

 

So anyway I downloaded it out of curiosity and because it was free. I think the principle is mean, and I object to the idea that anyone can be rated. So I'm against it in principle and would never ever rate a guy on there. That being said, I haven't read anything really mean on there. You don't write free form reviews, you describe guys from a series of prewritten hashtags that are split into positive and negative. The guys you see are in your social network (FB). Most guys have good scores - between 8 and 10. Of the guys in my social network I've seen reviewed, even though I haven't dated them, I have to say the reviews are pretty spot on and generally summarize my personal opinion of them as a dating prospect (in very broad terms, as in yep good guy why not, or nah, not a great idea, or uh oh, player alert). Obviously it has nothing to do with how anyone might particularly click with them.

 

So while I think it's awful to review people, and I would not, myself, like to be reviewed online as a dating prospect, especially anonymously, my observation has been that it -- so far, fortunately -- is neither cruel nor bullying, as a whole. Of course those are just the reviews I've seen. And there are really very few reviews on there, and I haven't seen much growth since I first heard about it six months ago, so I'm not sure it's really taking off.

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Soon we're gonna have prostitution apps...they'll work like Tinder. You flip through a bunch of photos, pick the one you like, pay with your credit card (and you can pre-tip them with your card, or just pay in cash), and a lovely woman shows up at your door within 45 minutes.

 

These apps are seriously getting OOC.

 

That was meant as a joke, probably, but that probably will happen. It's not a bad idea, in the realm of what is good and bad ideas for 'if there is a market' goes. haha.

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my observation has been that it -- so far, fortunately -- is neither cruel nor bullying, as a whole.

 

Nice to hear. And there we have the difference between men & women.

 

If there was a male-oriented app of this kind, I wouldn't be surprised if #f*ckingwhore #dirtysl*t #golddigger and #pr*cktease would be among the top hashtags.

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I don't think it's a big problem because dating is such a subjective experience. A boring woman could be interesting to my friend. A woman my friend thinks is too opinionated could be interesting and refreshing to me. I wouldn't take much from a review like that unless the person describes something that we'd all pretty much agree was weird, like bursting into tears halfway through dinner, threatening a waiter with a butter knife for getting an order wrong, or something nuts like that.

 

If someone reviewed me with something like "ProtestTheHero is too (adjective)" and another woman disqualified me because of it then I probably am not missing out on much from that woman. If a one sentence subjective statement is enough to convince you about something then I'm sure my first date with you would be our last one as well.

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Wow, this is wrong and creepy. I reminds me of that website "Don't Date Him Girl" where women could rant about how crappy there ex BFs were. I think the site was closed down or disciplined or something (?), anyway I remember there was controversy over publicly naming and shaming people on that site.

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Unfortunately, we've all run accross bitter and/or crazy people when dating, so all it would take is one vindictive review to change my opinion haha! And I have a feeling those would be the people most likely to post reviews.

 

I have had one crazy ex, and I have no doubt that she would have posted as much slander as she could about me had this been around at the time. Funny enough, she is now a "power user" on yelp, I saw her review for a restaurant come up when I was looking for a menu. ND is right that the people who tend to write these kinds of reviews tend to be the biggest complainers. I have a lot of friends in the service industry and when I read these reviews I tend to be on the side of the beleaugered waitstaff or bartenders rather than the complainer, so I think I'd feel the same for any poor dude that's on there. All it would take is one ex with a vendetta to paint a really unflattering picture of you online, and there wouldn't be any way you could effectively counter it.

 

With my one crazy ex it was really embarrassing and hurtful, because I never dished about her to anybody and I totally had reason to. It just seems tactless to me to run down somebody else in the public sphere.

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