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Facebook vs Enotalone


flower888

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Recently I realise I cannot stand reading Facebook anymore. I don't want to be this way, I want to share other people's joy, but instead, against my wishes, their posts just irritate me. They are too happy to be realistic. Some I feel are showing off. I understand since we are using our real identities in the fb, we only put pictures that we have a big grin on our faces. People that I don't dislike or even liked in the first place, after reading their posts for months, I start to uncontrollably dislike them. I am sorry, I don't want to be like this, I accept it if I am the one who is having problem.

 

Then I revisited enotalone, I read about people's problem, I feel this is the real world, I actually feel better. It is not because people's problem make me feel happy, but because I no longer feel that people are hidding behind the smiling masks. Although all of us here are not using our real identity, ironically, I feel there is no more hypocrisy and pretense here. It feels so good we can speak from our hearts, the naked truth, no matter how we are feeling.

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If Facebook annoys you so much why don't you close/delete your account? It's such an easy solution. Instead of going back to it all the time, get rid of it. It makes no sense to me at all why people insist on keeping things like facebook when it always seems to give them so much drama and grief.

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Nothing to do with Facebook -just how your friends use Facebook. Many of mine use it in the way you describe and a number of them (me included) do not. If you can just filter it through your mind in a way where you tune out the bragging posts I think there is a lot of value to Facebook. For me the value has been in networking, reconnecting with people (I recently reconnected with the penpal I had as a teenager -we had not been in touch in over 20 years!), keeping in touch with people and often having interesting discussions about a variety of issues.

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Agree about Facebook too, but I am really picky about who goes on my FB account and thankfully we're all more about family events and sharing funny cartoons and jokes. Very little venting and when it's there it's real, not the phony fake enthusiasm that yes you sometimes see. But also keep in mind that many people on FB don't want to show or share their bad moments, so it's not really a forum for being able to discuss deep topics. In fact I'd say there's nothing deep about Facebook at all, as opposed to Enotalone where we are indeed dealing the real world, the good and the bad.

 

If someone annoys me I just put them on my acquaintance list and that way I seldom see their posts. Problem solved for those few relatives who are a bit too chirpy or bible thumpy for my grumpy old cynical self. And if it's too annoying I just go check out George Takai's FB page, I adore that man. LOL

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Facebook can be too much, but it can be helpful, too. Facebook "groups" based on interests and connections can be very good. We have one for family that is private so that only family can see those posts, and it's great for sharing information. We also have a town based group for free-cycling and another for other town based things such as road conditions, questions, discussions, and basic community talk. It can be useful for following local interests and event announcements. Friends have used it to ask for help, a ride, to look for a lost pet, a teen in crisis, etc. It has its strengths and weaknesses. But for those whose posts are too much, just hide them so you don't get their updates. I'm sure my demographic affects what I see, though, and I don't see relationship drama or bragging, or drunken parties, thank goodness.

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I have deactivated my old facebook that has over 300 friends (not large scale I know) and opened another one with just me, my kids, parents, siblings.

I find that I get irritated with seemingly trivial matters over on Facebook, I don't need that kind of stress.

So I here I am, with limited contact in Facebook.

 

For information source, the real one, I go to Google+. No drama, just active sharing of what's going on. Nobody is fighting or bickering LOL.

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Totally agree, but it is difficult if the one making the "mary sunshine" posts is your Sister.

 

She has major difficulties with her Daughter because she was spoilt from the day she was born. She has just turned 16 & causes major issues in the family. My Sister tells me the problems, then goes on FB posting how wonderful her Daughter is & how great her life is.

 

I just skim over them now, and look for the important stuff.

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When Facebook started out, it was strictly for college students. And the profiles were simply that: profiles. You couldn't post a status, tag anyone in a picture, "like" anything, or even chat. (Look up Facebook on wikipedia; you'll see what a standard profile looked in 2005 in comparison to today.) It's absolutely amazing what a phenomonon Facebook has turned into.

 

But either way, whether it's Facebook, MySpace, or link removed, public profiles are always about the highlight reel. No one's going to display their problems on their profile, unless it's simply to vent and get some sympathy. Enotalone is designed to help people, give opinions and advice, from people all over the world, without exposing yourself too much. (Don't get me wrong---I *love* Facebook! In fact, I was one of the first college students to have a profile.

 

What I'm saying is, I can see why someone may get a little depressed/annoyed checking out other people's profiles. Just remember they're flaunting their highlight reel and nothing more.

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Totally agree, but it is difficult if the one making the "mary sunshine" posts is your Sister.

 

She has major difficulties with her Daughter because she was spoilt from the day she was born. She has just turned 16 & causes major issues in the family. My Sister tells me the problems, then goes on FB posting how wonderful her Daughter is & how great her life is.

 

I just skim over them now, and look for the important stuff.

 

LOL I can totally relate. my best friend does exactly what your sister did.

Actually I totally understand, we don't hang dirty linen in public. Still,

I won't pretend to be super successfully happy if I were not, I just don't post.

 

I had just heeded the advice here and recategorise the people.

I also agree on the useful aspects of fb.

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Facebook is what you make of it. if you can't deal with all the happy people, don't log into Facebook so often. It's not hard to do, and it doesn't require any irrational moves like deleting your Facebook account.

 

When I was growing up, people used roll-a-dexes to stay in touch. My dad had a box of notecards with numbers and addresses for everyone he wanted to keep in touch with. Today, we have facebook. Time will not be going back. Yes, it was really convenient in the old days how you could just throw all your stuff in the car and drive a thousand miles and start all over from nothing. Now, you actually have to deal with these issues you just haven't dealt with. It's called growing up, and it's called maturity. We never stop growing, but we'd all hope at some point we're more mature than when we started out!

 

Give it time, it won't bother you so much. Especially if you find a happy train for yourself.

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I don't have a facebook account all it is about is bragging about your life snooping on others lives and about how many friends you can accumulate compared to others or how many likes you can get IG is sort of similar but least it is just pictures like a photo album. Plus facebook ruins relationship because so many people are jealous and insecure.

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I don't have a facebook account all it is about is bragging about your life snooping on others lives and about how many friends you can accumulate compared to others or how many likes you can get IG is sort of similar but least it is just pictures like a photo album. Plus facebook ruins relationship because so many people are jealous and insecure.

 

LOL. The account is about nothing. It's just a web site with the ability to create an account. My account is all about keeping in touch with certain people and having the opportunity to network for various reasons. Generalizing about what individuals do with Facebook makes little sense. Perhaps that's what it is about for the people you know who are on Facebook but millions are on Facebook.

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I don't have a facebook account all it is about is bragging about your life snooping on others lives and about how many friends you can accumulate compared to others or how many likes you can get IG is sort of similar but least it is just pictures like a photo album. Plus facebook ruins relationship because so many people are jealous and insecure.

 

I'll go one step further: I saw a recent figure the suggested that social networking is becoming a huge component to career advancement or even just getting a job. It's not [just] what you know, it's who you know...

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I actually find this place more depressing. It just reminds me of a lot of bad stuff in my life but I keep coming back here for some reason. Facebook on the other hand I don't mind, it's good for networking and keeping in touch with people and I like seeing friends happy with pictures of their new girlfriends and just being happy. Makes me smile but reminds me what I'm missing out on though

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I was glued to this forum when i was heartbroken - rarely did i ask for advice. I was here to return to a circle of people who were going through what i was going through. I noticed helping people out helped me out, like i can read my own advice and follow it - when otherwise i wouldnt follow my own words.

 

And yes, FB can be fake. I know a lot of women that post up about how happy they are with their ex's - yet they still hang on to what i am saying or doing as if i am going to change my mind and date them. And all these posts about marriage and kids, its cute... but i know so much of the background stories that make their cute posts seem watered down and sad.

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I have noticed that too to some extent but I'm not really bothered about it. I keep the friendlist short (have less than 200) and only regularly communicate with a few of them- i don't ignore others, i simply don't get into long conversations with them and my chat is always turned off to avoid meaningless chitchat. those who want to engage in meaningful conversations can always send a private message. I just keep pressing the page down until i've passed the posts about drama, duckfaced selfies, exceedingly positive (fake) ones, boasting and linger on the posts i'm actually interested in. If someone only posts c*ap i either unfollow or unfriend them. And i don't log on too often or take it too seriously, it's only fb. enotalone definitely feels more real to me but i understand fb has a different purpose so the difference doesn't surprise me. I do get the feeling that to many people fb is just another way to feed their ego, "advertise" themselves and the like. I figure if that bothers me i'm just a couple of clicks away from being rid of them. It does depend on how you use it too- limited audience (although i never understood the point of this feature too well), unfollowing, unfriending and simply not being logged on all the time can make it quite a pleasant place, if not, accounts are easily deleted. don't sweat too much about it.

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