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The first 6 to 8 weeks


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It felt horrible.

It was the worst one.

The pain decreased in time.

There is nothing to compare it to.

Gut wrenching, drop me to my knees, whyyyyy?

Got by by focusing on my life and my future.

It was an 8-9.

It took me 3 months to heal.

Was single.

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The first 6-8 weeks.. I'm in those right now actually...

Despair

Empty

Lonely

Self blame

The 1-10 scale changes all the time

Denial

Pity for him

I often defended him when people spoke badly about him

Emotionally wiped out

Unable to cope

Didn't eat/sleep

Hoped for a miracle

Started the realize my effort wasn't the issue and I couldn't have changed the outcome

 

I'm nearing an acceptance stage now. Starting to perk up and be less touchy and joke around more. Reflected enough to realize the emotional abuse that was going on and realizing that I really am better than that. Realizing I missed the companionship more than I missed him. Focusing on the negative parts of the relationship have really launched me upwards. I don't wish this pain on anyone. I have no desire to be with him considering all the water under the bridge and all the disrespect and disregard he ever showed me. It's been eye opening. Never again. I'm single and enjoying my own company and will eventually move out of my shell again because I feel worthy as when it first happened, I didn't.

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I am to at the 8 weeks mark (2 months almost after BU but the first 2 weeks don't count cause I was sure he would be back ). The first 2 weeks were horrible, then the next 4 were ok-ish, I was being positive, making positive changes etc... I think at about 6 weeks it sunk in harder... the thought that it really is over and I am still struggling. Not sure what's coming next though and when does it get better again

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I'm 7 weeks post B/U although we have been in contact here and there. The beginning was absolutely awful...not sure if I could/wanted to go on, not motivated to do anything, confused, hurt, lonely. I leaned on my friends and family A LOT and saw a therapist. Somewhere along the way, things just started to feel better and I started to feel like my old self again. I'm still a little worried for the future and not yet ready to immerse myself in the dating world fully (I went speed dating but that was just for fun) but I'm getting there. I have a trip coming up next week with some friends. I'm working out again. I'm going out. And I'm not even really sure I want a relationship now. Or ever. Not sure I want to go through all of this nonsense again. I'm 29 so I know I still have a lot of living to do, but for now I'm happy to do that living with friends and not a partner. All I know is that it does get better. And, as they all say, the one thing that makes it better is always time!

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Today marks exactly 2 months since the break up. It is certainly one of the worst things that has ever happened to me. I had suicidal thoughts and to this day I still get times when I feel my life has lost it's meaning without him in it.

 

At around week 2 I started doing all of the things to make myself feel better - and since then I lost a lot of weight, bought new clothes, reconnected with friends, went on holiday, hit the gym, started doing things I never had time and energy for while in a relationship (my ex partied a lot and I tried to "keep up" with him, but it was exhausting). Once I started feeling more like my "old me" at around 4 week mark though I started thinking that he would definitely regret the break up and want me back - it was the regained confidence. However, he made no move and that knocked me down again - "He doesn't even seem to miss me. There must me something wrong with me. I am not worthy". I started getting counselling around that time. I still have very confusing thoughts: after regaining self-confidence and beginning to love myself again, I struggle to understand how he still isn't interested and how he could move on so easily.

 

Now 2 months later I feel that the break up was actually a good thing as it made me reevaluate many things and improve the quality of my life. However, I still miss my ex and think of a possible reconciliation. I have no idea how long it will take to move on.

 

Last week I went on a date with a nice guy and enjoyed chatting to him. However, I can see that I am not available emotionally right now. It is a good distraction to go on dates and chat to other guys though.

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The worst of time I could describe as feeling like my skin was being torn off or flayed. Another way to describe it is feeling like I was on fire. There is no relief from it, it's not like you can pop an advil for a headache or something.

 

The good news is however, I have come some way since those early days. I am in the best shape of my life and ready for the next chapter. I at around two months now.

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