Again, I am struggling...

[Alie]

Hello ena,

 

I am 24 graduated on Dec. of 2012 with a degree in Health Science and minor in business. I had a job in IT and I lost the job last year in June. Ever since then, I have been taking random jobs and it's not working out. Again, I lost my job last Friday and now I am feeling hopeless. I have to start the job search again and going through the stress of not having a job. I feel so sad today and no matter how many times I told myself that it's going to be ok and everyone is going through it, I still feel really depressed. I told myself that this is what I need right now so I could make great changes in my life. Life is not easy, everyday and step is a challenge. Even though I know all that, but why it is so hard to face? I just want to hide in a shell and not come out. I just want to disappear. I am scared not having money to pay my bills and I don't have the gut to ask my parents for support or anyone else. I want so bad to be independent and find life on my own.

 

Please give me some words of advice. Can you tell me what you jumped through to find the job that you have today?

[Furbys]

Have you asked any friends or family if there are any vacancies at their place of work? This happened for me and i had a job after two weeks of unemployment. The saying goes its not what you know its who you know.

[Mesemene]

For my husband, it was taking 2 temp jobs that sucked to land into one that turned perm AND was a great one.

 

And he had to weed through plenty not worth taking. They'd call with a "job" filing for a day for minimum wage - 40-50 miles away. Umm, no. At the time gas was even more than now - it simply wasn't worth the money they were paying.

 

Then there was the one that was from home for an IT company. The setup and expectations were all over the place. One guideline would say one thing, another directly contradicted it. And eventually the hours dried up.

 

Then this one - which is phenomenal. So however you have to network, don't give up. Persistence does pay in the end. Our saga of dead end and then being temp at this job before going perm spanned about 2-1/2 years, but it was worth it in the end.

[Alie]

Have you asked any friends or family if there are any vacancies at their place of work? This happened for me and i had a job after two weeks of unemployment. The saying goes its not what you know its who you know.

 

I moved to Houston about a year ago; therefore, I still don't know anyone. There are guy friends that asked me to send them my resume but I feel like they won't help and only want to get to know me. There was one guy who randomly gave me his business card but he invited me to his apartment. I don't trust people so I feel a bit effy about it. I don't know many people here. I have a part time right now but it does not pay much so I can't pay my bills with it.

 

You are so lucky that you have a job right away.

[Alie]

Life is so hard. It's so easy to give up and lock yourself up. Your husband did it for 2 years? That is such a long time. I feel like such a loser for not having a job. How did your husband landed that awesome job?

 

Just sitting here and crying my eyes out right now. I have been avoiding my mom's phone calls because I don't want to tell her that I lost my job and I have to find another one.

[Alie]

I resigned from this job 4 weeks ago, I wonder if I could ask them to take me back? I don't want to go there because I feel depressed being there. I do not want to go back but if they pay my bills, then I should. But then again, I have no pride to go back to them. What should I do?

[blueidealist24]

I resigned from this job 4 weeks ago, I wonder if I could ask them to take me back? I don't want to go there because I feel depressed being there. I do not want to go back but if they pay my bills, then I should. But then again, I have no pride to go back to them. What should I do?

 

So.. you quit that job to go to a new one, and they got rid of you last Friday at the new one? If you think you need this job you don't like to pay your bills, then I'd ask to go back. It sounds like you may be more upset not having a job than having one you hate at this point.

[Mesemene]

Honestly, we just didn't give up.

 

He was unemployed for 9 months during the recession with the exception of that IT help desk from home one - it was a national company that farmed out their helpdesk work. Blah.

 

There were times I know he really got depressed over the whole situation. We had both been employed by the same company. They cut his whole department and contracted out the work, and did layoffs galore accross the board. He had seniority, but with no department, it didn't matter. And I had no seniority.

 

When he got this temp to perm job, we decided I'd stop hunting until I got my health issues cleared up since one thing this job has is excellent health benefits, and my carpal tunnel is so severe I can only grip things for 30 seconds to a minute before my hands go numb. But what I didn't know - I waited until we decided to look into temporary disability, and the 8 quarters I'd been unemployed DQ'ed me from disability. But I didn't have health insurance to see a doctor to GET certified.

 

So I understand how incredibly frustrating, and demeaning, it can be when it seems there's no really good options out there, only bad and worse ones. Can you apply for partial UI due to reduced income if the circumstances that made you resign were ones that would reasonably force you out? And maybe put in a few hours a week volunteering somewhere you could meet other career people volunteering to start networking a bit more, and have some more positive things for your resume?

[Alie]

So.. you quit that job to go to a new one, and they got rid of you last Friday at the new one? If you think you need this job you don't like to pay your bills, then I'd ask to go back. It sounds like you may be more upset not having a job than having one you hate at this point.

 

I don't think I will go back until I try the job search at least 3 months. I just don't have a face to go back there. I really don't like that job. I am pretty much fighting myself and encouraging myself to become stronger. But it's so hard. It's like two different souls are fighting against each other in me.

[Alie]

I already signed up to start volunteering. I can't imagine the stress that you and your husband went through. I am already stressed out. I have minimal wage part time job now so I don't know if I can start looking into other benefits.

[Alie]

I went through a lot of things in life like getting over the fact that I was raped when I was a kid, being isolated when I was a kid because of strict parents, went through numerous of hurtful relationships, now I don't get why I am crying over this matter. I even had the courage to leave home and moved accross the state (Houston) to be with the guy that loves me. Should I be super strong by now? This is just a small obstacle but why am I struggling so bad? I feel hopeless and not knowing what I want to do in life. I am supporting myself and feel that I don't have money. I know that fear is the worst enemy and it does not help. I know I should not be scared and fearful, but why am I feeling this way?

[annie24]

big hugs. losing a job is really really scary. i think you just have to get out there and keep trying. it wouldn't hurt to talk to some of those guys (maybe not the one who invited you to his place) but I would defintely network and try to meet people who might help you find work. have you contacted any staffing agencies? hang in there.

[Alie]

big hugs. losing a job is really really scary. i think you just have to get out there and keep trying. it wouldn't hurt to talk to some of those guys (maybe not the one who invited you to his place) but I would defintely network and try to meet people who might help you find work. have you contacted any staffing agencies? hang in there.

 

Because of my childhood incident, it's hard for me to trust men so when those guys gave me their card, I usually felt disgusted. I feel that they know my situation but using it to get me. I contacted one staffing company. It's really hard now but I am trying to bite back my negative feelings. It's another huge obstacle that I have to go through in life. This is a huge one.

[Alie]

Feeling really alone.

[catfeeder]

I kept applying at temp agencies, at least 3 per week--physically, not online. I started with a radius closest to home then worked my way outward.

 

I made morning appointments and put on the interview suit and filled out all the paper work and took all the skills tests. Afterward, I'd treat myself to a great coffee or fix myself a special lunch at home, then a bubble bath or some other reward for going through the hoops.

 

It was the agency most far away from my home--the one I believed was a waste of time--that eventually placed me at a temp job closest to home, and it was from within that I applied for the job I have today, 7 years later.

 

Don't sit home and apply online, that's like throwing effort into a black hole. Supplement your external efforts with a few choice online applications, but don't invest a lot of hope in those.

 

Head high, and be KIND to yourself. Self talk is the most powerful aid or weapon we own--so use it wisely in your own favor, and speak to yourself with respect and encouragement, always.

[golda]

Oh my god..and my job is very stressful demanding long hours I'm thinking about quitting but I am staying because it pays the bills. I wish the OP strength because indeed life can be hard.

[Alie]

Thank you for this advice. I admire the fact that you were so motivated. I just applied online. My previous part time job knows about my situation and they offer me more work hours. The pay is not that great but it still helps to cover my some of my monthly bills, which I am very grateful. I have an interview on Monday and I will go to a staffing agency on Monday as well. I am praying for a stable job where I can stay for long.

 

Well, I grew up in a very toxic environment where my parents always stressed out. They worried about everything, even little things. Because of their attitude, I couldn't lean against them for emotional support. Their toxic behaviors got to me. My mind is often pessimistic and no matter how hard I have been trying to train my mind to be more positive, it's still so difficult. I am living with my bf for a year now. I think I am getting better but not up to the level where I want to be yet. I wish to be strong.

[Alie]

Oh my god..and my job is very stressful demanding long hours I'm thinking about quitting but I am staying because it pays the bills. I wish the OP strength because indeed life can be hard.

 

I totally understand how you feel. It sucks to stay at a job because it pays the bills. Why don't you look for something else while still having your job? I hope you find something better soon.

[Alie]

Thanks for all the kind words in here, I am feeling better. Tomorrow, I have two interviews. Even though, I have not found the "job" but I am taking actions to make it happens.